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Commotion Jokes

23 commotion jokes and hilarious commotion puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about commotion that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Commotion Short Jokes

Short commotion jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The commotion humour may include short chaos jokes also.

  1. what's all this commotion in Israel? i don't know, the media is confusing. all I can tell is that the struggle isreal

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Commotion One Liners

Which commotion one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with commotion? I can suggest the ones about havoc and rowdy.

  1. What kind of noise does a train make? A low commotion.
  2. Why aren't trains in the Cars universe? Because they cause a low commotion.
  3. A boy walks into confession.... a short commotion later the lad limps back out

Commotion joke, A boy walks into confession....

Comical Commotion Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about commotion you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean noisy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make commotion pranks.

A Blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead are against a wall to be executed by a firing line.

Each is given an opportunity for last words. The Redhead is up first: she points and screams "Tornado!" Everyone freaks out and in the commotion she gets away. The Brunette is second and catches on the the plan: she points and screams "Tsunami," fleeing in the confusion. The Blonde has worked out a similar strategy and, on her turn, yells "FIRE!"

I finally caught her.

I jumped into a cab and asked the driver to follow my wife's car. From a safe distance, I saw her turn into the motel parking lot. I told the cabbie, "I'll pay you an extra $100 if you go in there and bring her out."
Without hesitating, he jumped out of the car and trotted to the motel. After a few minutes, during which I could hear a lot of commotion, he came back to the car, dragging a woman by the arm. "Hey, what gives?", I protested. "This isn't my wife!" "I know, she's mine. I'll be right back with yours."

There once was a family of moles in their mole hole when one smelled something sweet...

The father mole stuck his head out of the mole hole and said "is that honey?" So the mother mole squeezed through the hole next to the father and smelled "that may be maple syrup! It smells so wonderful!" The baby mole, wanting to see what all the commotion was about, frustratingly couldn't fit between the father and mother mole. So he wailed " All I smell is molasses!"

Last day for your taxes

A man walked into a restaurant with his young son. He gave the young boy 3 nickels to play with to keep him occupied.
Suddenly, the boy started choking, going blue in the face. The father realized the boy had swallowed the nickels and started slapping him on the back. The boy coughed up 2 of the nickels, but kept choking.
Looking at his son, the father panicked and shouted for help.
A well-dressed, attractive, and serious looking woman in a blue business suit was sitting at the coffee bar reading a
newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looked up, put her coffee cup down, neatly folded the newspaper and placed it on the counter, got up from her seat and made her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully dropped his pants, took hold of the boy's t**... and started to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulsed violently and coughed up the last nickel, which the woman deftly caught in her free hand.
Releasing the boy's t**..., the woman handed the nickel to the father and walked back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he was sure that his son had suffered no ill effects, the father rushed over to the woman and started thanking her saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor? "
No," the woman replied, "I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

"Don't jump!"

One day, a man decided he'd had enough of his life, and went to the balcony of the 30th floor of his office building. He stepped onto the ledge and shouted "I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna jump!"
A physics professor passing by heard the commotion and looked up. He shouted back to the man "Don't do it! Don't jump! You've got so much potential!"

The brunette, the redhead, and the blonde.

One day a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were set to be executed. They lined the three woman up in front of a firing squad. First, they brought the brunette up. Ready, aim. But just before they shoot she shouts "Earthquake!" and in the commotion she escapes. Once the chaos dies down they bring up the redhead. Ready, aim."Tornado!" and she escapes. Then they bring the blonde up. By that time the blonde has caught on. Ready aim, and she shouts "Fire"!

Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!

A pedestrian is walking past an insane asylum, and in the distance hears a bunch of the asylum inmates inside screaming at the top of their lungs, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!
Intrigued, the pedestrian peeks through a hole in the fence to see what all the commotion is about, and, suddenly, a finger pops out jabbing him right in the eye.
He screams in pain, and the inmates all start gleefully shouting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!

A man is walking besides the insane asylum

When he hears a commotion coming over the fence. The people inside the asylum are chanting
FIVE, FIVE, FIVE, FIVE...
He notices a small hole on the wall and curiously peeks inside to see what's going on.
Someone pokes him in the eye with a stick. And then he hears chanting
SIX, SIX, SIX...

I took my daughter to "Bring your child to workday."

As we were walking around, she started getting cranky and began crying. A group of my co-workers gathered around to see what the commotion was. I asked her what why she was crying.

She said: "Daddy, where are all the clowns you said you work with."

A man goes for a walk...

and as he walks he approaches the local mental institution, on the other side of the wall he can hear the patients chanting "3! 3! 3! 3!". His curiosity has been piqued by all the commotion coming from within so he decides to take a glimpse through a hole he sees in the wall, as he bends down and peers through the wall silence falls over the yard and a long stick gets shoved through the hole and pokes him in the eye
"4! 4! 4! 4! 4!"

A giant pickle walks into a bar..

and everyone in the bar starts wanting to take selfies with him and buy him drinks. Once all the commotion settles, the bartender asks him why everyone was surrounding him to which the pickle replies, "Well, I'm kind of a big dill"

Putin steps away from the war room to use the restroom...

As he sits he hears alarms and red flashes fill the bunker. He hears his men running around and without hesitation he jumps up, pulls up his pants and runs our to see what the commotion is.
He asks the next in command the situation: "ICBM Mr President!"
Putin replies "I WAS IN A HURRY, I DIDNT WIPE!"

Translated (badly) Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach...

Goulash is sitting and relaxing in the stomach, when suddenly a tequila falls in. He shrug it off and continue to relax, but after a while a r**... falls in and join them.
He do some smalltalk but in general isn't much interested, so he continue to relax on his own. Then v**... falls in and joins.
He clearly annoyed by all this commotion asks "what the h**... is going on up there?"
"You don't know? There is this huge party" says the v**....
"Yeah? I need to check it out." says the goulash as he starts climbing up.

There's only one mother.

Little Johnny got an assignment to write an essay for homework. The title of the essay: There's only one mother. He proceeded to write:
"When I came home from school, I stumbled over my dad that was passed out drunk in front of the door. I heard the commotion upstairs so I ran up to check. I found my mom in bed with our neighbor. Mom asked me to get two bottles of beer from the fridge. I went downstairs, opened the fridge and there was only one bottle, so I shouted "There's only one, mother!""

A Nigerian man.

*A Nigerian man fainted outside Mr. Biggs (an eatery). Soon a crowd gathered around him and someone suggested, Give him some water, it will help. Hearing this, the man opened one eye and said, Commot from here, if na water I wan drink, I for go faint for water board… (Translation: Get lost! If I needed water, I would faint in front of a water facility)

A man walks by a mental hospital and hears a group of patients yelling 12! 12! 12!

A man walks by a mental hospital and hears a group of patients yelling 12! 12! 12! behind an old wooden fence. Curious about the commotion, the man walks up and peaks threw a hole in the fence to get a better view and gets poked in the eye. The group yells 13! 13! 13!

Heaven is celebrating

A man was waiting at the Pearly Gates, when he noticed a commotion, suddenly a choir of angels start singing and the whole place is rejoicing.
What's going on? He asked.
Soon a man whose deeds and actions were greatly admired by God, will be joining us and we're anticipating the arrival of this great human, who did more to spread prayer and joy than any other!
Ah, yes, I had heard that the Pope died.
Who cares about a freaking Pope? I'm talking about Pele!