The Best 17 Communion Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Communion jokes. There are some communion catholic jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these communion holey puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Communion Jokes and Puns


Food contamination scandal hits the church.

Communion wafers found to contain 0% Christ.

Here in California Catholics use non-fat, high fiber communion wafers.

They call them "I can't believe it's not Jesus"

Apparently they've come out with low-fat communion wafers

Yeah. They called it *I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus*.

Communion joke, Apparently they've come out with low-fat communion wafers

What did the body-building priest say after he was caught eating all the communion?

I was putting on Mass.

Christianity became a thing in Westeros. In communion, they say...

"What is bread may never rise"


I told my nephew to enjoy his first holy communion...

It might be the last time that Jesus is in his mouth unless he spends time in a Mexican prison.

What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

A communion wafer

Communion joke, What is less Kosher than a bacon wrapped shrimp?

You know how I know Jesus was white?

The communion wafer tastes like a Cracker.

Why did Timmy drink all the communion wine?

He wanted to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Anyone who thinks Jesus wasn't a white man has never been to communion

The body of Christ is a cracker.

Did you hear about the New Age Catholic Church? They've got an organic gluten-free Communion wafer ...

It's called I Can't Believe it's not Jesus!

You can explore communion jesus reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean communion methodist dad jokes. There are also communion puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do churches use wine for communion?

Because everyone's tired of shots

Have you heard there's a new low fat communion wafer?

I can't believe it's not Jesus!

Communion bread on Amazon is $13 for 2.3oz. At 7 packages per pound and assuming a middle eastern mans adult weight at ~140lbs, $12,740 buys you one Christ.

I got my kid baptized yesterday

Priest: Β Do you believe in the Holy Spirit and the holy Catholic church?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the communion of saints and the forgiveness of sins?

Me: I do.

Priest: Do you believe in the resurrection of the body andΒ life everlasting?

Me: I do

Priest: Do you hereby indemnify and hold harmless the Catholic church for any sexual misconduct to you and your family for ever and ever amen?

Me: I do--- wait! Hold on!

Priest: Too late! You said it!

My local church recently started offering gluten-free communion wafers....

They're called "I can't believe it's not Jesus"

Communion joke, My local church recently started offering gluten-free communion wafers....

When there is some wine leftover from communion, it doesn't get wasted...

The vicar does.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the communion wafer jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working communion christ piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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