Common Jokes

167 common jokes and hilarious common puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about common that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

From puns to parodies, discover the most common jokes told around the world. Learn how ubiquitous humor is among different societies, and be sure to know the differences between similar jokes from one culture to another. Explore why jokes get accused of bad common sense or common core math. Can jokes really cause a common cold? Find out in this article about the widespread prevalence of comedy.

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jokes about common

Best Short Common Jokes

Short common puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The common humour may include short usual jokes also.

  1. What do apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
  2. What do donald trump & the iPhone 7 have in common? They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
  3. What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common? White people looking both ways before they start
  4. What do fetuses, servicemen and gay people have in common in the US? The government stops caring about them once they're out.
  5. What do kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.
  6. You know that tingly sensation you get when you like somebody? That's common sense leaving your body.
  7. What do "I'm pregnant", "we're pregnant" and "she's pregnant" have in common? They all have *contractions*.
  8. What's the most common operation in a lego hospital? Plastic surgery.
    [Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]
  9. What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common? They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire
  10. What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get
Common joke, What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about common can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of common puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Common One Liners

Which common one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with common? I can suggest the ones about ordinary and general.

  1. What do Incel and excel have in common? Misinterpreting something as a date.
  2. What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common? A wet nose.
  3. What do a glass of water and an Atheist have in common? Jesus can make them both wine.
  4. What language is most commonly used in programming? Profanity.
  5. What does a church in Helsinki have in common with Mortal Kombat? Finnish Hymn!!
  6. What do all these Leonardo DiCaprio jokes have in common? They're all so childish..
  7. What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common? They both lost their vision
  8. What do men and women have in common? Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.
  9. What do you call a group of people with something in common, but hate each other? drivers
  10. What do nerds and racists have in common? They both aspire to be wizards.
  11. What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn o into an O .
  12. Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence.
  13. What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common? They both got rich off of Tesla.
  14. What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
  15. What do prison and the shift key have in common they both turn your "o" into an "O"

Things In Common Jokes

Here is a list of funny things in common jokes and even better things in common puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
  • What do men and Excel have in common? They're always automatically turning things into dates when they're not.
  • What do incel and Excel have in common? Both frequently assume that things are dates, even though they are not.
  • What do Michael Jackson and USA have in common? They both desperately wanted to be white. And the last great thing they did was a moon walk.
  • Jesus and me have one thing in common: more and more people stop beliveing in me
  • My dog and I have one thing in common. Neither one of us wants me to go to work.
  • Girls and square roots have one thing in common... If they are under 13, do 'em in your head.
  • All the women I have slept with have one thing in common They have incredibly low standards.
  • What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in
  • My crush and I have a lot in common One thing is that we both like her but none of us like me.

Common Sense Jokes

Here is a list of funny common sense jokes and even better common sense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people
  • What does titanic and the sixth sense have in common? Icy dead people
  • What do the movies The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common? Icy dead people
  • What is the fear of chainsaws called? Common sense
  • What's the name for a phobia of chainsaws? Common sense
    (my 9-year-old just came and shared that gem with me)
  • What is the Phobia for chainsaws called? Common sense
  • What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common? Their careers ended after seeing dead people.
  • What do you call the fear of chainsaws? Common Sense.
    I'll show myself out...
  • What is the phobia of "getting married" called? Common sense.
  • If 'trypanophobia' is the fear of needles, what is a phobia of chainsaws? "Common Sense"

Common Cold Jokes

Here is a list of funny common cold jokes and even better common cold puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one.
  • What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? Neither one can resist the urge to crack open a cold one .
  • What do a neckbeard and a cold beverage have in common? They get sweaty sitting at room temperature.
  • Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold? Because he is a bad influenza
  • What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? Every night they pop open a cold one.
  • What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? They both enjoy cracking open a cold one.
  • What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey
  • What do girls and cold fusion have in common? Science still doesn't understand either of them.
  • What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common? The cold never bothered them anyway......
  • What do a wife and an old car have in common? It's hard to get them to turn over on a cold morning

Common Core Jokes

Here is a list of funny common core jokes and even better common core puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What do science and deep fried food at the Texas State Fair have in common? At their core, both concepts ask if you could but not if you should
  • A school robotics team made an ultimate weapon, and needed ammo that makes everything fall apart. That's why they used common core standards.
  • Why do teachers always laugh at the new standards for teaching math? Because the real joke is always in the common core.
  • My daughter brought home a common core thesaurus from school today! Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible!
  • 9/8 of common core teaches bad math That's why 10/3 Americans cannot do fractions right
  • Why did Jeb lose support? He was always beating around the bush...
    Without getting to the (common) core!
  • So these kids are learning things from Common Core...
Common joke, So these kids are learning things from Common Core...

