Common Sense Jokes
55 common sense jokes and hilarious common sense puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about common sense that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of funny, clean jokes about common sense! These jokes are sure to make you chuckle, and they might even teach you a thing or two about using your common sense!
Funniest Common Sense Short Jokes
Short common sense jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The common sense humour may include short wisdom jokes also.
- You know that tingly sensation you get when you like somebody? That's common sense leaving your body.
- Does anyone know what the movies titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people
- What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common? Their careers ended after seeing dead people.
- First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense. Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!
- In tech support, we get asked questions that seem like common sense. Today I told a guy "CTRL-P"... ...but he didn't make it to the bathroom.
- What do the bad parts of American history and common sense have in common? They are being wiped from existence.
- I don't understand why certain people don't get communist jokes All it takes is a little common sense.
- What does you call a person without 5 senses (hearing, smell, taste, feel, and hear)? A person without *common* sense.
- What do Star Wars and the Bible have in common? They each have a lot of books that are fine on their own, but once you put them together they start making a lot less sense.
- Common sense student Jokes Father to son: How did you write your exam?
.
Son: They had asked questions which I didn't know, so I wrote answer which they will not know
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Common Sense One Liners
Which common sense one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with common sense? I can suggest the ones about stating the obvious and makes sense.
- Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence.
- What is the fear of chainsaws called? Common sense
- What is the phobia of "getting married" called? Common sense.
- What do you call a phobia of machetes? Common sense
- What's another name for an irrational fear of clowns? Common sense.
- What do Mount Everest and The Sixth Sense have in common? They both have icy dead people.
- What do The Sixth Sense and Mount Everest have in common? Icy dead people!
- What is the scientific name for the fear of the chainsaws? Common sense.
- Common sense is like dial-up internet access It hasn't been used in years
- Common sense It is like deodorant. Those who need it the most don't have it.
- Common sense is like a plane. It goes over most people's heads.
- What do Canadians call a Kumon teacher in Japan? It's common-sense, eh?
- What is extremely rare but people think it's very common? Sense.
- What do you call a fear of deadly snakes? Common sense.
- Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
Uproarious Common Sense Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about common sense you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean logical reasoning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make common sense pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the NFL have in common with Brokeback Mountain?
The Cowboys s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I took a taxi home
As we welcome 2015, I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time, often on the way home after a "social session" with family or friends.
Well, last night, this happened to me. I was out for an evening with friends and had more than several beers followed by a couple of bottles of rather nice red wine and a few v**... shots. Although relaxed, I still had the common sense to know I was slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something I've never done before - I took a taxi home.
Sure enough on the way there was a police roadblock, but since it was a taxi they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident.
This was a real surprise to me, because I had never driven a taxi before. I don't know where I got it, and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it.
So, anyway, if you want to borrow it give me a call.
What has happened to common sense these days?
Its become nothing but pocket change.
New study shows some can drink bleach.
A new study shows that people who do not possess common sense instead possess the ability to drink bleach without effect. The name for this newly discovered ability is called "natural selection"
A father and son went on a camping trip
An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip.
They set-up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father : "Look up to the sky and tell me what you see?"
Son : "I see millions of stars."
Father : "And what does that tell you?"
Son : "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets."
Father slaps the son hard and says, "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent"
MORAL : Too much education can spoil or common sense.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do religions and gender have in common?
You hear about a new one every day and none of them make any sense.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man was fired from the mint for m**... near the coins.
He said it wasn't fair; there was no common sense.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to a doctor after being hit by a car...
Dr. : How did it happen?
Man: I was sunbathing when a female driver ran over me.
Dr. : I would say it's your fault. It's common sense not to sunbathe in the lawn when you know there are female drivers on the road.
Man: But doctor I was sunbathing on the roof!
My boss asked me if I had any common sense...
I told him that I have 5, but smelling and hearing im regretting right about now.
What do the Titanic and sixth sense have in common?
They both have that sinking feeling
(*Bu dum tss*)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How much money do people with no common sense have?
A penny and and no cents.
There are two type of people
Those who can use common sense to find out what the next part of the joke is
Obscure Phobias 41. What do you call the Fear of Power Tools?
Common Sense.
During a biology exam a student has to list three pros of breast milk.
He's unprepared, but starts looking for common sense answers and writes down:
- Contains all the nutrients a baby needs,
- Doesn't need heating,
But he still needs one more. And just as the time is about to run out, the student writes:
- Has great packaging.
I had a job offer in Newark, but I heard it's dangerous...
So I called a friend of a friend who lives there. He said, "It has a bad reputation, but if you use basic caution and common sense, it can be a fun, vibrant place to live."
I said, "Cool! By the way, what do you do there?"
He said, "I'm a tail gunner on a bread truck."
