Competitive Swimming Jokes
15 competitive swimming jokes and hilarious competitive swimming puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about competitive swimming that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Competitive Swimming Short Jokes
Short competitive swimming jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The competitive swimming humour may include short olympic swimming jokes also.
- I won first place in a swimming competition once... 9 months later, my mother gave birth to me
- If you ever feel like your job is meaningless, remember There are lifeguards at olympic swimming competitions
- Did you see the results of the swimming competition at Lake Gennesaret? Jesus won in a walkover.
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Competitive Swimming One Liners
Which competitive swimming one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with competitive swimming? I can suggest the ones about swim team and good swimmer.
- Irony moment in sports When you see lifeguards in Olympic swimming competition
- I won 5th place in the swimming competition! There were only 5 of us.
Competitive Swimming Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about competitive swimming you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean swimming jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make competitive swimming pranks.
A blonde is in a swimming competition.
She comes in dead last in the 100m breast s**.... After she climbs out of the pool, she walks over to the referee.
"I don't want to sound like a whiner," she says, "but I think the other swimmers were using their arms."
You know what's funny about bathing suits?
If a man swims in a bathing suit that only covers his private parts, he will almost always be swimming competitively. If a woman swims in a bathing suit that only covers her private parts, she will almost always be swimming casually.
An Englishman named "One-two-three" and a Frenchman named "Un-deux-trios" challenged each other to see whose cat could swim across the Channel first...
After a grueling competition, One-two-three won after Un-deux-t**... quatre cinq.
A woman's swim team competitor was really upset by her recent loss at the Olympics.
It was during the breast s**... competition when she came in fourth place. She complained the other women were cheating because they were using their arms.
Just a Blonde joke from my childhood
Three girls, a blonde, brunette, and a ginger were having a competition to see who could swim the furthest across a lake.
The red head went first, she swam 1/4th of the way across and back.
The brunette went next, she swam 1/3rd of the way across and back.
Finally, it was the blondes turn, she swam half way across and back.
A blonde, a brunet and a red head were in a competition to see who could swim 60 miles accross a river.
The brunet swims 30 miles, gets a cramp and drowns.
The red head swims accross 30 miles, gets bit by a shark and drowns.
The blonde swims 30 miles accross, says: "I'm tired." and swims 30 miles back.
Finnish joke where a competition between a finn, a swede and a norwegian ends in a tie.
So a finn, a swede and a norwegian are drinking and boasting on a shore of a large lake. They decide that the way to decide who is strongest is for them to swim to the opposite shore somewhere behind the horizon and see who is the fastest.
The swede goes first but drowns after 1/3 of the way. The finn and the norwegian don't see the drowning so they decide that the norwegian shoud go next. The norwegian gets to 2/3 of the way but then, all his strenght depleted drowns like the swede. The finn waits on the shore for a while to see a sign of either of them but then decides that even though they have probably already on the opposite shore celebrating their victory he too will try to brave the distance. The finn swims and swims untill he is only 40 meters from the goal but then feeling tired and defeated, he decides that he can't do it and swims back to the start.
Did you hear about the blonde that...
Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.
Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"
Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.
When asked what the capital of California was; answered "C".
Baked a turkey for 3 days because the instructions said 1 hour per pound and she weighed 125.
After losing in a breaststroke swimming competition, complained that the other swimmers were using their arms.