Compass Jokes
45 compass jokes and hilarious compass puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about compass that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make navigating the world of comedy easier with these funny compass jokes from around the world! From compass tattoos to moral compasses, these jokes will get you laughing about everything from using a boson to using a SatNav for navigational purposes. Find the best compass jokes you can use to make any crowd laugh!
Funniest Compass Short Jokes
Short compass jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The compass humour may include short combo jokes also.
- I was lost in a forest, trying to find my way out using a compass. After 2 hours, I realized I was going in circles.
After 3 hours, I realized I was using the wrong type of compass... - As companies continue to cut tie with Kanye West... Compass maker INMARK has also decided to drop West from their product line, leaving users lost and confused.
- Why did the snowman bring a compass to the winter solstice party? He wanted to find his way home before he melted away.
- The other day I got lost in the Jungle, but luckily I had a compass with me... So I was able to draw perfect circles with a pencil.
- Breaking news: A teacher was arrested for carrying a protractor, a compass and a divider. The cited reason for the arrest was: " He was carrying weapons of math instruction".
- Day 20: Still lost at sea. Crew thinks I know how to plot a course with a compass protractor. I just like making it walk on the map. Pointy leg man
- I used to have this amazing device that would lead me to the most delicious mushrooms But now it seems i've lost my Morel Compass
- Did you hear about the mushroom hunter who was terrible at finding edible mushrooms, so would resort to stealing them from the baskets of other hunters? He had no morel compass.
- What's the plural of compass? This one's best if you say it out loud.
What's the plural of octopus?
Octopi.
What's the plural of compass?
Cumpie. - Two people are putting together a compass One of them says, "Okay, I got the North part here, South here, and East right here". Then the other guy says, "where's the West of it?"
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Compass One Liners
Which compass one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with compass? I can suggest the ones about coop and cope.
- Hey girl, are you a broken compass? Because I'm not really sure where I'm going with this
- My dad said he unscrambled a word out of the directions on his compass. That's news.
- Chuck Norris can trisect an angle... ...With only a straight edge and a compass
- My compass broke on a hiking trip. It went south very quickly.
- If I'm honest... I don't know where I'd be without my compass.
- What do you call a fruit that understands you? A compassion fruit
- What do you call a broken compass? safari.
- I've never supported the study of the moral compass. It's just con science.
- Why don't we need a compass at the North Pole? Because every direction is south.
- What did the compass say to the confused magnetic poles on Earth? There's no point
- What compass can help you even when it is broken? A moral compass
- Why is the California golden gate bridge a great compass? It is collapsible
- We need to show compassion for the mentally ill without letting them run for President.
- Tates Compass Company Like Congress, they don't work.
He, who has a Tates, is lost. - Where do grammar n**... fall on the political compass? Alt-Write
Moral Compass Jokes
Here is a list of funny moral compass jokes and even better moral compass puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My moral compass is broken... ...so I got an ethical GPS instead. It gives lousy directions but I always end up meeting the nicest people.
Comical Compass Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about compass you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean compatible jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make compass pranks.
A guy carrying a backpack gets stopped by the police on suspicion of terrorism..
The police officer asks him to let him check his backpack. The guy obliges. In his backpack, the officer finds some textbooks, a calculator, a compass and a ruler.
"Aha!", shouts the policeman, "as I suspected. You are under arrest!"
"But why?" the guy protests.
"You have been caught in procession of weapons of math instruction!"
In the early days of pioneer life, a compass was essential. One of the more common varieties was called the "Tates" compass.
Unfortunately it was a very low quality compass. From which comes the expression: He who has a "Tates," is lost.
Riddle: A flat-earther and a round-earther enter a maze at the same time. They each have a compass, and both know that the exit is on the North end of the maze. Which one exits the maze first?
The round-earther exits first, because the flat-earther died of measles while inside.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lebron's life is like one big compass...
He went South, His hairline went North, his dad went East and his mom went Delonte West.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Fun facts about England
Fun fact: Sussex, Wessex, Essex, and Middlesex, are all named for points on a compass, South, West, East, and Middle respectively, and represent places of Saxon occupancy. That is, Wessex means West Saxons.
But why Middle and not North, you ask. Well, Little Timmy, there's no north because no one wants to be called Nosex.
A man was stopped in LAX for carrying a protractor, a compass, and a ruler...
He was charged with carrying instruments of math instruction.
How can you tell that compasses and scales are intelligent?
Because they're all graduated.
I met a guy who'd told me he had stolen a compass recently.
I told him that he was going down the wrong direction.
What's the most effective way to make it to Russia from Alaska?
Boat a compass and keeping your berings strait.
Why did East Germany have a drafting compass on their flag?
So that you could draw the direction the country was going.
