Community Service Jokes
19 community service jokes and hilarious community service puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about community service that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Community Service Short Jokes
Short community service jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The community service humour may include short community jokes also.
- Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charge dropped... I hope he isnt beating himself up over this
- I've been issued Community Service.. I was assigned the Recycling Program . I figured I'd start here since there's a lot of reused content which would reduce my searching.
- Tourist in America I was going to take my wife to visit all the sites where they protested the police shooting of innocent black men. But i've only got 6 months...plus community service.
- I wanna do some community service this Thanksgiving... So I'm gonna go to the Indian reservations and hand out blankets
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Community Service One Liners
Which community service one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with community service? I can suggest the ones about social work and customer service.
- What do criminal courts in Spain call community service? Manuel labor
Heartwarming Community Service Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about community service you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean social justice jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make community service pranks.
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They're disgusted by his haircut, tattoos, and piercings. Later, when he leaves, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."
"Oh, please, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.
They're appalled by his haircut, tattoos and piercings.
The boy leaves and the girl's mom remarks, Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy.
* Oh, come on Mom! If he wasn't nice, would he be doing 300 hours of community service? *
A man's dog dies
A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time.
The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying "Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"
Father Patrick told the grief stricken man "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."
The old fellow said "I'll go right now. Thank you Father...By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick replied
"Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."
He's a good boy.
A teenage girl is having a heated argument with her mother about her boyfriend, whom the mother does not like at all. "You can ground me, you can take my cell phone, but I am still seeing Roger". "I don't think he's any good" said mom. "He is too a good boy, why else would he be doing 200 hours of community service?".
True story
Son: I got my college acceptance letter, and they're giving me a $3,000 scholarship!
Mom: You did? What for?
Son: Community service!
Mom: Do they know a judge told you that you had to do it?
I called my boss this morning and said
"I'm not coming in today, I've got the squirts."
He said, "I'm fed up with this, it's the same time every week!"
I said, "I can't help it, my wife has community service on Tuesdays and we can't find a babysitter."
Grandpas joke: Ellen's church recognition
Ellen was very involved with her church and community projects. So much so, the paster decided to recognize her efforts during Sunday service.
Paster Davis: I'd like to take a moment to recognize Ellen for her hard work and contributions. Ellen come up here and take a bow.
Ellen smiles and bows.
Paster Davis: to reward your efforts, why don't you pick out the next 3 hymns.
Ellen points into the crowd "I'll take him, him, and him"
Did you hear the judge's recent linguistic faux pas, when they were addressing a recently convicted defendant?
I Order you to serve 2 years incarcerated, 2 years active probation, 1 year of passive probation, 400 hours of community service, evidence of completion of an education service approved by the court, submit to a mental health evaluation..., etc., etc..
Yeah, it was a run-on sentence.
3 Ducks Sitting at a Courthouse
The Judge calls up the first duck
Judge: "state your name and your offense."
Duck 1: "My name is Quack and I blew bubbles at the pond."
Judge: "okay 1 week community service and off you go."
Judge calls up the second duck
Judge: "State your name and your offense."
Duck 2: "My name is Quack Quack and I blew bubbles at the pond."
Judge: "okay, same sentence. Now, off you go."
Judge calls up the third duck
Judge: "Dont tell me your name is Quack Quack Quack and you blew bubbles at the pond too"
Duck 3: "Nope! My name is Bubbles."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Jewish congregation...
in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.
When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, n**..., lying on the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the president of the board arranged for you."
The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this."
The girl gets up and starts to get dressed.
The Rabbi turns to her and says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
a young man goes to confession
the priest asked " do you have any sins to confess?"
" yes father, i've had carnal knowledge of a young lady."
the priest shakes his head " was it molly watson? i've seen how short her skirts are."
" i can't tell you father."
" was it the smith girl? i've seen how low her tops are cut."
"was it the jones girl? she always seems to be looking at boys."
" i really can't tell you father."
" alright, say 100 hail marys and 200 our fathers and come by every week next week for community service."
the young man meets a friend outside, who asked" well, what'd you get?"
the young man smiles...." 3 GOOD LEADS!"
Free Haircuts
One day, a florist went to a barber shop to get his hair cut. After the barber was finished, the florist went to pay, but the barber said, "No, this one's on the house, I'm doing the community a service this week and giving free haircuts." The next morning, the barber comes to work to find a handwritten thank you note from the florist along with a dozen roses. Later, a policeman came into get his hair cut. When the officer went to pay, the barber once again refused payment. The next morning, the barber came to work to find another thank you note along with a dozen donuts. That afternoon, a congressman came to get a haircut. Again, when the congressman attempted to pay, the barber told him there would be no charge. The following day, the barber once again arrived to a surprise at work. This time a dozen congressmen had lined up to get their free haircuts.
A gay man goes to church.
So a wealthy gay man living up life in the big city decides it's time for some quiet living. He moves to a small rural community where he hopes to make some friends and enjoy the clean country air. Figuring the best way to meet the neighbors was at the local church, he decides to attend services and get to know his neighbors. The church was a quaint little white building made entirely of wood. He felt out of place in a brand new Armani suit while everyone else was wearing suits that were at least a decade old from the look of them, and most likely handed down. During the service, he was moved by the preachers retelling of the prodigal son returned, and realized that the community he was now living in was more than just rural but poor as well. When the collection plate started to come around, he was amazed that only a few bills and some change were in it by the time it got to him. He silently took out his bill fold which had over a thousand dollars and put it all in the basket. When the basket was returned, up front, the pastor saw the huge bill fold and then cried out, "Will the person who made such a great donation please rise and select three hymns?" The gay man jumped up, pointed at three strapping young men and said, "I'll take him, him, and him."