The Best 60 Communism Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Communism jokes. There are some communism capitalist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these communism stalin puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Communism Jokes and Puns
We should've known communism would fail.
There were a lot of red flags.
Stalin, Kruschev, and Brezhnev are riding a train when it suddenly grinds to a halt.
Stalin says, "I know what to do. We shoot the conductor, the ticket collector, and ten passengers at random. Then the train will run again."
"No, I have a better idea," says Kruchev. "We tell everyone on the train that true communism is just around the corner! Then the train will run again."
"Tovarishi, you're trying too hard," Brezhnev cuts in. "We simply close the curtains, lean back and have a vodka, and *pretend* the train is running!"
I heard this joke from a foreign tour woman of a museum of Communism in Russia...
[Apparently this was a real joke told by anti-communist citizens when Stalin was dictator of the Soviet Union]
Have you tried Stalin bacon before?
*I'm not sure.. I don't think so...*
Well, I know for certain that you haven't - the pig's not dead yet.
What's the difference between communism and capitalism?
In the former, man exploits man, in the latter, it's exactly the opposite.
Two nudists are sitting on the porch
Two older nudist men are sitting on the porch, having a discussion about communism. One man turns and says, "Have you read Marx?"
The other man replies, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."
We should've known about the failure of communism
In retrospect, there were a lot of red flags...
They really should have predicted the fall of Communism sooner.
After all, there were plenty of red flags.
Old Soviet Joke
Little Boy: What will Communism be like when perfected?
His Father: Everyone will have what he needs.
Little Boy: But what if there is a shortage of meat?
His Father: There will be a sign in the butcher shop saying, "No one needs meat today."
Communist Nudists
These two guys were sitting outside at a nudist colony. After talking for a while, they discovered they were both believers in Communism.
The first one said to the other
"You seem very familiar with this. Have you read Marx?"
To which the second replied, "Yes, and I think it's from sitting in these wicker chairs!"
"If my country starts to veer towards communism"...
"Then Soviet"
I used to go to communism classes.
I never really got good Marx.
You can explore communism soviet reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean communism ussr dad jokes. There are also communism puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
In high school, I presented a project on communism
I thought I would get terrible marx for stalin but the teacher was pretty leninent.
Your Momma is like Communism
no class
Your mom is like Communism.
No class and everybody shares her.
Socialism or Communism are the only path to evolution, and Capitalism is the root of all evil.
> Sent from my iPhone 7
I was forced to drop out of communism class...
I wasn't Lenin anything, my grades were Stalin, and my Marx were terrible!
I wrote a poem about communism for my English class
I had to share it with everyone
Why doesn't communism work in a school enviroment?
Because everyone would get the same Marx.
Capitalism has many problems but communism only has 3
- Breakfast
- Lunch
- Dinner
(Original) What do Jesus Christ and Communism have in common?
They both fed 5,000 people with five loaves of bread and two fish.
My friend ask me for my thoughts on Communism
I told him, "I will not share."
Why didn't people get laid during Communism?
The State seized the means of **re**production
If communism doesn't work, why do so many people still support it?
They don't work either.
Why did everyone hate communism?
I'd give it full Marx
Why did it Take so long For Russia to abolish Communism?
The Leader was Stalin
What is communism?
- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- No!
- No? Why not?
- Because I *do* have 2 coats
Stalin should have known that Communism wouldn't work.
I mean, there were red flags everywhere.
Y'know, communism is definitely the best system of government.
Nowadays it costs one hundred dollars just to go camping for a night. In the Soviet Union you could go to camp forever, and it was free.
Veganism is like Communism
They are both fine, unless you like food
Its no wonder communism failed
there were so many red flags
Why did communism fail the exam?
Because it lost Marx.
Why is Communism one of the most ironic words?
It's Capitalized
Why should communism always be lower case?
So that it's not capitalized
I did really well on my essay about communism.
People think they're funny by asking "did you get high Marx?" Actually, I did well because I approached the topic from all Engels.
We should've known communism was doomed to fall.
There were a lot of red flags.
It was obvious that Communism would fail.
There were just so many red flags.
What does the F in Communism stand for
Food
Puns about communism aren't funny
Unless everyone gets them
Stalin should've known communism was a bad thing
There were red flags everywhere
How funny are jokes about communism?
Equally as funny as any other joke.
Lol just spent the last 3 hours kinda piecing this together, hope someone likes it.
[A LITTLE SPICY] Why is Communism better than Fascism?
In Fascism, minorities suffer and are discriminated, while in Communism, everyone suffers!
Communism doesn't work for me.
It works for us.
Communism is a System That Looks Pretty Great on Paper.
Unless of course, that paper makes up the pages of a History book.
A joke about Communism isn't funny...
...unless everyone gets it.
5 people that think communism is good walk into a bar...
The bartender says We don't serve alcohol to people under 18
I made a meme about communism
But then I realized that to be more accurate it should be called an usus instead of a meme
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
I didn't steal this joke. This is *OUR* joke.
communism jokes aren't funny
unless everyone gets it.
It's okay to make jokes about Communism
But only if everyone gets the joke.
A little son asks his father what a communism is...
...and the father starts explaining:
"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."
"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.
"Son, now you understand communism!"
Fact of the day: Stalin actually knew Communism won't work
There were red flags everywhere
Guys we should stop posting jokes about Communism.
It's wrong until everyone gets it.
Insert Russian anthem...
My girlfriend said she was going to leave me, since I was getting too much into communism,
I said-
"Soviet"
I took a communism test today.
I got full Marx
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them
Will anyone get this?
How did we know that Communism was bad from the start?
Because of all the red flags.
Jokes About Communism
are funny only if you share them with everyone.
Communism sounds good on paper...
..unless you're reading a history book.
It should be obvious to everyone that communism won't work.
I mean seriously, there were so many red flags.
There's only one occasion that Communism jokes are actually funny.
When everyone gets them.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the communism engels jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working communism perestroika piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.