Heartwarming Common Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about common you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean average jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make common prank.

Me: Sometimes I hear a voice and I think it might be an evil spirit, should I be afraid?

**Therapist:** That's actually quite common, sometimes I hear a whiny b**... girly voice.
**Me:** What do you mean?
**Therapist:** There it goes again.

What does the US military and a f**... have in common?

Air Force

What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs.
I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !

I got a massage last week...

and it was the first time I had a guy masseuse. So we're like 10 minutes in I just had to ask, is getting an e**... normal? He said yes they are very common. And I was like, well can you get it out of my face...?

What does the letter K have in common with my cousins

They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together

Recent study has revealed that m**... might help curing the common cold.

Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..

What do a pregnant woman, a burnt pizza and frozen beer have in common?

A man who didn't take it out in time.

What do a woman and a grenade have in common?

Pull off the ring and the house is gone.

My wife came out to me after for horrible years of marriage and revealed she was a lesbian and that she wished she'd married another woman

Which finally gave us something in common.

What do hospitals and refrigerators have in common?

If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.

Erections happen all the time

A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."

What does the sun and cleavage have in common?

You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.

What do Kim Kardashian and Hurricane Sandy have in common?

They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.

What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?

They are both living off of dead beatles.

What do a gynocologist and a pizza boy have in common?

They can smell it but they cant eat it!

What do Americans and Putin have in common?

They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.

What do Taylor Swift and Charlie Sheen have in common?

Bad blood.

What do Spiderman and I have in common?

We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.

What do women's p**... and nail polish have in common?

What do women's p**... and nail polish have in common?
They both come off with alcohol.

What does a Chicago police officer and a professional skateboarder have in common?

They both shred footage.
(*be gentle, it's my first time.*)

What does a burnt pizza, a frozen beer and a pregnant girlfriend have in common?

One d**... who never pulls out in time

What do a pizza delivery boy and a gynecologist have in common?

Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.

What do South American governments and internal combustion engines have in common?

Both are measured in revolutions per minute.

What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common?

They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.

What does s**... and basketball have in common?

I'm too short to play

What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common?

They both contain high amounts of trans fats.

Neil Degrasse Tyson and Mike Tyson have something common...

I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.

What do the twin towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about.

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf h**... have in common?

Neither of them are musicians.

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

What does an iPhone 7 and The Titanic have in common?

The end has no Jack.

What does the MacBook have in common with Donald Trump?

I would tell you....
But I don't compare apples to oranges.

What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common?

What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common?
They both want to get there before the hair

What does a pregnant teenager and her baby have in common?

They both thought "my Mom's gonna kill me."

What do me and Mariah Carey have in common?

Neither of us know the words to any of her songs

What do a pregnant teen and her baby have in common?

Both of their moms are gonna kill 'em

What does a burnt pizza, a pregnant woman and a frozen beer all have in common?

You left it in too long.

What do s**... and pizza have in common?

It's not very good when you buy it from a gas station.

What do Little Miss Muffet and ISIS have in common?

They both have Kurds in their way

What do the NBA and a box of crayons have in common?

The w**... are useless.

What do Bill Cosby and Santa Claus have in common?

They don't come until you're asleep.

Daily Mail online: "m**... may help prevent the common cold."

Hope so, I've got no tissues left

What does the Quran have in common with w**...?

Burn it and you get s**...

What's a stalker and a Pokemon nerd got in common?

They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.

What do pregnant teenagers and their babies have in common?

They both think,"Oh god, my mom is going to kill me".

What do Apple and the NFL have in common?

The Chargers s**....

What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common?

They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.

What do two communists have in common?


What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common?

All their Walkers are dead

What do gun owners and vegans have in common?

They're both in your face about how they're not murderers.

What do alcoholics and chemists have in common?

They both view alcohol as a solution.
I'll see my self out......

What do Saudi Arabia and Canada have in common?

In both countries, it's legal to get s**....

What does a wife and a hand grenade have in common?

Remove the ring and your house is gone

What do dwarves and midgets have in common?

very little

What do a girlfriend and a forklift have in common ?

If you don't have one, you have to unload by hand

What do a tornado, a hurricane, and a r**... divorce have in common?

Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.

What do a hot potato and a thrown pig have in common?

One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.

I believe that it is time for all the world's countries to come together and create one universal currency

I mean it's just common cents

What do w**... and Walmart have in common?

We all make fun of them, but when we're inside one at 4am we're glad they're around.

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes
-mixing up there, their, and they're
-using the wrong too, to, or two
-putting commas in the wrong place
-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches
-using apostrophes for plurals

What do a ring, a baby, and a t**... have in common?

None of them are going to save your relationship.

Common joke, What do a ring, a baby, and a t**... have in common?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these common jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.