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Compass Jokes

45 compass jokes and hilarious compass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about compass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make navigating the world of comedy easier with these funny compass jokes from around the world! From compass tattoos to moral compasses, these jokes will get you laughing about everything from using a boson to using a SatNav for navigational purposes. Find the best compass jokes you can use to make any crowd laugh!

Funniest Compass Short Jokes

Short compass jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The compass humour may include short combo jokes also.

  1. I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass. After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles.
    After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass...
  2. As companies continue to cut tie with Kanye West... Compass maker INMARK has also decided to drop West from their product line, leaving users lost and confused.
  3. Why did the accordion player get kicked out of the band? He couldn’t find the right key, even with a map and a compass.
  4. Why did the snowman bring a compass to the winter solstice party? He wanted to find his way home before he melted away.
  5. The other day I got lost in the Jungle, but luckily I had a compass with me... So I was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil.
  6. Breaking news: A teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a compass and a divider. The cited reason for the arrest was: " He was carrying weapons of math instruction".
  7. The other day I got lost in the jungle but luckily I had a compass So i was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil
  8. Day 20: Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a compass protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy leg man
  9. I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
  10. Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters? He had no morel compass.

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Compass One Liners

Which compass one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with compass? I can suggest the ones about coop and cope.

  1. Hey girl, are you a broken compass? Because I'm not really sure where I'm going with this
  2. My dad said he unscrambled a word out of the directions on his compass. That's news.
  3. What do you call a crocodile with a map and compass ? A navigator.
  4. Chuck Norris can trisect an angle... ...With only a straight edge and a compass
  5. My compass broke on a hiking trip. It went south very quickly.
  6. If I'm honest... I don't know where I'd be without my compass.
  7. What do you call a fruit that understands you? A compassion fruit
  8. What do you call a broken compass? safari.
  9. I've never supported the study of the moral compass. It's just con science.
  10. Why don't we need a compass at the North Pole? Because every direction is south. 
  11. What did the compass say to the confused magnetic poles on Earth? There's no point
  12. What compass can help you even when it is broken? A moral compass
  13. Why is the California golden gate bridge a great compass? It is collapsible
  14. We need to show compassion for the mentally ill without letting them run for President.
  15. A compass „Drinker": loose your limbs, find your North, let us dance!

Moral Compass Jokes

Here is a list of funny moral compass jokes and even better moral compass puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My moral compass is broken... ...so I got an ethical GPS instead. It gives lousy directions but I always end up meeting the nicest people.
Compass joke, My moral compass is broken...

Comical Compass Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about compass you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean compatible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make compass pranks.

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..

The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"

Breaking News

At Miami International Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe he is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement which has struck t**... into the lives of many for generations. He is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

In the early days of pioneer life, a compass was essential. One of the more common varieties was called the "Tates" compass.

Unfortunately it was a very low quality compass. From which comes the expression: He who has a "Tates," is lost.

Where do grammar n**... fall on the political compass?

Alt-Write

Riddle: A flat-earther and a round-earther enter a maze at the same time. They each have a compass, and both know that the exit is on the North end of the maze. Which one exits the maze first?

The round-earther exits first, because the flat-earther died of measles while inside.

What's the plural of compass?

This one's best if you say it out loud.
What's the plural of octopus?
Octopi.
What's the plural of compass?
Cumpie.

Lebron's life is like one big compass...

He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West.

Fun facts about England

Fun fact: Sussex, Wessex, Essex, and Middlesex, are all named for points on a compass, South, West, East, and Middle respectively, and represent places of Saxon occupancy. That is, Wessex means West Saxons.
But why Middle and not North, you ask. Well, Little Timmy, there's no north because no one wants to be called Nosex.

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism

A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the Police on suspicion of terrorism.
The Police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges.
In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in possession of weapons of maths instruction!"

Two people are putting together a compass

One of them says, "Okay, I got the North part here, South here, and East right here". Then the other guy says, "where's the West of it?"

At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.

Authorities believe she is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. She is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.

A man was stopped in LAX for carrying a protractor, a compass, and a ruler...

He was charged with carrying instruments of math instruction.

Compass joke, Why don't we need a compass at the North Pole?