The Best 49 Compete Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Compete jokes. There are some compete archery jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these compete atrophy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Compete Jokes and Puns

Why do churches ban Wifi Networks?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible connection that actually works.

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

Compete joke, Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 2

I have two friends who always compete against each other in art competitions

But they always end in a draw

I'm thinking of starting a business will use free child labor in exchange for temporary housing.

Although I don't know if I can compete with the Girl Scouts...


My girlfriend got an abortion

She said she didn't want another sister to compete with.

Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

Because they can't compete with an invisible power that actually exists

Compete joke, Why do churches ban Wi-Fi?

What's the difference between a Russian Potato and a U.S. Potato?

The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.

How will Trump select his cabinet?

The Apprentice: the White House

Contestants will compete in a series of challenges aspiring to positions in Trump's cabinet all televised for your viewing pleasure on NBC.

I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson.

I'm not sure which race yet.

Why did Ringling Brothers shut down the circus?

Because with Trump as president their clowns couldn't compete.

You can explore compete championship reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean compete finalists dad jokes. There are also compete puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did the "Ringling Bros." Circus finally go out of business?

They couldn't compete with the circus in Washington DC any longer.

Sea lions can run and swim faster than humans

Which means when you compete against one in a triathlon you really need to make up time on the cycling.

Why do churches, temples, mosques or any religious place not have WiFi?

- Because there is no way they could compete with an invisible power that actually works

My friend asked me why would you chase a girl that already has a boyfriend?

I replied I would rather compete against one guy than the whole world

A nerd was invited to compete in the Trigonometry Mathletic Competition...

he said:
"Sine me up!"

Compete joke, A nerd was invited to compete in the Trigonometry Mathletic Competition...

I heard the Ringling Circus is shutting down this year

I guess they didn't want to compete with the White House.

How do the transgender compete?

They Drag Race.

If procrastination were an olympic sport

I'd compete in it later.


Why don't churches have Wi-Fi?

They don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Why is there no wifi in mosques ?

because they don't wanna compete with an invisible power that actually works

What division does a blacksmith boxer compete in?

Smelterweight.

No one competes against Tom in staring contests anymore. He's a cheat...

...he uses stareoids.

Why do Jehovah's Witnesses hate Halloween?

They have to compete with other strangers going door-to-door.

To enter a competition for bad handwriting

first you must be illegible to compete

I would give an arm and a leg...

to compete at the paralympics.

Two postman compete to see who can deliver more letters, what do you call the winner?

The alpha mail

Why couldn't the Bicycle compete in the Tricycle race?

Because it was two-tired.

What do you call it when two unspeakably awful demons compete to see which is the most evil?

The 2016 election.

A boxer loses his sight in a freak accident.

Not being able to compete again, all he can do now is training with his loyal training partner and hitting the bag. Since he can't see, he is required to remember and move only a certain amount of steps (both forward and backwards) to keep the distance. Suddenly his partner stops the session and the boxer asks why they stopped. His partner says: we stopped because you messed up the punch line.

Two German soccer players go to a sperm bank..

The nurse there tells them that she can only take samples from one of them. Since they are both very strong men, she comes to a conclusion and tells them "I'll take a sample from the fastest runner"

This is alarming to the two German's, both of them being completely exhausted from the previous days game. After discussing it for a while, they decide to inform the nurse

"I don't think we're ready to compete for the cup...

Look out for Hugh's new kitchen range!

My friend Hugh Jarrs has just endorsed a new range of kitchen equipment to compete with George Foreman.

Look out for the Hugh Jarrs Grill.

Jesus and Moses compete who can cross a river faster:

Jesus and Moses compete who can cross a river faster. Moses makes the water split and walks on dry land to the other side. Jesus tries to walk on water, but glug... glug... glug... he starts sinking. "What's the matter?" asks Jesus, "I walked on the water quite well 2000 years ago..." "Well," replies Moses, "that was before you got those holes in your feet..."

A pair of Jesuits started a flower shop...

A pair of Jesuits started a flower shop, with prices so below-cost that no other shop could compete. Several of the other shop owners tried to kill the brothers, but they always failed. Eventually, the other shop owners pooled their money to hire the most clever and expensive assassin in town, Hugh McTaggart. He succeeded, demonstrating that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

I competed in a contest to see who could throw a package the farthest.

I won and got the job as an UPS driver!

"You gotta help man, my bike's possessed. If I ride it, it bites me, if I don't, it still bites me."

"It's a vicious cycle."



"You think that's bad? My bike's turned entirely into clumpy goo."

"It's a viscous cycle."



"You think that's bad?! My bike's turned into a man, and then gone off to compete in the olympics."

"It's discus michael."



Im opening a Russian import store to compete with Bed, Bath & Beyond.

Lenins & more

Trump says that the Special Olympics will still be funded despite DeVos' plan.

This is presumably so Eric and Don Jr can still compete.

Did you hear the President overruled Betsy DeVos and is restoring the Special Olympics funding?

I hear he wants to compete.

We learned today that Trump blocked a proposed budget change that would have eliminated finding for the Special Olympics.

He must have been pretty mad at the thought of being unable to compete this year.

Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain

The Punning Of The Bulls

The fastest black people in my city and the local police department decided to compete against each other in a race

The cops beat them.

To teach my kids about capitalism...

...I made them pay for housing, food, and charged them to use the bathroom.

Then if they wanted to make any money, I had them compete against each other for who could do chores for the least amount of money.

Then when they unionised, I had the neighbour's kid do chores instead and gave them nothing.

How did the African island compete with Tesla?

Madagascar.

So, me and the guys, each year, compete to see who has had sex with the most women.

It's a very intense lying competition.

A Japanese prison invited a few sumo wrestlers for a match...

The fattest prisoners were selected to compete and to everyone's surprise they won.

It's because the cons outweigh the pros.

How come churches don't have Wi-Fi?

Because they don't want to compete with an invisible power that actually works.

Me - What's a 3 letter word for compete?

Dracula - Vie.

Me - It's for a crossword.

I saw this on Twitter(@clichedout) and it made me smile so hopefully someone else will get a kick out of it.

Wrestlers are stupid.

They compete for a belt and none of them wear pants.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the compete win jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working compete contestant piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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