Following is our collection of accuse puns and frequent one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Common jokes for adults, dirty favourite jokes and clean caviar dad gags for kids.
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.
White people looking both ways before they start
They share the same middle name.
That's common sense leaving your body.
Plastic surgery.
[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]
None of them are going to save your relationship.
They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire
The higher they are, the more spaced out they get
They both want to get there before the hare does.
There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about.
They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
A wet nose.
They both like to crack open a cold one.
Jesus can make them both wine.
Finnish Hymn!!
Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.
Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...
They both lost their vision
They both slowly remove clogs.
I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !
and it was the first time I had a guy masseuse. So we're like 10 minutes in I just had to ask, is getting an erection normal? He said yes they are very common. And I was like, well can you get it out of my face...?
Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.
A man who didn't take it out in time.
I don't understand what either one is saying, but I know I'll end up seeing stars.
Air Force
One dumbass who never pulls out in time
The Cowboys suck.
*(I am a Dallas Cowboys fan, but I don't lack a sense of humor.)*
The Chargers suck.
They both hide in the bushes trying to get a Pikachu.
I mean it's just common cents
Remove the ring and your house is gone
Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..
I would tell you....
But I don't compare apples to oranges.
They both turn o into an O .
The whites are useless.
the other half is intelligence.
We all make fun of them, but when we're inside one at 4am we're glad they're around.
Neither of us know the words to any of her songs
Both of their moms are gonna kill 'em
They're both in your face about how they're not murderers.
They both shred footage.
(*be gentle, it's my first time.*)
If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult.
No *ball*room
they both turn your "o" into an "O"
They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America.
Icy dead people
Which finally gave us something in common.
Everything
**Therapist:** That's actually quite common, sometimes I hear a whiny bitchass girly voice.
**Me:** What do you mean?
**Therapist:** There it goes again.
They both thought "my Mom's gonna kill me."
They both view alcohol as a solution.
I'll see my self out......
We both end up with sticky hands after using the web.
Common English Mistakes
-mixing up there, their, and they're
-using the wrong too, to, or two
-putting commas in the wrong place
-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches
-using apostrophes for plurals
I'm too short to play
:(
You left it in too long.
They both have Kurds in their way
The end has no Jack.
very little
What do paedophiles and tortoises have in common?
They both want to get there before the hair
Neither of them are musicians.
If you pull the plug, the vegetables start to decompose.
Somebody's gonna lose their trailer.
All their Walkers are dead
They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
They both think,"Oh god, my mom is going to kill me".
They don't come until you're asleep.
What do women's panties and nail polish have in common?
They both come off with alcohol.
In both countries, it's legal to get stoned.
Always have to smell it, never get to eat it.
A man is about to get a prostate exam from his doctor. Before the doctor begins, he tells the man "I must tell you, during this type of examination, erections happen all the time. They are very common, and trust me, it's nothing to be embarrassed about."
The man seems a little uncomfortable, but the doctor continues, "Now a little less common, is you may get one too."
Burn it and you get stoned
It's not very good when you buy it from a gas station.
They will both blow the entire east coast just to get on TV.
Bad blood.
They are both living off of dead beatles.
Hope so, I've got no tissues left
They'll both be nuking Turkey after Thanksgiving.
If you don't have one, you have to unload by hand
They can smell it but they cant eat it!
Pull off the ring and the house is gone.
You can look at both for a second, but if want to stare you need to wear sunglasses.
Both are measured in revolutions per minute.
They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together
One is a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
I too find vegetables to be tastier if I roast them first.
There is an abundance of basic jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 87 funniest jokes and common puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any normal witze you can hear about common.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.