Competitor Jokes

Following is our collection of wins puns and fedup one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Competitor jokes for adults, dirty contest jokes and clean innovative dad gags for kids.

The Best Competitor Puns

At the Olympics

At the Olympics a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole.

"Are you a pole vaulter?"

"No, I'm German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS...

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES.

The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea.

He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop.


Do you know what a true competitor is?

It's a guy who enters a masturbation contest and comes in first, third and ninth.

In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote.

A landslide victory against his sole competitor: "*Or else*".

I want to start a competitor website to Farmers Only...

I want to start a competitor website to Farmers Only. I wanted to call it eFarmony, but I realized that there's a way better name.

Attractor. Where technology and love combine. Meet someone on a tractor.

What's Netflix's biggest competitor?


A deli's competitor falsely accused them of using expired cream cheese on their bagels.

It was all just a schmear campaign.

Pun comp

Last week I entered a pun competition. Each competitor had to come up with 10 puns. The judges would vote which pun was the best after 10 rounds. After all 10 rounds, do you know how many of mine won?

No pun in-ten-did.


I've started competing in discus meets

I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.

This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.

In memory of my friend's Dad who passed yesterday. What is the definition of an avid competitor?

A man who finishes 1st and 3rd in a jerk-off competition.

Rest easy Mike, you'll be missed.

What is an Olympic pre race pep talk for a French competitor?

Retreat that way!

George Bush and his competitor got into a fist fight...

I got to say, it was Al Gore...

So I was gonna make a joke about how a black man was denied to be a competitor in NASCAR...

But it was a little too racy.

What is the direct competitor for Dungeons and Dragons?

Helmets and Spades. Tee hee.

There is an abundance of competition jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 14 funniest jokes and competitor puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any rival witze you can hear about competitor.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes