Communist Party Jokes
36 communist party jokes and hilarious communist party puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about communist party that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Communist Party Short Jokes
Short communist party jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The communist party humour may include short communist jokes also.
- Say what you like about China... [This post has been removed by the Communist Party of China (CPC) of the People's Republic of China at the discretion of General Xi Jinping]
- There were two types of people in the Soviet Union People who supported the Communist Party and dead people.
- What do you get when 2 leftists get together? 3 political parties: one Communist, one Socialist, and a third founded in an attempt to merge the first two.
- What do you call it when Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin get together for a drink? A communist party
- The Communist Party changed things so that China uses single time zone. It's always Party time.
- China's Communist Party is starting a militia wing They're training their members to be good Marxmen
- What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years? Soviet Reunion
Terrible and painful, I know. - Why weren't the communists allowed to live in the dorms? Because there are no parties after 11:00.
- Why do they only serve herbal tea at Communist Party meetings? Because property is theft.
(i know it's an oldie but I've never seen it here)
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Communist Party One Liners
Which communist party one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with communist party? I can suggest the ones about communist russia and communist cat.
- Tommy Wiseau walks into Communist Party HQ Oh hai Marx
- Yesterday we had a communist party... We enjoyed it to the marx.
- Who is the leader of the Kitty Communist Party? Chairman Meow
- What do you call a political convention in a Soviet state? A communist party
- Hello? Is the Communist Party here? Delete my subscription. I just won the lottery.
- Why does the communist party hate planes? Because they're always Stalin
The Funniest Communist Party Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What funny jokes about communist party you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean political party jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make communist party pranks.
In USSR we had this joke
An old Jew is on his deathbed. With weak voice he asks to call for a partorg because before his death he wants to join the Communist Party. A happy partorg rushes to him with filled out membership form to sign and a ready Party membership card. As the Jew signs the form he carefully takes the membership card and presses it against his heart.
In a peaceful and happy voice he whispers: "Today one more communist will die"
A joke I heard while working in China a few years ago
A Chinese state-owned container ship is highjacked by pirates. A Chinese Communist Party official is sent to negotiate.
The pirates' leader, waving his gun, shouted: the ransom is TEN MILLION dollars! Or everyone on the ship will die!
The official responded, calmly: I will give you twenty million, but you'll write me a receipt of forty million.
So I went on a date with this girl last night
Things were going well, so we ended up back at her place. Then things started going REALLY well, and we ended up in her bedroom. I looked around and saw that she had a king sized bed with Communist Party sheets.
Now that's a big red flag.
A Soviet official is visiting a mental asylum
To prepare for the visit, the asylum trained the patients to sing "Glory to the Communist Party".
When the official arrives, everyone is singing their hearts out. The official is very pleased, however, he notices a woman not singing.
The official approaches the woman and asks: "why aren't you singing?"
The woman replies: "I'm a nurse, not a patient"
Old soviet man is lying on his deathbed...
...as his end is nearing, he surprises everyone by inviting communist party secretary instead of priest, saying he wants to join the communist party before he dies.
"Why did you invite me here? Your whole life you didn't want to join, what changed your mind now?" wonders the communist official.
Old man replies: "If someone has to die, it must be a communist!"
Soviet Economics
1980s. Soviet Economy minister is making speech at Communist Party session:
- According to latest statistics, our incomes rose 20%, our quality of life rose 30% and our buying economic power rose 40%
From the audience: That's great that YOURS did, but what about OURS??
A Communist Party Bureaucrat drives down to a collective farm to register a potato harvest
"Comrade farmer, how has the harvest been this year?" the official asks.
"Oh, by the grace of God we have had mountains of potatoes", answers the farmer.
"But there is no God" counters the official.
"Huh", says the farmer, "And there are no mountains of potatoes either"
During the communist rule
in the USSR a big assembly was held and members of the communist party were giving speeches to the general public. The highest ranking official was making his speech and he proclaimed "soon we will live even better!". This was followed by a voice from the audience "and what about us?!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Communist Party centenary live:
**China has never 'oppressed' another country and never will, Xi says**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Life hacks from Secretary Stalin, don't dress for the job you want. Use the job you have to create a totalitarian dictatorship to crush your enemies.
*this joke exists because I found out Stalin's title during his reign was Secretary. During the power struggles his opponents wanted to give him a menial job to side line him. But he realized he controlled who got invitations to meeting, what was on the agenda, and when they should happen. Leading to his total d**... of the communist party as a dictator.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't know how the Chinese fell for Mao and the communist party
I mean, there were a freakin ton of red flags.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do frat boys and communists have in common?
They like to party, they don't believe in class, but some how they get good Marx.
Different ethnic groups in the USSR have a meeting.
Each group has a representative, who must talk about what it is like living in the soviet union (and praise lenin and communism along the way if they don't want to get killed).
The Chukchi people live in Siberia, and haven't had it so great under soviet rule. Their representative begins to speak.
"After the revolution, in 1922 when the soviet union was formed, we had 1 feeling: cold."
"A few years later, we began to have another feeling: hunger."
This raised some eyebrows.
"And now we have 3 feelings: cold, hunger, and a great appreciation for the communist party."
At a party meeting, a Communist party officer is drilling a local worker....
He asks him: Comrade, if you had two houses, would you give one to the Communist Party?
The worker responds Yes, definitely, comrade, I would give one of my houses to the party!
Then he asks Comrade, if you had two cars, would you give one to the party?
Again, the worker says, Yes, I would give one of my cars to the party!
Finally, the officer asks, If you had two shirts, would you give one to the party?
Nyet!
The officer asks But why? Why won't you give one of your shirts to the party?
The worker says: Because I HAVE two shirts!
A Russian couple walks down a street in Moscow when the man feels a drop hit his nose.
"I think it's raining," he says to his wife.
"No, that feels like snow to me, dear," she replies.
Just then, a minor communist party official walks towards them.
"Let's not fight about it," the man says. "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing."
"It's raining, of course" Comrade Rudolph says and walks on.
But the woman insists, "I know that felt like snow."
To which the man quietly says, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
An American and a Russian freeze themselves for a 100 years
....taking a bet whose country will be doing better in the future. So they enter the cryo chamber and go to sleep. When they wake up, they buy a newspaper. The Russian takes it and as he reads the headline, he starts smiling.
"The communist party wins the U.S. Elections for the fifth time in a row"
Furious, the American grabs the paper and skims through. Suddenly he starts laughing, so the Russian asks "what could you find? I obviously won!"
The American hands him the paper and points to an article which reads
"Repeated conflicts on the Chinese-Polish border"