JokoJokes

Comp Jokes

119 comp jokes and hilarious comp puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about comp that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Comp Short Jokes

Short comp jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The comp humour may include short comb jokes also.

  1. Miley Cyrus Do you know what happened after Miley Cyrus fell down at a concert?
    She got twerkmans comp.
  2. Now that Miley Cyrus is no longer doing raunchy pop music.. She decided to apply for twerkers comp
  3. What is the difference between a casino and the stock market ? The casino comps you after taking all your money

Share These Comp Jokes With Friends




Comp One Liners

Which comp one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with comp? I can suggest the ones about cope and comm.

  1. What do you call a Mustard Competition? A Compe*Dijon*
  2. The CS:GO Joke. In a COMP match in CSGO how many people does Olofmeister kill?
    Olofem
  3. What does the average comp sci student graduate with? His virginity
  4. What class comes after comp sci 1? Comp sci 10.
  5. What do Comp. Sci majors and Biology majors have in common? They both study trees.
  6. What does h**... call his computer? Mein Comp.
  7. If h**... made a YouTube video, what would it be called? Vine Comp.
  8. What did h**... call his Bit Coin farming computer? Mine Comp

Comp joke, What did h**... call his Bit Coin farming computer?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about comp can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of comp puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Howlingly Hilarious Comp Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about comp you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean coop jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make comp prank.

I completed another lap around the Sun, but I only get half a minute to celebrate today.

It's my thirty-second birthday.

Computer joke of the day!

>Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote click'."

My computer has a virus that causes unblockable popups and constantly demands my personal information...

...it's called Norton

I don't like my computer memory.

Not one bit.

A computer joke...

I hear they make gender-specific versions of ActiveX now: ActiveXX and ActiveXY. Unfortunately, ActiveXX overflows for a few days every month and ActiveXY constantly tries to mount drives it shouldn't.

Why couldn't the computer play golf?...

...Because it had the wrong Driver

Computer diagnosis

One day, Pete complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts. I guess I should see a doctor."
His friend said, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your u**..., and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about and it will only cost you $10.00."
Pete figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a u**... sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00.
The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause, out popped a small slip of paper which read:
1. You have tennis elbow.
2. Soak your arm in warm water, avoid heavy labor.
3. It will be better in two weeks.......
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this computer could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, and u**... samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he m**... into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the computer, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.00. The machine again made the usual noises, flashed its alights, and printed out the following analysis:
1. Your tap water is too hard.
2. Get a water softener.
3. Your dog has ringworm.
4. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
5. Your daughter is using c**....
6. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
7. Your wife is pregnant ....... twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
8. And if you don't stop m**..., your elbow will never get better.

So I complimented my friend's majestic moustache.

No idea why she had to slap me though.

It's complicated having s**... with hipsters.

They don't like things that are "in".

Why is it that whenever you complement someone on their mustache...

suddenly she's not your friend anymore?

A company of the French Foreign Legion are lost in the desert...

The Captain assembles his men and says: "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is... we have run out of food and there is nothing to eat but sand. The good news is... there's plenty."

I am completely obsessed with collecting magazines.

What can I say, I have issues.

A computer programmer was sitting at home with his wife.

He takes a cigarette out of his pocket, lights it, and takes a puff.
His wife looks at him angrily and says,
"You really need to stop doing that. Can't you see the warning on the box? It says 'hazardous to health!'"
The programmer takes another puff of his cigarette and says,
"I'm a computer programmer. I don't care about warnings. I only care about errors."

I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind..

It came completely out of the green

I completely understand parents who choose not to vaccinate their children...

...because they all got vaccinated as children, and obviously turned out r**....

Here's my complete guide on the art of Trolling:

My ex was like a computer game.

Started off easy, got a little harder and eventually I ended up cheating.

['90s] I just got a new computer.

It's called "The Tyson." It comes with two bytes and no memory.

What computer monitor sings the best?

A Dell.

I got a computer for my wife today.

Best trade I ever made.

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

Compliment of a HOT Secretary...

Secretary to her Boss: I want to complain of an employee here in our office.
Boss: What happened?
Secretary: Whenever we cross each other, he says that my hair smell too good.
Boss: That's just a compliment.
Secretary: It's not, he is a midget.

Somebody actually complimented me on my parking today.

They left a note on the windscreen. It said, "Parking fine", so that was nice.

Don't Ever Let Him See You Completely n**...

The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of
marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.
"Never let your husband see you in the n**...," she advised. "You
should always wear something."
"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.
Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband
were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there
ever been any insanity in your family?"
"Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?"
"Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night
you've worn that silly hat to bed."

Compliment somebody on their moustache

and all of a sudden she is not your friend anymore.

A company hire an efficiency expert as a consultant.

To everyone's surprise, the presentation was very interesting. For once many felt like this was a valuable use of time! as the presenter finished up, he said, "I hope you have found use in my presentation today, but I would warn you, be careful about using these techniques at home. The other night I was watching as my wife did the dinner dishes, and noticed some inefficiency in her technique. Wanting to be helpful, I advised her of several small improvements that could add up to maximum efficiency."
One of the attendees raised their hand,"Did it work? Did the dishwashing become more efficient?"
"Oh yes," the consultant replied,"before my advice, my wife took 18 minutes to finish the dishes, now I do it in 12."

