Compass Jokes
Following is our collection of navigator puns and sudan one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Compass jokes for adults, dirty direction jokes and clean rower dad gags for kids.
The Best Compass Puns
Hey girl, are you a broken compass?
Because I'm not really sure where I'm going with this
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
Where do grammar Nazis fall on the political compass?
Alt-Write
The other day I got lost in the jungle but luckily I had a compass
So i was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil
Breaking news: A teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a compass and a divider.
The cited reason for the arrest was: " He was carrying weapons of math instruction".
Day 20: Still lost at sea.
Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a compass protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy leg man
I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms
But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
My dad said he unscrambled a word out of the directions on his compass.
That's news.
Riddle: A flat-earther and a round-earther enter a maze at the same time. They each have a compass, and both know that the exit is on the North end of the maze. Which one exits the maze first?
The round-earther exits first, because the flat-earther died of measles while inside.
Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters?
He had no morel compass.
What do you call a crocodile with a map and compass ?
A navigator.
Lebron's life is like one big compass...
He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West.
What's the plural of compass?
This one's best if you say it out loud.
What's the plural of octopus?
Octopi.
What's the plural of compass?
Cumpie.
If I'm honest...
I don't know where I'd be without my compass.
My compass broke on a hiking trip.
It went south very quickly.
Two people are putting together a compass
One of them says, "Okay, I got the North part here, South here, and East right here". Then the other guy says, "where's the West of it?"
What do you call a broken compass?
Safari.
At Heathrow Airport today, an individual, later discovered to be a school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor, and a graphical calculator.
Authorities believe she is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. She is being charged with carrying weapons of math instruction.
I've never supported the study of the moral compass.
It's just con science.
A man was stopped in LAX for carrying a protractor, a compass, and a ruler...
He was charged with carrying instruments of math instruction.
Why don't we need a compass at the North Pole?
Because every direction is south.
How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?
Because they're all graduated.
I met a guy who'd told me he had stolen a compass recently.
I told him that he was going down the wrong direction.
Why is the California golden gate bridge a great compass?
It is collapsible
What compass can help you even when it is broken?
A moral compass
Why did East Germany have a drafting compass on their flag?
So that you could draw the direction the country was going.
What's the most effective way to make it to Russia from Alaska?
Boat a compass and keeping your berings strait.
What did the compass say to the confused magnetic poles on Earth?
There's no point
In the middle of the sea, All I am left with in this boat is a brocken compass.
I cant even draw perfect circles.
My moral compass is broken...
...so I got an ethical GPS instead. It gives lousy directions but I always end up meeting the nicest people.
How can you use a banana as a compass?
Place a banana on the Colombia and Venezuela border. The bitten end would point East.
There is an abundance of dividers jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 31 funniest jokes and compass puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any north witze you can hear about compass.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.