Common Cold Jokes

39 common cold jokes and hilarious common cold puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about common cold that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Common Cold Short Jokes

Short common cold jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The common cold humour may include short cold sore jokes also.

  1. What does a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one.
  2. What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? Neither one can resist the urge to crack open a cold one .
  3. What do a neckbeard and a cold beverage have in common? They get sweaty sitting at room temperature.
  4. What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? Every night they pop open a cold one.
  5. What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? They both enjoy cracking open a cold one.
  6. What do girls and cold fusion have in common? Science still doesn't understand either of them.
  7. What do a wife and an old car have in common? It's hard to get them to turn over on a cold morning
  8. Funny joke What does an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common?
    They both like to go home and pound cold ones.
  9. What does an Alaskan accountant and sociopath have in common? They're both cold and calculating.
  10. What did the paraplegic track event and the Cold War have in common? They were both an arms race.

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Common Cold One Liners

Which common cold one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with common cold? I can suggest the ones about winter cold and faster cold.

  1. Why didn't the other viruses hang out with The Common Cold? Because he is a bad influenza
  2. What do rehab and the days after Christmas have in common? Cold turkey
  3. What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common? The cold never bothered them anyway......
  4. Why are simple jokes like a common cold? Because everyone gets it.
  5. What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking.
  6. Genetically altered common cold virus spreads...
  7. My computer has a virus. It's called the common cold.
    It makes your computer freeze up.
  8. Study: m**... helps cure the common cold' Hope so, I've got no tissues left.

Quirky and Hilarious Common Cold Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about common cold you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cold feet jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make common cold pranks.

Recent study has revealed that m**... might help curing the common cold.

Well I hope it is true because I haven't got any more tissues left..

Daily Mail online: "m**... may help prevent the common cold."

Hope so, I've got no tissues left

The Cure for the Common Cold

It's called "The Whiskey and a Hat Trick"
All you need is a bottle of whiskey and a hat.
First, sit on your bed. Place the hat at the foot of the bed. Proceed to drink whiskey until you see two hats, then go to sleep.
If you do this your cold will be gone in just 7 days.
If you don't, it'll last a whole week.

Research suggests that m**... could help prevent the common cold.

It had better, I've run out of tissues

When a woman is in labor...

When a woman is in labor and the pain is so unbearable, it is the closest she comes to understanding what it is like to be a man with the common cold.

What's my grandma & my shower have in common?

They turn cold again a half hour after nonstop use.

What do having a cold and being transgender have in common?

Oftentimes, they both involving taking lots of T(ea)

What do I have in common with a necropheliac?

We both like to crack open a cold one when we get home.

What do my wife and a chest freezer have in common?

The exterior is hot, but its cold as ice inside.

Tom Jones visits the doctor…

Doctor: Mr Jones, you have the common cold!
Tom Jones: what do you mean by common?
Doctor: It's not unusual!

What do beers and babies have in common?

At the end of a long, hard day, nothing feels better than k**... back, relaxing, and cracking open a cold one.

Star Trek Enterprise's crew regularly visit this deck during for season's greetings.

Even in the cold expanse of space it is commonly understood that these are happly holodays.

What do leftover Thanksgiving dinner and overcoming an addiction have in common?

They both involve cold turkey.

What do high quality butter and necrophilia have in common?

They're both more popular if they spread when cold.

What do cold food, warm soda, and genocide have in common?

They all occur at family reunions.

jokes about common cold