JokoJokes

Company Jokes

140 company jokes and hilarious company puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about company that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Brighten up your next company meeting or business party with these funny and friendly company jokes! From CEO jokes to April Fool's pranks, find the perfect joke to make your company laugh. With slogan jokes to secretary jokes, your startup or business will be full of fun!

Funniest Company Short Jokes

Short company jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The company humour may include short employer jokes also.

  1. If Elon Musk's space company establishes a mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your.... Space x.
  2. I told my boss that three companies were after me and I need a raise.... My boss asked what companies?
    Gas, water and electricity.
  3. A company owner was asked a question, How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
    He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."
  4. I got my first job as an accountant at 22, right out of college. Suddenly, the week after I turned 30, they fired me. 13 years of loyal service to the company, down the drain.
  5. Now that Facebook changed their name to Meta, FAANG is not longer a valid abbreviation of the biggest 5 tech companies. I'd like to suggest MANGA
  6. A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him. He's the new temp.
  7. I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world! The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content
  8. BREAKING NEWS: A man who took an Airline company to court after his luggage went missing has lost his case.
  9. I asked my boss for a raise. He said what for?
    I told him 3 different companies are after me. He asked which ones?
    I said: Gas, Water, and electric.
  10. After calling 5 different home security companies... ....I've decided it's cheaper to get robbed.

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Company One Liners

Which company one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with company? I can suggest the ones about organisation and corp.

  1. Why is EA the worst gaming company in America? Because Ubisoft is in France.
  2. I was feeling lonely, so I bought some shares. It's nice to have some company.
  3. Eminem has started a vaccine company You only get one shot
  4. Why are diversity officers in progressive companies always women? Because it is cheaper.
  5. I work for the world's largest nanotechnology company. We're not very good.
  6. I was feeling a bit lonely so I bought some stock Now I have a bit of company.
  7. Why can't blondes work at the M&M Company? Because they throw away all the ones with w's
  8. If you ever feel lonely, buy stocks. You will have company
  9. Why were all the computers in the company frozen? Because they let IT go
  10. What company is the best at meeting deadlines? The Make a Wish Foundation
  11. Tried to start an origami company... It folded.
  12. I've set up a company to rid people of vampires. I'm the main stakeholder.
  13. I signed up for my companies 401K... But I don't think I can run that far.
  14. I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev from a company called You crane.
  15. How To Become a Millionaire: Be a billionaire and invest in an airline company.

Company Friendly Jokes

Here is a list of funny company friendly jokes and even better company friendly puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's Alabama like? My new company owner is from there. Seems friendly, he said he's going to treat us employees like we was family?
  • A friend invited me to his place the other day. When I got there he said to make myself at home.
    So I kicked him out because I don't like having company over.
  • My best friend tried to hide his drug dealing through a fake tobacco company and glass manufacturer. It was all just smoke and mirrors.
  • My friend's nanotechnology company is doing really well. In fact, it's doing so well that he's considering moving to smaller premises.
  • What is the most environmentally friendly game company? The three that make Call of Duty; They've recycled their ONLY GAME, every year for the past 7 years.
  • My friend started a company that digs rocks and minerals.. He's just mining his own business.
  • What do you call friend who works for an insurance company? A friend with benefits

    I'll leave now
  • a friend of mine set up a boat building company in his attic. the sails were through the roof.
  • I heard Facebook is looking to start a program with insurance companies... It'll be called Friends With Benefits.
  • My friend started a beer company named "Dilla" So I went to the store and bought a case a Dilla.

Insurance Company Jokes

Here is a list of funny insurance company jokes and even better insurance company puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When lightnings struck the church, the insurance company refused to pay Reason: Act of God, in other words, deliberate destruction by owner.
  • What did the insurance company say to the applicant? THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!
  • A health insurance company is offering a cheaper deal to anyone who ticks a box that says they promise not to eat shellfish. They call it their No Clams Bonus.
  • Insurance companies are warning Campers if you get your tent stolen in the middle of the night, you won't be covered.
  • What's Bernie Sanders's favorite insurance company? Progressive
    *this just popped up in my head while in the shower. If already posted I apologize in advance*
  • Progressive and allstate used to be one insurance company.. .. but nobody wanted prostate insurance.
  • How do you become rich in Asian countries? Open a car insurance company
  • My life as an actor is finally paying off! The other guys insurance company isn't too happy about it though.
  • I wonder if, in Ancient Greece, Lighting strikes were considered an "Act of God" by insurance companies.
  • I tried to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused. They said, If your tent gets blown away, you... won't be covered.
Company joke, I tried to get tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.

