The Best 31 Comparison Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Comparison jokes. There are some comparison beliefs jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these comparison analysis puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Comparison Jokes and Puns

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump.

But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press.

Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke.

Everyone has these expansive bucket lists

Mine is a little pail in comparison

Comparison joke, Everyone has these expansive bucket lists

I heard someone compare African countries to trashcans

I don't think that's a good comparison. My trashcan has food in it.

Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price

I learned this on a price comparison site.


Make me happy and sad with one sentence

A wife and a husband lies in bed and the man asks : wife, I bet you can't make me with one sentence happy and sad at the same time...

The wife replies that's easy : in comparison to all your best friends you have the biggest one 😅

I was trying to think of past Republicans similar to Marjorie Taylor Greene

But they just Palin comparison.

Comparison joke, I was trying to think of past Republicans similar to Marjorie Taylor Greene

A Comparison

What is the difference between a women's track team and a pack of gerbils?

The gerbils are a bunch of cunning runts.

My new bucket really does its job well.

My old one pails in comparison.

A Comparison of the Different Languages

**French**: This chair is feminine. "La Chaise"

**Italian**: This chair is feminine! "La Sedia"

**German**: This chair is masculine. "Der Stuhl"

**English**: This chair is an object, I don't see how it has a gender.

**Japanese**: If you don't pronounce chair exactly right, you'll end up calling your mother a pair of rotten testicles instead.

The average women..

The average women reads 18 books a year. The average man reads 12.

It's really not a fair comparison though....Cook books are shorter.

You can explore comparison nominee reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean comparison graham dad jokes. There are also comparison puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Apparently, France still leads the US in total executions performed.

However, I don't think that's a fair comparison as France got a head start.

What's the difference between a bucket and a tub?

For starters, the bucket pails in comparison.

Why do men want to marry a virgin?

To avoid criticism and comparison.

People say you can't compare apples to oranges...

... always seemed like a fruitful comparison to me though.

The comparisons between Trump and Hitler are a bit unfair...

...Hitler actually achieved his goals.

Comparison joke, The comparisons between Trump and Hitler are a bit unfair...

A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All...

...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support 69 for All

Three people today told me that I look like Justin Timberlake

Guess they were pretty nsync with that comparison.

My cow has a new favourite drinking bucket.

The old one is just pail in comparison.


Why did some White people back then hate Black people?

Because they're pale in comparison

Le'veon Bell is a famous football player,

However his fame fails in comparison to his older brother, Taco.

Did you hear about the Albino impressionist?

Of course, her impressions always pale in comparison to the real thing

Brett Kavanaugh and Bill Cosby.

One rather pales in comparison.

What is the comparison between this World cup and the second world war?

Germany lost both times in Russia.

An interesting comparison between the love of my life and a garbage can.

Many men put their junk inside.

Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.

His name was Frank.

What do you call the difference between a two people who are *supposed* to be equal, but actually couldn't be further apart?

A Palin comparison.

To all you hilarious guys telling Ronda Rousey jokes today:

Seize your moment, gents!

Talk about a woman *and* look like the winner by comparison!

What pales in comparison to a lie?

A white lie.

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.

Bait and switch comparison

Whats the difference between The Lord of the Rings and the Bible? One's a fantasy novel written about a man saving all of humanity from an omniscient evil presence and the other has hobbits.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the comparison despicable jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working comparison similarities piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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