The Best 19 Commission Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Commission jokes. There are some commission underway jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these commission investigation puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Commission Jokes and Puns
USPS releases a stamp with Trump's picture
The US Postal Services releases a stamp with a picture of President Trump. But the new stamp was not sticking to envelopes. This enraged the President, who demanded a full investigation.
After weeks of testing and $1.73 million in congressional spending, a special Presidential commission presented the following findings:
The stamp is in perfect order. There is nothing wrong with the adhesive. The fact is, people are spitting on the wrong side.
"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."
"10 kilograms you say?"
"Yeah, 5 kilograms"
The Mandalorian fell on hard times and had to take a job in a body building and health food shop. Turns out he was unexpectedly great at it and smashed the commission targets. He'd just direct people to the protein powder section, and say...
..."This is the whey"
(Sorry)
So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...
So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf Hitler... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"
English Weather
I just read something about weather in England:
The Archbishop of Canterbury and The Royal Commission for Political Correctness announced today that the climate in the UK should no longer be referred to as _'English Weather'._
In order to no longer offend a sizable portion of the UK population, it will now be referred to as _'Muslim Weather'_ -- partly Sunni, but mostly Shi'ite.
A Frenchman, a Jew and a Polack
A Frenchman, a Jew and a Polack are each sentenced to thirty years in prison. Each man is given one request that will be honored by the jail warden.
A woman, asks the Frenchman.
A telephone, says the Jew.
A cigarette, says the Polack.
Thirty years later the Frenchman walks out with the woman and ten kids.
The Jew strolls out carrying a ten thousand dollar commission he has made during the time.
The Polack walks out and says, Has anyone got a match?
What's it called when you commission someone to make an animated image for your girlfriend but he pockets the money and disappears?
A gf gif gift grift
An attendant to President Trump comes in and tells him "Sir, your commission has reported that three Brazilian illegals voted for Hillary."
And so he yells "I knew it! Now how many is a 'brazilian'?"
Did you hear about the travelling pasta salesman?
His commission was penne's on the dollar
Once I was commissioned to write an article about carrying rocks around in wet paper bags
In the end it all fell through
Three EU commissioners walk into a bar
The punchline is utterly incomprehensible but available in 24 languages.
You can explore commission commissioner reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean commission officials dad jokes. There are also commission puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
According to a recent national poll, American's least favourite colour is...
Brown.
(Poll conducted by the Federal Elections Commission)
Favorite work of fiction?
Warren Commission Report hands down
If "the big one" hits L.A., they say the sewer system will be out of commission for six months.
So how will they tell?
Did you hear about the mishap at the Asia Summit?
The Chinese government is seeking answers after the recent Beijing Conference. Apparently, several of Obama's and Putin's private bodyguards were the last to use one of the royal toilets before it was reported clogged.
Obama announced that he will ask congress to create a commission to investigate the incident while Putin denies that his forces ever entered the bathroom.
Bad Dad Joke:
Q: Did hear about the meeting the Democrats had with the Republicans about marijuana legalization?
A: They assembled a joint commission
I got a surprisingly big bonus from selling a hotel in Madrid
Nobody expects the Spanish Inn Commission
When Professionals are out of commission, their replacements are called "Substitutes."
Guess there were some issues when they tried calling them "Prostitutes"
Just watched The Martian
I found it odd that NASA would commission SpaceX to make the Iris probe.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the commission monument jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working commission losses piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.