Company Meeting Jokes

Here is a list of funny company meeting jokes and even better company meeting puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A CEO and his board of directors gather for a meeting CEO: We need to stop testing our products on animals.
    BOD: Why? Shampoo companies do it all the time.
    CEO: Yeah but we make hammers
  • I used to run a dating company for chickens But I couldn't make hens meet.
  • In a meeting at work today someone said they had purchased a company seal... I asked if it does any tricks.
  • I fell asleep in the airplane company meeting . . . . . . . . . . because it was Boeing
  • A luddite kickstarter company was sued for racial discrimination -- even before their first planning meeting. They promised investors to only ever use a white board.
  • We recently had a board meeting to talk about the foundation of our company... Turns out we need more Two by Fours.

Moving Company Jokes

Here is a list of funny moving company jokes and even better moving company puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I started my own traffic control company. It's a slow-moving business.
  • Moving company: "You've got a lot of heavy furniture to haul. I suggest renting a moving truck." Dad: "Why would I want to rent a truck that doesn't move?"
  • In an attempt to create synergy, an airline and a beer company merged. It think it was a smart move for the newly formed Alaska Natural Ice. However, I'm less optimistic about Corona Delta.
  • My illiterecy got me fired from the box moving company. I was so confused, I didn't know which way was up.
  • My company moved offices and wanted to transfer my job to northern Canada But I was having nunavut.
  • What do you call a moving truck rental company in Texas? U-all.
  • Despite threatening tweets from Donald Trump, Kraft Foods is moving their operations to Israel. A company name change is also in order. They will henceforth be called Cheeses of Nazareth.
  • I'm moving my company to Missouri... ...because you know, Missouri loves company.
  • What do you call a moving company owned by cows? A bunch of moooovers.
  • What do you call a Middle Eastern moving company? Pack-it-stan
Company joke, What do you call a Middle Eastern moving company?

Hilarious Company Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about company you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean organization jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make company pranks.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.
($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

I'm not one to brag about my financial skills,

but my credit card company calls me almost every day to tell me my balance is outstanding.

I was reading my emails...

The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?

Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."

The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."

Granny's boyfriend

A 5 yr old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.
While playing with his toys in her bedroom while Grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you dont have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good. The comedies make me laugh. I'm really happy with the TV as my boyfriend."
Grandma turned on the TV and the reception was terrible. She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she finally started hitting the backside of the TV, hoping to fix the problem. The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door, and there stood a man.
The man said, "Hello, son, is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, but she's in the bedroom b**... her boyfriend."

The captain and the p**...

A captain of the army goes to a p**... and asks her :
"Say, madam, for a hundred dollars, would you accept my company ?"
And the p**... answers : "Of course, a handsome military like you"
The captains thanks her, turns around and shout :
"Company, FORWARD !"
(I hope the joke translates well)

I called my girlfriends cell phone and some other guy answered the phone...

He told me that my phone number was no longer in service and to call the phone company to pay my bill.
First she cheats on me and then she tells him about my financial troubles!

I'm gonna start a company where I drive people around to haunted places.

It'll be called Ghost Bus Tours

My boss wanted me to sign up for the company 401k.

I told him, "No way, do you have any idea how far that is?"

I opened a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats.

Prophets are going through the roof.

A blonde is walking along the shoreline of a lake in Minnesota looking for seashells when she spots another blonde across the lake from her. Eager for company she shouts loudly "How do I get to the other side?"

The other blonde shouts back "You're on the other side!"

What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts.

What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?

One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.

What is the quietest place on Earth?

The complaint department at a parachute packing company.

A man goes to a job interview...

His resume was fantastic and his qualities was perfect for the company. The interviewers were impressed.
"You are a strong candidate, and we would like to hire you. However, there's this 5 years gap in your resume. What were you doing during that time?"
"I went to Yale"
"Wow great! You're hired"
"Yay, I got a yob!"