I am completely outraged by JJ Abrahms saying the next Star Wars will have an openly gay character in his science fiction franchise

Star wars is Science Fantasy, not Science Fiction

What computer says "hello"

A Dell

My computer crashed a few hours into writing my paper

looks like I'm gonna have to write my name and the date again

A computer science student...

...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. You can't see that, it's private!
The second student protested, But we're in the same class

Why were all the computers in the company frozen?

Because they let IT go

i got complimented on my driving earlier

they left a note on the car saying parking fine

My computer won't stop crying and singing about break ups...

That's the last time I buy A Dell.

I'm in a complex relationship

My girlfriend is imaginary.

I know you can't compare apples to oranges...

...but two apples do make a pear.

My computer just said hello to me.

I think it's A Dell.

How do computers measure pain?

Gigahurts.
(Came up with this in the car on my way to school hopefully its original)

Why do computer programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because Oct31 = Dec25

Just because nobody complains

Doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

I'm going to compete in a marathon dressed as Michael Jackson.

I'm not sure which race yet.

A Comprehensive Guide on How to be Like Jesus

1. Be a carpenter.
2. Be a nice guy.
3. ???
4. Prophet.

Complementing a mustache should be a good thing

I don't know why she took it as an insult.

I'm not a competitive person

I'll be the first to admit it.

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve..

It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to c**....

Complaint from 3017: These children's long-term zero gravity soccer leagues are raising weak adults.

Every kid gets atrophy.

I just completed a puzzle in 6 months

despite it saying 4 - 6 years on the box.

A computer programmer's wife sends her husband to the store.

She says, "Buy a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen."
An hour later, he returns home with twelve loaves of bread. She asks,
"Why did you get twelve loaves of bread?" Her husband replies,
"Because they had eggs."

What company is the best at meeting deadlines?

The Make a Wish Foundation

I might not be the most companionable, engrossing and perspicacious person.

But at least I know long words.

When was the first computer?

Adam and Eve's time. It was an apple. It only had one byte, then everything went downhill.

I COMPLETELY disagree with Trump's military trans ban...

I mean, wouldn't all those attack helicopters be useful??

Why was the computer mad when he got home?

It had a hard drive

My company got bought out by a Madrid based firm today. Everyone seemed surprised.

Nobody expects the spanish Acquisition

My company has a weekly joke and after four years I'm quite sick of it.

They call it a "paycheck" when it's barely an allowance!

Computer virus are no joke

I used to have a girlfriend but she ransomware.
I WannaCry now... ;(

Remember…you are not completely useless.

You can always serve as a bad example.

My computer beat me at chess...

So I beat my computer at kickboxing.

How does a computer get drunk?

It takes screenshots.

I'm a scientist who's researching b**... between humans and dogs…

If you'd like more details, I'll be in my lab…

When the computers c**... at work.

A wife asks her husband how his day at work went. It was awful, the man explains, pouring himself a stiff drink. All of our computer systems shut down today so we had to do everything manually.
That sounds awful, the wife consoles.
You're telling me, he replies after a sip, I had to keep shuffling the deck of cards for solitaire by hand.

A computer once beat me in chess

But it was no match for me in kick-boxing.

We all complain about reposts, but do you know where new jokes come from?

A dad joke meets a yo mama joke... and then they screw in a lightbulb.

Complex numbers are all fun and games...

Until someone loses an i. That's when things get real.

Why can't you compare millionaires Tim Cook and donald trump?

Apples and oranges.

Why did the computer technician get kicked out of the army?

He had troubleshooting.

There was a competition to find who could last the longest without m**....

I came first.

You cannot compare Steve Jobs with Donald Trump.

Apples vs. oranges.

What company doesn't like people who get erections often?

Ubisoft

Got the best compliment from my doctor today

He said I had athlete's foot. I've only been training for 3 days so didn't think anyone would notice

There was company that sold s**... toys to aliens.

It was SpaceXXX.

Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today...

They left a little note that said, "Parking Fine".

Someone complimented my parking today!

They left a little note that said "parking fine".

My Ex and i weren't compatible,

i'm an Aquarius and she was a b**....

I have just completed writing a book on reverse psychology.

Please don't buy it.

How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

A company made toy Titanics, but they weren't meant to be used in bathtubs.

They were made for the sink.

A Computer Science student at MIT showed up at his buddies dorm room with a new bike.

His buddy said sweet bike, where'd ya get it?
You'll never believe this, he said, I was walking across campus and this beautiful blonde on a bike stopped, threw down her bike, tore off all her clothes and said _take whatever you want!_
His buddy stared at him blankly for a minute, then said smart. Her clothes would have never fit you.

They should completely decriminalize w**....

Those who disagree should get s**....

A company owner was asked a question,

How do you motivate your employees to be so punctual?"
He smiled & replied, "It's simple. I have 30 employees and 29 free parking spaces. One is paid parking."

Is it okay to compare a man getting the snip with a woman getting her tubes tied?

After all, there isn't a vas deferens between the two o**...

I completely misunderstood pride month...

Who wants to buy 15 lions?

Completely misunderstood pride month.

Does anyone want to buy 15 lions?

Comp joke, Completely misunderstood pride month.

jokes about comp

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these comp jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.