Company Jokes
137 company jokes and hilarious company puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about company that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Brighten up your next company meeting or business party with these funny and friendly company jokes! From CEO jokes to April Fool's pranks, find the perfect joke to make your company laugh. With slogan jokes to secretary jokes, your startup or business will be full of fun!
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Funniest Company Short Jokes
Short company jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The company humour may include short employer jokes also.
- If Elon Musk's space company establishes a mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your.... Space x.
- I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.... My boss asked what companies?
Gas, water and electricity. - A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking." - I got my first job as an accountant at 22, right out of college. Suddenly, the week after I turned 30, they fired me. 13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.
- Now that Facebook changed their name to Meta, FAANG is not longer a valid abbreviation of the biggest 5 tech companies. I'd like to suggest MANGA
- A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
- I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world! The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content
- After calling 5 different home security companies... ....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.
- When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of résumés, I throw about half of them in the garbage. I do not want unlucky people working in our company
- My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised. Nobody expects the spanish Acquisition
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Company One Liners
Which company one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with company? I can suggest the ones about organisation and corp.
- Why is EA the worst gaming company in America? Because Ubisoft is in France.
- I was feeling lonely, so I bought some shares. It's nice to have some company.
- Eminem has started a vaccine company You only get one shot
- I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company. We're not very good.
- Why can't blondes work at the M&M Company? Because they throw away all the ones with w's
- Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go
- What company is the best at meeting deadlines? The Make a Wish Foundation
- Tried to start an origami company... It folded.
- I signed up for my companies 401K... But I don't think I can run that far.
- I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev from a company called You crane.
- How To Become a Millionaire: Be a billionaire and invest in an airline company.
- John Deere's manure spreader... ...is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
- What kind of company did Sauron start? Brick & Mordor.
- I'm angry that only one company makes the game monopoly.
- If the letters fall off your company's logo... ...maybe it's a bad sign.
Company Friendly Jokes
Here is a list of funny company friendly jokes and even better company friendly puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's Alabama like? My new company owner is from there. Seems friendly, he said he's going to treat us employees like we was family?
- A friend invited me to his place the other day. When I got there he said to make myself at home.
So I kicked him out because I don't like having company over. - My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing through a fake tobacco company and glass manufacturer. It was all just smoke and mirrors.
- My friend's nanotechnology company is doing really well. In fact, it's doing so well that he's considering moving to smaller premises.
- My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals.. He's just mining his own business.
- What do you call friend who works for an insurance company? A friend with benefits
I'll leave now - a friend of mine set up a boat building company in his attic. the sails were through the roof.
- I heard Facebook is looking to start a program with insurance companies... It'll be called Friends With Benefits.
- My friend started a beer company named "Dilla" So I went to the store and bought a case a Dilla.
- My friend Ted told me he would not give anymore money to "that awful airline company everyone is talking about". So I said, "U N I, Ted !"
Insurance Company Jokes
Here is a list of funny insurance company jokes and even better insurance company puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did the insurance company say to the applicant? THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
- A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish. They call it their No Clams Bonus.
- Insurance companies are warning Campers if you get your tent stolen in the middle of the night, you won't be covered.
- What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company? Progressive
*this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance* - How do you become rich in Asian countries? Open a car insurance company
- My life as an actor is finally paying off! The other guys insurance company isn't too happy about it though.
- I wonder if, in Ancient Greece, Lighting strikes were considered an "Act of God" by insurance companies.
- Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use? Progressive.
- A construction worker lost his hand in an workplace accident. The insurance company is trying to figure out how it happened but they can't quite put their finger on it
- What do you get when you mix an insurance company with an NFL quarterback? An Aflacco
Company Meeting Jokes
Here is a list of funny company meeting jokes and even better company meeting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- In a meeting at work today someone said they had purchased a company seal... I asked if it does any tricks.
- I fell asleep in the airplane company meeting . . . . . . . . . . because it was Boeing
- A luddite kickstarter company was sued for racial discrimination -- even before their first planning meeting. They promised investors to only ever use a white board.
- We recently had a board meeting to talk about the foundation of our company... Turns out we need more Two by Fours.
Moving Company Jokes
Here is a list of funny moving company jokes and even better moving company puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I started my own traffic control company. It's a slow-moving business.
- Moving company: "You've got a lot of heavy furniture to haul. I suggest renting a moving truck." Dad: "Why would I want to rent a truck that doesn't move?"
- In an attempt to create synergy, an airline and a beer company merged. It think it was a smart move for the newly formed Alaska Natural Ice. However, I'm less optimistic about Corona Delta.
- My illiterecy got me fired from the box moving company. I was so confused, I didn't know which way was up.
- My company moved offices and wanted to transfer my job to northern Canada But I was having nunavut.
- What do you call a moving truck rental company in Texas? U-all.
- I'm moving my company to Missouri... ...because you know, Missouri loves company.
- What do you call a moving company owned by cows? A bunch of moooovers.
- What do you call a Middle Eastern moving company? Pack-it-stan
Hilarious Company Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about company you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean organization jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make company pranks.
Why is everyone criticising EA?
I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).
Jewish ad campaign
Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."
I'm not one to brag about my financial skills,
but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.
I was reading my emails...
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
Sam walks into his boss's office.
Sir, I'll be straight with you, I know the economy isn't great, but I have over three companies after me, and I would like to respectfully ask for a raise.
After a few minutes of haggling the boss finally agrees to a 5 per cent raise, and Sam happily gets up to leave.
By the way , asks the boss as Sam is getting up, which three companies are after you?
The electric company, water company, and phone company , Sam replied.
Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Granny's boyfriend
A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."
Car company executives must have the best memories in the world
because GM recalls everything.
A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...
The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."
I called my girlfriends cell phone and some other guy answered the phone...
He told me that my phone number was no longer in service and to call the phone company to pay my bill.
First she cheats on me and then she tells him about my financial troubles!
There was an International Job opening.
Two men applied, a Canadian man, and an American. After the test and the interview, they company decided to go with the Canadian man. The American with distraught asked why they decided to hire the Canadian and how he did in the interview and test. They said it was a very difficult decision because they both did equally well on the test and in the interview. The American was outraged. "THEN WHY DID YOU HIRE THE CANADIAN?!?." The manager then responded, "Well, you both did equally well in the interview, but the real problem was the test. You both got 9/10 on the test, but for question 10, the Canadian man put 'I don't know' and you put 'me neither.'"
Shout out to my Math Teacher for telling me this one.
I'm gonna start a company where I drive people around to haunted places.
It'll be called Ghost Bus Tours
My boss wanted me to sign up for the company 401k.
I told him, "No way, do you have any idea how far that is?"
I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
My dad and I were never that close.
The company he worked for once had a "father-son" picnic and he invited his father
A blonde is walking along the shoreline of a lake in Minnesota looking for seashells when she spots another blonde across the lake from her. Eager for company she shouts loudly "How do I get to the other side?"
The other blonde shouts back "You're on the other side!"
What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?
A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.
What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?
One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.
What is the quietest place on Earth?
The complaint department at a parachute packing company.
A Man asks his lover in a restaurant
Man : Honey, what do you love most about me?
Woman : I love your company the most darling!
Man : Wow really? that is so sweet of you my love
Woman : Um, it's still making money right?
*edit :forgot to mention that I remember this joke from Benny Hills show, not my own joke
*edit 2 : Benny Hills not Benn, autocorrect strikes again!
A company hire an efficiency expert as a consultant.
To everyone's surprise, the presentation was very interesting. For once many felt like this was a valuable use of time! as the presenter finished up, he said, "I hope you have found use in my presentation today, but I would warn you, be careful about using these techniques at home. The other night I was watching as my wife did the dinner dishes, and noticed some inefficiency in her technique. Wanting to be helpful, I advised her of several small improvements that could add up to maximum efficiency."
One of the attendees raised their hand,"Did it work? Did the dishwashing become more efficient?"
"Oh yes," the consultant replied,"before my advice, my wife took 18 minutes to finish the dishes, now I do it in 12."
During the crusades a man entrusts his friend with the key to his daughter's chastity belt when he is away...
The man entrusted with the key replies with 'Ah yes sir you can count on me'
The father rides onwards and 30 minutes on into his journey his friend speeds to his company on horseback, and shouts at him 'Sir! You left the wrong key!'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Snoop Dogg seems to be investing in a company that will deliver w**... to your house in 10 minutes...
Sadly, the name Instagram is taken.
Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?
Because Missouri loves company
Everyone is panicking about the stock markets....
But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.
A man storms into his manager's office
and demands a raise. "And just so you know," he blusters, "three other companies are after me!"
"Is that so?" the manager says. "Which companies in particular?"
"The electricity company, the telephone company and the gas company."
I made a company that disguises land mines as prayer mats...
Prophets are through the roof
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man went to China.
He hired a p**... to keep him company during the night, and when things got serious, she kept shouting a word in Chinese.
The next day, the man went to a golf course with a couple of business associates. They had a good afternoon until a person hit a hole in one. Everyone started shouting in excitement, and the man decided to join in, shouting the word he hears last night, thinking it was that of excitement.