During the crusades a man entrusts his friend with the key to his daughter's chastity belt when he is away...

The man entrusted with the key replies with 'Ah yes sir you can count on me'
The father rides onwards and 30 minutes on into his journey his friend speeds to his company on horseback, and shouts at him 'Sir! You left the wrong key!'

Snoop Dogg seems to be investing in a company that will deliver w**... to your house in 10 minutes...

Sadly, the name Instagram is taken.

Why does Missouri share borders with the most amount of States?

Because Missouri loves company

Punctuality....

A company owner was asked a question, "How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

Everyone is panicking about the stock markets....

But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.

When I am tasked with sorting through a stack of résumés, I throw about half of them in the garbage.

I do not want unlucky people working in our company

I want to start an interior design company, I'm going to call it 9/11

because it's an inside job.

The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…

Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or j**...."
Jill replies, "You'll have to j**... then, 'cause I've got a headache."

I went to my boss at work and said, "I need a raise. Three other companies are after me."

He said, "Really? Which companies are after you?"
I said, "The electric company, the utilities company and the phone company."

A bunch of beer company CEOs are at a conference and they decide to go get a drink...

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light, the CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light, the CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light, and the list goes on. The bartender makes his way to the CEO of Guiness and he orders a Coke.
His colleagues ask, "why don't you order a Guiness?"
And the Guiness CEO replies, "If you guys aren't going to drink beer, then neither will I."

So I broke my waterproof speaker, by throwing it into a pool.

I filed a request for a new speaker, but the company responded "it's not our fault the pool was empty".

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.

Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition

An army captain approaches a p**... and asks her, "Would you enjoy my company for $100?"...

She looks at the handsome military officer and says, "Of course, I would be glad!"
Captain replies, "COMPANY! FORWARD!"

The new IT guy at my company is from Australia.

He comes from a LAN down under.

A man lost his luggage so he took the airline company to court

Apparently he lost his case

I can't believe I got fired just for taking a day off.

I am never working for a calendar company again.

I was feeling very lonely the other day so I bought some stocks.

It's nice to have a bit of company.

4 beer company CEOs walk into a bar

The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud Light.
The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Light.
The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light.
The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The first three ask the CEO of Guinness why he didn't order a Guinness, to which he replied:
"I figured if you 3 weren't ordering beer it would be rude for me to."

Show Off - A young businessman has just set up his own company.

A young businessman has just set up his own company. He rents an office downtown and buys some trendy furniture for it. Sitting behind his new desk, he suddenly sees a potential client come into the outer office. Wanting to appear busy, he picks up the phone and pretends that he's calling an important client. Offer them no more than $3 million! he shouts
down the phone. And tell them that if it isn't finished by next week, they won't get a penny! After hanging up , the man says to the visitor, "Hello? Can I help you?" And the visitor replies, Yes, I'm from the phone company. I've come to connect your phone line.

There was company that sold s**... toys to aliens.

It was SpaceXXX.

I started a company..

I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof!

Four insurance companies are in competition.

One comes up with the slogan, "Coverage from the cradle to the grave."
The Second one tries to improve on that with, "Coverage from the w**... to the tomb."
Not to be outdone, the third one comes up with, "From the s**... to the worm."
The fourth insurance company really thought hard and almost gave up the race, but finally came up with, "From the e**... to the resurrection."

Today i got a wage increase unexpectedly.

I told my boss three companies were after me and I needed a raise to stay at my job. We haggled for a few minutes and he gave me a 5 % raise.
Leaving his office, he stopped and asked me, By the way, which companies are after you? I responded, The gas, electric and cable company.

It was just announced that William Shatner's womens' l**... company has been discontinued.

Apparently "Shatner p**..." isn't a great name for an underwear brand.

A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs.

They were made for the sink.

In 1999, in the midst of the Y2K panic, the k**... Jelly company announced it was now Y2K compliant:

Known as 'Y2KY Jelly, it now allowed you to put all four digits in your date

A man boards a plane with six kids

After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No, I work for a c**... company, these are customer complaints."

Four guys are playing golf together and talking about how successful their sons are.

