common Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious common puns

What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common?

I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.

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What do Donald Trump & the iPhone 7 have in common?

They both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs.

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What does a pregnant fourteen year old and the fetus inside her have in common?

They're both thinking, Shit, my mom is gonna kill me!

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What do Donald Trump and his father have in common?

They both have shitty judgment when it comes to pulling out.

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What does a racist joke and crossing the street have in common?

White people looking both ways before they start

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What do Kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common?

They share the same middle name.

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You know that tingly sensation you get when you like somebody?

That's common sense leaving your body.

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What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]

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What do hamsters and cigarettes have in common?

They're both perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire

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What do a cell phone and anal bleach have in common?

They both change your ring tone

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What do prime numbers and stoners have in common?

The higher they are, the more spaced out they get

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What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common?

They both want to get there before the hare does.

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What do vaginas and the mafia have in common?

One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit.

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What do the twin towers and genders have in common?

There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about.

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What do Green Eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common?

They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.

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What do tofu and a dildo have in common?

They're both meat substitutes

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What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common?

They both contain high amounts of trans fats.

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What do the mafia and a pussy have in common?

One slip of tongue, and you're in deep shit.

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What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common?

A wet nose.

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What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

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What do a glass of water and an Atheist have in common?

Jesus can make them both wine.

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What does a church in Helsinki have in common with Mortal Kombat?

Finnish Hymn!!

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What does wearing crocs and getting a blowjob from a man have in common?

They both feel good until you look down and realize you're gay.

TAKE THAT CROC LOBBY #againstbigcroc

I understand if I get downvoted.

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What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

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What does Superman and a Blood gang member who lost his gun have in common?

Neither one of them want to see a Kryptonite...

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What does my asshole and my Toyota have in common?

They're both leaking tranny fluid.

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What do boobs and Christmas trees have in common?

When you see really nice ones, you have to ask if they are real or fake.

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What does a pedophile and a turtle have in common?

They both wanna get there before the hare does.

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What do Harry Potter and Kermit the Frog's penis have in common?

Hogwarts.

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What does smoking a cigarette and eating a pussy have in common? [NSFW]

The flavor gets stronger as you get closer to the butt.

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What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common?

They both lost their vision

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What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?

They both like to pop open a nice cold one.

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What do a pulse and an orgasm have in common?

I don't care if she has one.

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What do liquid Draino and a Dutch stripper have in common?

They both slowly remove clogs.

I'll see myself out... Hey, at least it was original.
Thanks for the gold !

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I got a massage last week...

and it was the first time I had a guy masseuse. So we're like 10 minutes in I just had to ask, is getting an erection normal? He said yes they are very common. And I was like, well can you get it out of my face...?

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What are the most funny Common jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Common? Well, here are the best Common dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Common pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes