Commotion Jokes

Following is our collection of mayhem puns and sudden one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Commotion jokes for adults, dirty nears jokes and clean runs dad gags for kids.

The Best Commotion Puns

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"

There once was a family of moles in their mole hole when one smelled something sweet...

The father mole stuck his head out of the mole hole and said "is that honey?" So the mother mole squeezed through the hole next to the father and smelled "that may be maple syrup! It smells so wonderful!" The baby mole, wanting to see what all the commotion was about, frustratingly couldn't fit between the father and mother mole. So he wailed " All I smell is molasses!"

Little Johnny puts a dot on the blackboard (NSFW)

The teacher in her first grade class asks her students to come to the chalkboard and draw something that causes a lot of excitement and commotion. Little Johnny comes up and simply puts a dot on the chalkboard. The teacher asks "what is that?" Little Johnny replies, "it's a period." The teacher says "why does it cause excitement and commotion?" Little Johnny says "it doesn't, but my sister said she missed one this morning and my mom fainted, my dad had a heart attack, and the guy next door shot himself"

"Don't jump!"

One day, a man decided he'd had enough of his life, and went to the balcony of the 30th floor of his office building. He stepped onto the ledge and shouted "I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna jump!"

A physics professor passing by heard the commotion and looked up. He shouted back to the man "Don't do it! Don't jump! You've got so much potential!"

Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

A pedestrian is walking past an insane asylum, and in the distance hears a bunch of the asylum inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

Intrigued, the pedestrian peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and, suddenly, a finger pops out jabbing him right in the eye.

He screams in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!


The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.

One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!

A man is walking besides the insane asylum

When he hears a commotion coming over the fence. The people inside the asylum are chanting

FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE...

He notices a small hole on the wall and curiously peeks inside to see what's going on.

Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick. And then he hears chanting

SIX, SIX, SIX...

A man goes for a walk...

and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye

"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"

A giant pickle walks into a bar..

and everyone in the bar starts wanting to take selfies with him and buy him drinks. Once all the commotion settles, the bartender asks him why everyone was surrounding him to which the pickle replies, "Well, I'm kind of a big dill"

Why aren't trains in the Cars universe?

Because they cause a low commotion.

Jack walked into a bar...

He sits down and orders a drink.

He sees familiar faces around the bar, like his good old friend Gerald.

He tried to get up from his seat, but he was stuck.

Gerald noticed the commotion and went to help.

Gerald helped his friend, Jack, off.


Fourth Grade Logic

A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson in logic.

"Here is the situation," she said. "A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion, knows he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?"

A girl raised her hand and asked,

"To draw out all his savings?"

A man walks by a mental hospital and hears a group of patients yelling 12! 12! 12!

A man walks by a mental hospital and hears a group of patients yelling 12! 12! 12! behind an old wooden fence. Curious about the commotion, the man walks up and peaks threw a hole in the fence to get a better view and gets poked in the eye. The group yells 13! 13! 13!

A boy walks into confession....

a short commotion later the lad limps back out

So a cannibalistic couple are try to decide what to have for supper one night...

When they hear a knocking at their front door. The husband opens the door where he sees a little boy crying. The kid then says, "Help me I'm lost, my name is Stuart and I live on 3rd street!" The wife hears the commotion and walks over to see what's going on, and the husband turns to her and says, " I guess we're having stew tonight."

There is an abundance of panic jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes and commotion puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any pandemonium witze you can hear about commotion.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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