Common Jokes

Funniest Common Short Jokes

Short common jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The common humour may include short usual jokes also.

1. What do apple and Donald Trump have in common? I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
2. What do kermit the Frog and Henry the Eighth have in common? They share the same middle name.
3. You know that tingly sensation you get when you like somebody? That's common sense leaving your body.
4. What do "I'm pregnant", "we're pregnant" and "she's pregnant" have in common? They all have *contractions*.
5. What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get
6. What do Green eggs and Ham and Fifty Shades of Grey have in common? They both encourage people who can barely read to try new things.
7. What does Tumblr and KFC's chicken have in common? They both contain high amounts of trans fats.
8. What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one.
9. A JOKE MY DAD CAME UP WITH Since the united states has a nationwide coin shortage, does that mean we lack common cents?
10. What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common? They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

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Common One Liners

Which common one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with common? I can suggest the ones about ordinary and general.

1. What do Incel and excel have in common? Misinterpreting something as a date.
2. What's the most common operation in a lego hospital? Plastic surgery.
   [Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]
3. What do a dog and a nearsighted gynecologist have in common? A wet nose.
4. What language is most commonly used in programming? Profanity.
5. What does a church in Helsinki have in common with Mortal Kombat? Finnish Hymn!!
6. What do all these Leonardo DiCaprio jokes have in common? They're all so childish..
7. What do Daredevil and Scarlet Which have in common? They both lost their vision
8. What do men and women have in common? Both need some tissues after watching a good movie.
9. What do you call a group of people with something in common, but hate each other? drivers
10. What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common? They both turn o into an O .
11. Mathematics is 90% common sense, the other half is intelligence.
12. What do Elon Musk and Thomas Edison have in common? They both got rich off of Tesla.
13. What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
14. What do Christians and mice have in common? They both worship cheeses
15. What do two communists have in common? Everything

Things In Common Jokes

Here is a list of funny things in common jokes and even better things in common puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do men and Excel have in common? They're always automatically turning things into dates when they're not.
• Jesus and me have one thing in common: more and more people stop beliveing in me
• My dog and I have one thing in common. Neither one of us wants me to go to work.
• What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? When you're done with the breast and thighs, the only thing left is a greasy box to put your bone in
• My crush and I have a lot in common One thing is that we both like her but none of us like me.
• My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me I guess that's just one more thing she has in common with my wife.
• Water, Electricity and College students all have one thing in common... They all follow the path of least resistance
• Speed dating Her: I hate it when people get excited when they find out they have smallest thing in common.
  Me: Oh my God! Me too!
• What do your room and the Bermuda Triangle have in common? Things mysteriously disappear there.
• Jesus and Michelin Star chefs have one thing in common They can both feed 5,000 people with 2 loaves of bread and 5 fish

Common Sense Jokes

Here is a list of funny common sense jokes and even better common sense puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Does anyone know what the movies Titanic and The Sixth Sense have in common? Icy dead people
• What is the fear of chainsaws called? Common sense
• What do Logan Paul and the kid from The Sixth Sense have in common? Their careers ended after seeing dead people.
• What is the phobia of "getting married" called? Common sense.
• First, we bought toilet paper for a respiratory virus because we lack common sense. Now, we have a nationwide coin shortage, which means we lack common cents!
• What do you call a phobia of machetes? Common sense
• In tech support, we get asked questions that seem like common sense. Today I told a guy "CTRL-P"... ...but he didn't make it to the bathroom.
• What's another name for an irrational fear of clowns? Common sense.
• What do Mount Everest and The Sixth Sense have in common? They both have icy dead people.
• What do The Sixth Sense and Mount Everest have in common? Icy dead people!

Common Cold Jokes

Here is a list of funny common cold jokes and even better common cold puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do a neckbeard and a cold beverage have in common? They get sweaty sitting at room temperature.
• Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold? Because he is a bad influenza
• What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey
• What do girls and cold fusion have in common? Science still doesn't understand either of them.
• What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common? The cold never bothered them anyway......
• What do a wife and an old car have in common? It's hard to get them to turn over on a cold morning
• Funny joke What does an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?
  They both like to go home and pound cold ones.
• What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common? They're both cold and calculating.
• Why are simple jokes like a common cold? Because everyone gets it.
• What did the paraplegic track event and the Cold War have in common? They were both an arms race.

Common Core Jokes

Here is a list of funny common core jokes and even better common core puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do science and deep fried food at the Texas State Fair have in common? At their core, both concepts ask if you could but not if you should
• A school robotics team made an ultimate weapon, and needed ammo that makes everything fall apart. That's why they used common core standards.
• Why do teachers always laugh at the new standards for teaching math? Because the real joke is always in the common core.
• My daughter brought home a common core thesaurus from school today! Not only is it terrible, it's also terrible!
• 9/8 of common core teaches bad math That's why 10/3 Americans cannot do fractions right
• Why did Jeb lose support? He was always beating around the bush...
  Without getting to the (common) core!
• So these kids are learning things from Common Core...

Heartwarming Common Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about common you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean average jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make common pranks.