The first says, "My son is so successful, he's VP of his company and just gave his best friend a car. "
The second says, " That's nothing, my son is CEO of his company and just gave his best friend a house."
The third says, "Well, my son owns 3 highly profitable companies and just gave his best friend a jet."
They look expectantly at the last guy who says, "My son is a gay e**... who gets showered with love and admiration. He just got a car, a house, and a jet from three of his clients."

What's the difference between a Texas energy company and a Dumpster Fire?

A Dumpster Fire creates affordable light and heat.

When I was a boy, my dad gave me money to go downtown and pay the electric bill

But instead, I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a new truck.
I told my dad when I got home and he beat my a**....
The next morning, however, there was a brand new truck in the driveway.
We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from the electric company there to turn off the lights.
So dad beat my a**... again

TIL the company Tampax donates their slightly defective tampons to women's prisons

No strings attached

I told my boss that he needs to raise my salary because two companies are after me.

Boss: "What companies are those?"
Me: "The electricity company and the water company."

I'm a screenwriter and I just signed an amazing 2-year deal with the parent company of Universal Pictures!

I'm going to be getting the basic cable plus HBO.

Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

**"VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento"**
When asked why he had such a long password, he rolled his eyes and said: *Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital."*

Me to HR: Your careers page says the company offers "competitive salary". What does that mean exactly?

HR: That means your salary will be competing with your bills.

A guy's wife is stuck in a toilet.

He tries getting her out - nothing, she's still stuck, unable to get out. So guy calls the plumbing company to come to rescue. They say that they'll be there in half an hour. While waiting, the guy covers his wife's private parts with a sombrero, so she doesn't get embarrassed any further.
Half an hour later plumbers come, look at the situation and the more experienced looking one says "We'll get the lady out - no problem. As for the Mexican - I'm sorry, but we think he's beyond saving..."

When I was a boy my dad gave me money....

When I was a boy my dad gave my money to go downtown and pay the electric bill but instead I bought raffle tickets for a chance to win a truck. I told my dad when I got home and he beat my a**... but the next morning in the driveway sat a new truck. We all held each other and cried, especially me because it was the truck from electric company there to turn the lights off.
....Dad beat my a**... again ....

I'm a 21-year-old multimillionaire. Here's how I did it.

1. I get up at 5:00 AM every day
2. I run for an hour before breakfast
3. Afterward, I take a cold shower to wake me up.
4. Journaling is key. You never know when you might need to remember something.
5. Always write down an appointment as soon as you get it.
6. My dad owns a Fortune 500 company.
7. I meditate every day

A company just rented me a limo for $300, but I just found out that it doesn't come with a driver.

So I have a limo but nothing to chauffeur it.
I'll show myself out..,

I have a feeling that I'll be fired from my job at the graffiti removal company.

The writing is on the wall.

My buddy and I have been working at this company for several years

We thought everything was going great. Numbers were up, sales were soaring! But one day our boss announced that the entire company was being bought out by some company in Spain.
What?! I exclaimed to my friend. This is so out of the blue! Never in a million years could I have seen this coming.
My friend shook his head and looked at me sideways. Nobody expects the Spanish Acquisition, he sighed.

Dude explaining how he made his first $10 million:

Get up at 5:00AM every day
90 minutes of cardio
Take a cold shower
Journal
Schedule out your day
Dad owns Fortune 500 company
Meditate

A lumberjack walks into the company office to get paid.

The secretary says, I have a check here for cutting down 236 trees this week.
The lumberjack replies, I actually cut down 237 trees.
Are you sure? , says the secretary, Your foreman counted 236 on the truck.
Sure, I'm sure, replies the lumberjack. I kept a log .

A guy walks into a bar

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "My company got bought out by a Madrid-based firm today," the guy tells the bartender. "Everyone was surprised." "Well," the bartender replies. "No one expects the Spanish acquisition."

I've very recently started a company selling trampolines in Prague…

My first Czech bounced.

Adam spoke to God in the Garden of Eden

"I am lonely" said Adam. "I need someone around for company."
"Very well," said God. "I will create a companion for you. One who will obey your every word, do all your chores along with cooking and cleaning for you."
"Wonderful!" said Adam. "What will it take?"
"For you, it will cost an arm and a leg" said God.
"That seems pretty steep" said Adam. "What could I get for just a rib?"

How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to climb the ladder, one to shake it and one to sue the ladder company

Company joke, How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

jokes about company