Community Jokes

Following is our collection of rightfully puns and volunteer one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Community jokes for adults, dirty council jokes and clean community service dad gags for kids.

The Best Community Puns

My BDSM community took me to court for not being hardcore enough. I got off with just a slap on the wrist.

So I lost the case.

Why is everyone criticising EA?

I've only ever known EA as an excellent video game company and pioneer of the early home computer games industry. EA has always had my enjoyment as their primary concern and their community involvement is phenomenal.

($50 has been deposited into your Paypal account, remember to delete this part of the message before posting it).

One man in the crowd then yelled

Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?

Jussie smollet had to pay 10,000 to chicago and do community service to get his charges dropped...

I hope he isnt beating himself up over this

Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other

Retards


In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

Why can't you argue with the LGBT community?

Because they're not thinking straight.

Two nuns are biking back to their convent

after a long day out nunning about in the community.

They take a different route than normal, and after a while, one says to the other: "You know, I've never come this way before."

The other replies: "Yes, it must be the cobblestones"

A photon checks into a hotel.

The bellhop says "can I take your bags?"

"No," she answers, "I'm traveling light."

*(I'm new to the community, this is best I've got, I'm sorry)*

First Stephen Hawking, now Avicii?

Tough year for the Electronic community.

I was arguing with a flat Earth believer

We argued about how many members the flat Earth community had. He said "We have members all around the globe".


Did you hear the one about the LGBTQ2S+ community?

They're working together to build the perfect password

What do you call a poor Italian community?

a spaghetto.

I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...

Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax

Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave

However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave

Trump used to love the LGBTQ community...

Until he found out it doesn't stand for "Loans Given By The Qataris"

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

The most toxic substances known to mankind.

1. Arsenic
2. Cyanide
3. Polonium
4. Mercury
5. The League of Legends community

It's flu season and I just saw 3 homeless people caring for each other.

They were giving each other flu shots under the overpass. What a caring community we live in God Bless.

KKK Pastor

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."

No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."


A man's dog dies

A fine elderly Catholic gentleman lived alone in Southwest Florida in an upscale gated community except for his beloved dog that he had for a long time.


The dog finally died and the gent went to the parish priest, saying "Father, my dear dog is dead. Could you possibly be saying a Mass for the poor creature?"


Father Patrick told the grief stricken man "No, we can't have services for an animal in the church, but I'll tell you what, there's a Baptist church down the road, and no telling what they believe in, but maybe they'll do something for the animal."


The old fellow said "I'll go right now. Thank you Father...By the way, do you think $50,000 is enough to donate for the service?"


Father Patrick replied
"Why didn't you tell me the dog was Catholic."

A priest is doing some community work downtown...

...when he is propositioned by a hooker.
"Hey Father, I'll give the best blow job of your life for $10."
Confused, the priest replies "No thank you, my dear."
Later, back at the church, he approaches one of the nuns.
"Sister, this is kind of embarrassing, but what's a blow job?"
"Oh, you know," says the nun, "$10, same as downtown."

Trump Supporters are demanding to join the LGBTQ+ community.

They say they identify as Non-Bidenary

He's a good boy.

A teenage girl is having a heated argument with her mother about her boyfriend, whom the mother does not like at all. "You can ground me, you can take my cell phone, but I am still seeing Roger". "I don't think he's any good" said mom. "He is too a good boy, why else would he be doing 200 hours of community service?".

I'm having second thoughts about booking time to visit an Indian community.

I guess I'm having reservation reservation reservations.

The mailman

A mailman gets a new route in a rural community. Walking up to a isolated little farmhouse, he sees a woman out back getting hammered by a goat.

He looks at the kid sitting on the porch, and asks him "Hey kid, doesn't it bother you, what your mom's doing back there?"

The kid looks at him and says "NAAAAAAA!"

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."

I told my dentist to make my teeth whiter..

so he named them Logan and moved them to a gated community.

Did you hear about the teen suicide figures throughout the Muslim community?

It's exploded in the past few years

How did the medical community come up with the term "PMS"?

"Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.

A hole was discovered in the fence of a nudist community.

Police are looking into it.

Why do quantum computers make terrible community leaders?

Because you can never be sure of their true values.

The Flat Earth Community

has supporters all around the globe.

A man came to my door today, and asked if I would donate to building the community pool

So I gave him a glass of water

All cars support LGBT community.

Afterall, they all have a trans mission.

Once upon a time

...there was a Chieftain who presided over a community that lived in the steppe, where everything was grassland as far as the eye could see, and almost no trees grew. Because of its rarity, wood was prized, and this Chieftain happened to own a large, ornate chair made of wood that was his most priceless possession.

Now in this community it was c

Double positives

One day, during a lesson at the community college, the professor is explaining how a double negative will always be positive but a double positive can never be negative.

To which his student replies "yeah right"

Why are rainbows used as a symbol to represent the gay community?

Because they're not straight.

If you were to second guess your decision on booking a trip to a Native American community...

That would be a reservation reservation reservation!

What do you call an ant that's been shunned by his community?

Socially dist-ant

I'd like to give a shout out to protons-

for keeping our community positive.

I told my ex to join the anti-vax community.

Clearly, he needs to be surrounding by other people who don't last long.

There was a pedophile being sought out by the community...

Apparently saying "somebody please think of the children" was the wrong thing to say.

Donations

Son: "Dad, there is someone at the door to collect donations
for a community swimming pool."
Father: "Okay, give him a glass of water."

Generation Z is best known for being hard-working

...within the Minecraft community.

In honor of Leif Erikson Day...

Leif Erikson returned to his village after many years sailing the ocean and discovering new lands. When he arrived home, he noticed his name was no longer in the town records. Puzzled, he visited the census-taker to inquire about the error.

"I've been a dedicated member of this community for many years. Why am I not on the town list?" he asked.

"I'm sorry about the mistake, Mr. Erikson," replied the clerk, "I must've taken Leif off my census!"

What do you call an Optomitrist who is very highly thought of in his community?

Respectacle

Altoids has begun marketing to the LGBT community.

Their new mints are bi-curiously strong.

What's the difference between a Tupperware store and the gay male community?

In a Tupperware store, there's an equal number of tops and bottoms

What's the difference between a blonde and a community college

Well, they are both pretty easy to get into, but I don't have 3 community colleges under my basement. That would be ridiculous.

What street in Paris is well-known for its transvestite community?

The Rue Paul.

An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast ...

An Atheist tourist was walking around Belfast and noticed all the community centre events for either Catholics or Protestants. After checking out yet another board, he asked a staff member:

Atheist: "What do you do in this town if you're an Atheist?"

Staff member: "Well sir, that depends on whether you're a Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist."

What's in the canister?

The R6 Community

Why didn't the comedian make a tree joke?

He wood have, but he decided to leaf it to other branches of the community.

Through voting, users determine what posts rise to the top of community pages and, by extension, the public home page of the site

...until the mods wake up.

Unfortunate sign in discount warehouse near a retirement community:

Shop till you drop!

There is an abundance of neighbourhood jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 55 funniest jokes and community puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any collective witze you can hear about community.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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