Everyone turned to the man in silence. After a full minute of awkward silence, the one who made the shot asked "What do you mean, wrong hole?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A new hot secretary joined a company...
Two guys of this company start to speak about her:
"Holy molly she is so hot, we should really try to sleep with her"
So they start flirting with her.
One week later, the first one manages to sleep with her. His friend asks him "So, how was it?" "Meh, my wife is better".
Surprised by this answer, this guy starts to hit on the secretary very hard, and gets to have s**... with her three days later.
His friend then asks him if he shares his opinion. He answers: "Yeah, you were actually right: your wife is better".
I want to start an interior design company, I'm going to call it 9/11
because it's an inside job.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…
Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or j**...."
Jill replies, "You'll have to j**... then, 'cause I've got a headache."
My electricity bill was running suspiciously high
Had the power company send someone over. He found a wire tapped into my house running to a neighbor's. Watt do you know, a Joule thief lives next to my Ohm.
So I broke my waterproof speaker, by throwing it into a pool.
I filed a request for a new speaker, but the company responded "it's not our fault the pool was empty".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An army captain approaches a p**... and asks her, "Would you enjoy my company for $100?"...
She looks at the handsome military officer and says, "Of course, I would be glad!"
Captain replies, "COMPANY! FORWARD!"
I handle important transactions for a large multinational company ...
... is what a tell my Mum instead of saying I work at McDonald's.
I can't believe I got fired just for taking a day off.
I am never working for a calendar company again.
Remember: YouTube is a private company that can do whatever it wants.
It's not like it's a bakery or something.
Show Off - A young businessman has just set up his own company.
A young businessman has just set up his own company. He rents an office downtown and buys some trendy furniture for it. Sitting behind his new desk, he suddenly sees a potential client come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picks up the phone and pretends that he's calling an important client. Offer them no more than $3 million! he shouts
down the phone. And tell them that if it isn't finished by next week, they won't get a penny! After hanging up , the man says to the visitor, "Hello? Can I help you?" And the visitor replies, Yes, I'm from the phone company. I've come to connect your phone line.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest?
The Chilean mining company gets its miners stuck in a shaft. The Catholic priest gets its shaft stuck in a minor.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was company that sold s**... toys to aliens.
It was SpaceXXX.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four insurance companies are in competition.
One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."
The Second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the w**... to the tomb."
Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the s**... to the worm."
The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the e**... to the resurrection."
A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs.
They were made for the sink.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the k**... Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:
Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man boards a plane with six kids
After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No, I work for a c**... company, these are customer complaints."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.
The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."
What's the difference between a Texas energy company and a Dumpster Fire?
A Dumpster Fire creates affordable light and heat.
TIL the company Tampax donates their slightly defective tampons to women's prisons
No strings attached
My dad works for a company that focuses on the health of the lower 3/4 of the body, and yesterday he just became the CEO.
Now he's the Head of Shoulders, Knees, and Toes!
I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!
I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:
**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**
When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*
Me to HR: Your careers page says the company offers "competitive salary". What does that mean exactly?
HR: That means your salary will be competing with your bills.
A guy's wife is stuck in a toilet.
He tries getting her out - nothing, she's still stuck, unable to get out. So guy calls the plumbing company to come to rescue. They say that they'll be there in half an hour. While waiting, the guy covers his wife's private parts with a sombrero, so she doesn't get embarrassed any further.
Half an hour later plumbers come, look at the situation and the more experienced looking one says "We'll get the lady out - no problem. As for the Mexican - I'm sorry, but we think he's beyond saving..."
I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.
1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day
A company just rented me a limo for $300, but I just found out that it doesn't come with a driver.
So I have a limo but nothing to chauffeur it.
I'll show myself out..,
I have a feeling that I'll be fired from my job at the graffiti removal company.
The writing is on the wall.
My buddy and I have been working at this company for several years
We thought everything was going great. Numbers were up, sales were soaring! But one day our boss announced that the entire company was being bought out by some company in Spain.
What?! I exclaimed to my friend. This is so out of the blue! Never in a million years could I have seen this coming.
My friend shook his head and looked at me sideways. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition, he sighed.
A lumberjack walks into the company office to get paid.
The secretary says, I have a check here for cutting down 236 trees this week.
The lumberjack replies, I actually cut down 237 trees.
Are you sure? , says the secretary, Your foreman counted 236 on the truck.
Sure, I'm sure, replies the lumberjack. I kept a log .
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My company got bought out by a Madrid-based firm today," the guy tells the bartender. "Everyone was surprised." "Well," the bartender replies. "No one expects the Spanish acquisition."
Credit card company called me to report suspicious activity...
I asked what kind of suspicious activity and they said someone made a payment.
