Commute Jokes

Following is our collection of exchange puns and retirement one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Commute jokes for adults, dirty devote jokes and clean carpool dad gags for kids.

The Best Commute Puns

Everyone is talking about how the inaugural attendance was 1/40 of what it was in 2009...

They don't understand how killer the commute from Moscow is.

Me: Boss, I'm sorry I am late. I was having computer issues.

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It was my computer.

how does trump commute to work each day?

by walking the fascist way possible!

According to a recent medical study, masturbation helps to ease congestion.

The traffic cops on my afternoon commute did not agree, however.

Me: I am sorry I am late. I was having computer issues.

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.


Did you hear about the bomb blast in Pakistan?

Apparently the terrorists were tired of the commute and wanted to work from home for a while

Did you hear about the magician's commute from work

When he got home, he turned into his driveway!

daily commute

I'm not sure if people don't sit next to me on the train because I'm black, or because I look Muslim. It's a win for me either way.

Why couldn't the physicist get the Standard Model to work?

Because it wouldn't commute!

Which baseball player has the shortest commute?

The catcher, he only works from home.

What did the robot say to his wife when she asked him to take the bus to work?

DOES NOT COMMUTE!


Why is it impossible to hastily commute whilst abstaining from ingesting food or beverage and surrounded by foes?

Because you cannot fast travel when enemies are nearby

How do people with injured hands commute to work?

Carpool tunnels

I got fired from work today.

Trebuchets have really come a long way, and it beats the typical 30-minute commute from my work to home.

Why does Torque live on campus?

Because cross products don't commute!

I was running late this morning to I took my weet box to eat on my commute to work. In my tired state I hopped on the wrong bus which instead of taking me to work went hurtling through space.

I accidentally had gotten on the Universal Cereal Bus.

I share a commute with three friends.

Every weekday for the last 15 years I've driven into the city, taking the road that goes under the river.

Now the doctor says I have Carpool Tunnel Syndrome.

Why do the Heisenberg operators for position and momentum work from home?

Because they won't commute.

There is an abundance of tyred jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes and commute puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any everyday witze you can hear about commute.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes