Comparison Jokes

Following is our collection of nominee puns and beliefs one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Comparison jokes for adults, dirty graham jokes and clean analysis dad gags for kids.

The Best Comparison Puns

Steve jobs would have been a better president than Donald Trump.

But it's a silly comparison really, it's like comparing apples to oranges.

Fidel Castro was a cigar-smoking, repressive leader who hated free speech and a free press.

Donald Trump, in comparison, doesn't smoke.

Everyone has these expansive bucket lists

Mine is a little pail in comparison

I heard someone compare African countries to trashcans

I don't think that's a good comparison. My trashcan has food in it.

Vincent Price was taller than Katie Price, and heavier than Alan Price

I learned this on a price comparison site.


Make me happy and sad with one sentence

A wife and a husband lies in bed and the man asks : wife, I bet you can't make me with one sentence happy and sad at the same time...

The wife replies that's easy : in comparison to all your best friends you have the biggest one 😅

A Comparison

What is the difference between a women's track team and a pack of gerbils?

The gerbils are a bunch of cunning runts.

My new bucket really does its job well.

My old one pails in comparison.

A Comparison of the Different Languages

**French**: This chair is feminine. "La Chaise"

**Italian**: This chair is feminine! "La Sedia"

**German**: This chair is masculine. "Der Stuhl"

**English**: This chair is an object, I don't see how it has a gender.

**Japanese**: If you don't pronounce chair exactly right, you'll end up calling your mother a pair of rotten testicles instead.

The average women..

The average women reads 18 books a year. The average man reads 12.

It's really not a fair comparison though....Cook books are shorter.

Why do men want to marry a virgin?

To avoid criticism and comparison.


What's the difference between a bucket and a tub?

For starters, the bucket pails in comparison.

People say you can't compare apples to oranges...

... always seemed like a fruitful comparison to me though.

The comparisons between Trump and Hitler are a bit unfair...

...Hitler actually achieved his goals.

A new poll says 69% of Americans support Medicare-for-All...

...which pales in comparison to the 100% of Americans who support 69 for All

Three people today told me that I look like Justin Timberlake

Guess they were pretty nsync with that comparison.

My cow has a new favourite drinking bucket.

The old one is just pail in comparison.

Le'veon Bell is a famous football player,

However his fame fails in comparison to his older brother, Taco.

Why did some White people back then hate Black people?

Because they're pale in comparison


Brett Kavanaugh and Bill Cosby.

One rather pales in comparison.

What is the comparison between this World cup and the second world war?

Germany lost both times in Russia.

Did you hear about the Albino impressionist?

Of course, her impressions always pale in comparison to the real thing

What pales in comparison to a lie?

A white lie.

Today I learned the fame of Albert Einstein pales in comparison to his brother whose work in cellular regeneration has been the subject of many books and several movies.

His name was Frank.

Bait and switch comparison

Whats the difference between The Lord of the Rings and the Bible? One's a fantasy novel written about a man saving all of humanity from an omniscient evil presence and the other has hobbits.

An interesting comparison between the love of my life and a garbage can.

Many men put their junk inside.

What do you call the difference between a two people who are *supposed* to be equal, but actually couldn't be further apart?

A Palin comparison.

Why does duck taste better than turkey?

Because turkey is just poultry in comparison.

To all you hilarious guys telling Ronda Rousey jokes today:

Seize your moment, gents!

Talk about a woman *and* look like the winner by comparison!

There is an abundance of despicable jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 29 funniest jokes and comparison puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any similarities witze you can hear about comparison.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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