The Best 67 Communi Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Communi jokes. There are some communi socialist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these communi geography puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Communi Jokes and Puns

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room.

In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry.
"I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!"
With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.
The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need."
With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts."
With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."

Yo mama is so stupid when you asked her to grab McDonald's she brings the building home.

Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex.



"Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom.

"Making a cake" his mom replies.

Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks.

"Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried.

"Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.

Communi joke

I hate the part of the conversation where the other person says things.

We should've known communism would fail.

There were a lot of red flags.


'What Will Communism Be Like?'- A Russian Joke

One day, as a young man, Ivan asked a member of the Party, "What will it be like once we have built communism?". The Party man replied, "The shops will be full of goods, and we will have no money". Four decades passed, and the Soviet Union fell. After the fall of the USSR, Ivan found himself walking the streets of Moscow. He looked at the shops, and he felt in his pockets, and smiled. "Comrades", he said, "We have built communism at last!"

Q: How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.

Communi joke, Q: How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Communist Nudists

These two guys were sitting outside at a nudist colony. After talking for a while, they discovered they were both believers in Communism.

The first one said to the other
"You seem very familiar with this. Have you read Marx?"

To which the second replied, "Yes, and I think it's from sitting in these wicker chairs!"

Why was the communist school not successful?

There were no classes

Communism and nude beaches have one thing in common

The idea sounds great unless you've actually been there.

I used to go to communism classes.

I never really got good Marx.

You can explore communi men reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean communi knock knock dad jokes. There are also communi puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why are Communists bad Java programmers?

They don't like classes.

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, we just sit in the dark complaining about capitalism.

But come the light-bulb revolution everything will be brighter.

A Communist, Socialist and Capitalist all agree to meet at a cafe.

The Communist and the Capitalist arrive on time but the Socialist is late.

A hour later, the Socialist rushes in.

'Sorry I'm late guys' he said, 'I had to wait in line for a sausage'.

'What's a line?' asked the Capitalist.

'What's a sausage?' asked the Communistο»Ώ

I think my cat's a communist...

He won't shut up about Mao

What do a communist and communism itself have in common?

Neither one works.

Communi joke, What do a communist and communism itself have in common?

Why don't communists ever learn?

Because there are no classes.

Why do Communists only write in lowercase?

Because they hate Capitalism.

Why doesn't communism work in a school enviroment?

Because everyone would get the same Marx.


Why did the communist fail his exam?

He didn't get full Marx

In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

A communist girl thought I was cute.

Next thing I know she seized my means of reproduction!

If communism doesn't work, why do so many people still support it?

They don't work either.

Why do Communists Type in Lowercase Letters

Because they are anti-capitalism

How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?

With a Nor-Ouija board.

How do you communicate with fish?

You drop them a line.

What is communism?

- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- No!
- No? Why not?
- Because I *do* have 2 coats

What do two communists have in common?

Everything

Why can communists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

A communist revolution seems a bit suspicious

I mean, they always raise a few red flags.

Why can't communists drive stick?

They keep Stalin the engine.

A communist joke often told by Ronald Reagan

Two Russian friends were taking a walk downtown during the height of the Soviet Union. The one looks around at his country and says "is this it? Have we achieved peak Communism?"

The other responds "oh, no my friend, it gets much worse."

Y'know, communism is definitely the best system of government.

Nowadays it costs one hundred dollars just to go camping for a night. In the Soviet Union you could go to camp forever, and it was free.

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

Say what you want about communism.

...and you'll probably get poisoned.

Its no wonder communism failed

there were so many red flags

Why did communism fail the exam?

Because it lost Marx.

Why is Communism one of the most ironic words?

It's Capitalized

Why should communism always be lower case?

So that it's not capitalized

Why can't Communists be programmers?

Because there is a hierarchy of classes, inheritance, and private properties

We should've known communism was doomed to fall.

There were a lot of red flags.

How Many Communists does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb?

Everybody.

What does the F in Communism stand for

Food

What did communists use for light before candles?

Electricity.

Communist jokes arent funny.

Unless everyone gets them.

What did the communist say when his van stopped working

I guess it's stalin

Communism doesn't work for me.

It works for us.

Why are communist jokes so good?

Everybody gets them

Communism is a System That Looks Pretty Great on Paper.

Unless of course, that paper makes up the pages of a History book.

What is a communist doing when he downloads something?

He is in*stalin*

Ok I'll leave.

Communist cars are unreliable.

They're always Stalin.

What did my communist girlfriend say when she grabbed my balls?

I'm seizing your means of production.

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.

I didn't steal this joke. This is *OUR* joke.

What did communists use before candles?

Electricity

communism jokes aren't funny

unless everyone gets it.

Why do communists hate schools?

Because schools have classes

Communists make the best snipers

They're natural Marx men.

Communist jokes don't work....

Unless everybody gets it.

I took a communism test today.

I got full Marx

Do you know why the communist takeover of russia lasted more than a year?

It took more than one revolution.

He said he was a communist.

I should've known darnit, there were red flags everywhere.

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them

Will anyone get this?

How did we know that Communism was bad from the start?

Because of all the red flags.

Why are communists always late to events?

Because they're Stallin'!

JK. It's cause they starved to death.

Communism sounds good on paper...

..unless you're reading a history book.

What is a communist grave called?

A maosoleum

What did communists use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the communi gay jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working communi sarcastic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes