Committee Jokes
75 committee jokes and hilarious committee puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about committee that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Expect plenty of laughs as we explore committee jokes! From jokes about steering committees to social committees to safety committees, each one is guaranteed to make you chuckle. We've thrown in some extra jokes about district chairman and corruption, too! Read on for a good time.
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Funniest Committee Short Jokes
Short committee jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The committee humour may include short conference jokes also.
- What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
- The Somalian Olympics team has just apologised The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologised to the Olympic Committee after realising that sailing and shooting were 2 separate events!!
- What do you get when you cross a cow and an octopus? A reprimand from the Scientific Ethics and Integrity Committee and an immediate withdrawal of your grant funding.
- What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and an Elephant? A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
- What do you get when you cross a cat and an octopus? A strong reprimand from the ethics committee and immediate recission of all funding.
- What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale? Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.
- What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion? A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.
- What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo? A sternly worded letter from the ethics committee and your funding revoked.
- What do you get when you cross a bat and a man? A ban. Specifically, a lifetime ban from the genetics labs, as well as a visit from the ethics committee.
- What do you get when you cross a cow with an octopus? A visit from the ethics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
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Committee One Liners
Which committee one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with committee? I can suggest the ones about jury and commission.
- What do you call a committee of emo kids? A cutting board
- What do you call a committee made up entirely of people named William? A Billboard.
- What do you call a group of forgetful congressmen? An oversight committee
- The House Intelligence Committee Shoot, I put the punchline in the title again!
- Horse committee is shutting down Too many neighsayers.
- FIFA Ethics Committee
- What's a Camel? A horse designed by committee.
- What do you call a group of Karens? A committee
- Why did the horse get kicked off the committee? He always voted "neigh".
- What do you call a group of federal budget makers? An add hock committee.
- A committee is twelve men doing the work of one.
- What's a camel? A horse made by committee.
- Dad: "Who do you think the committee s**... this year?"
Me: "Mom." - What do you call a group of congressmen and senators smoking p**...? A joint committee.
Olympic Committee Jokes
Here is a list of funny olympic committee jokes and even better olympic committee puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Somalis at the Olympics... The Somalian Olympic Committee issued an official apology earlier in the week, after realising that sailing and shooting are separate events.
- A German, Frenchman, and Pakistani walk into a bar "Jeez, we should lower the bar" the Olympic hurdle committee exclaimed.
- The Olympic committee wanted to name a celestial body after Oscar Pistorius. But they were denied since he is already a shooting star.
- Putin: "Russia did not meddle in 2016." International Olympic Committee: "You certainly won't in 2018."
- I've compiled an exposé of the undeniable evidence that the Rio2016 Olympics are the most corrupt ever *Post Removed due to copyright claim by the International Olympic Committee*
- The water quality is so poor in Brazil, the Olympic Committee decided to add a new event. The Defecathlon.
- Rumor has it that Caitlyn Jenner recently called the Olympic committee to report s**... harassment. Turns out she was getting fondled by a male track star for the last 50 years.
Committee Meeting Jokes
Here is a list of funny committee meeting jokes and even better committee meeting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee with a rhinoceros? A meeting with the ethics committee and swift removal of your research funding.
Howlingly Hilarious Committee Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about committee you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lobby jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make committee pranks.
TIL that curling used to be coed...
But the decision was made to segregate because the committee felt the female members had an unfair advantage, being naturally better sweepers.
What do you get when you cross a cat and a wild boar?
Revocation of your grant money and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee.
When Canada became independent, a committee was made to name the new country.
The three men included disagreed on all names brought up so far. Finally, they all decided to just say one letter that they could use to add together to make a name they all agreed on.
The first guy said "C, eh?"
The second guys went "N, eh?"
The last guy goes "D, eh?"
And that's how we got the name Canada.
Latest news from the FIFA corruption scandal:
Shock announcement from FIFA's Ethics Committee:
"FIFA has an Ethics Committee"
The Democratic National Committee
Democratic. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
A committee has narrowed the search for a name for the newly hypothesised 9th planet.
It's between Urpenis and Urvagina.
I tried donating to the itty-bitty t**... committee...
But they don't really need the support
A coworker just asked me if I was voted most likely to take a joke literally by my high school yearbook committee...
That wasn't even a real superlative. I swear, this guy...
An old soviet joke.
In a prison, two inmates are comparing notes. What did they arrest you for? asks the first. Was it a political or common crime? Of course it was political. I'm a plumber. They summoned me to the district Party committee to fix the sewage pipes. I looked and said, 'Hey, the entire system needs to be replaced.' So they gave me seven years.
As soon as the inauguration is over, I'm getting a position on Trump's ethics committee.
I'm not political, I just need some quite time alone.
Why was the flat-chested college senior so well respected?
Because she was the head of the Itty-Bitty-t**...-Committee.
(their influence and power knows no mounds)
What do get if you cross a Kangaroo with an Elephant?
A stern letter from the scientific ethics committee.
High command asked a new recruit:
"What do you want to be in the army?"
"Pilot!"
And they sent him to preparatory courses, but they did not like him and told him he would never become a pilot.
So he went to the committee again.
"Where do you want to be in the army?"
"Air defence!"
"Why?"
"If I can't be a pilot, no one else can!"
My dad hanged himself recently. We decided to set up a committee in his honour.
However, we thought it would be inappropriate to have a chair.
What do you get when you cross a shark and a giraffe?
A stern reprimand from the bioethics committee.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and an octopus?
A visit from the ehtics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funds.
What was the name of the political committee that worked to protect the rights of wine enthusiasts?
The Bacchus Caucus
What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus?
An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.
I can't believe all of those women voted yes to pass Kavanaugh out of the Judiciary committee.
Well, I mean they voted no, but to Republicans that means yes.
Foot Heads Arms Body
The army was deciding on how much weaponry should be provided to each unit and each soldier. For this, they set up a committee and the veteran General Samuel Foot was chosen to be the head of it.
The newspapers got wind of this and published it on the front page.
The headline was "Foot Heads Arms Body."
what do you get if you cross an octopus with a scorpion?
A freeze on your funding, and an immediate visit from the ethics committee.
My local neighbourhood committee leader lost his position recently
Needless to say he was dis-appointed
What do you get when you cross a hamster with a polar bear?
A loss of project funding and a stern telling off from the university ethics committee
There were two men in a prison in the USSR.
One asked the other: Why are you here?
The other answers: Political reasons.
He asks another question: What political reasons?
The other prisoner answers: I am a plumber, and I got called in to the party committee to fix their sink. And they asked what was the problem and I said: "The whole system is rotten, everything must be replaced!"
Committee, n.:
A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen
I held a committee against horses but it failed to pass through.
All of them were Neigh-sayers.
A great tragedy befalls the USSR
At a Central Committee meeting dozens of high ranking officials were accidentally killed, poisoned with toxic mushrooms in their soup.
The investigation team arrives at the scene. It was horrific, some had scratched their throats deeply, other lay with foam at they mouth or bloodshot eyes.
But the investigation teams discovers something interesting, three of the dead had gun shot wound to their heads.
"What happened here, we thought this was a poisoning?"
"It was, but these three refused to eat their soup."
What do you get when you cross an orca with a housecat?
An angry ethics committee and your grant revoked.
How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a lightbulb?
At least fifteen: One to change the bulb, and three committees to approve the change and to decide who is bringing the potato salad.
>!Dearest Moderators, the title may be a repost but the joke is not, I checked!!<
