Commissar Jokes
6 commissar jokes and hilarious commissar puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about commissar that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good commissar joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Potatoes For Everyone!
A party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.
''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''
A commissar goes to a collective farm...
... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.
The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"
The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."
The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."
a russian man
(Not my joke, it's a classic)
A russian man places a call to the local authorities.
He says, "Comrade Commissar, I want to report that my parrot has escaped."
Annoyed, the Commissar replies, "Comrade, we have much more important things to do than trying to find your parrot."
-
The man says, "I don't expect you to try and find him, comrade, I just want to be clear that I don't share his opinions."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag...
1 year for insulting a political officer,
30 years for revealing a state secret
One day the commissar was inspecting a potato farm in the Soviet Union and asked the farmer how his yields were.
The farmer said Oh commissar, the potatoes are so bountiful that together they can reach the foot of God. The commissar stopped and said Have you forgotten your communist teachings!? There is no God! To which the farmer said Exactly, that's why there's no potatoes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Soviet Production Inspector
The Soviet leadership was receiving reports of factory workers drinking on the job. They dispatch a Commissar to investigate, and he went to a factory and asks one of the workers, "If you had a glass of v**..., could you work today?"
The worker replied "I, I guess I could, sir."
The Commissar continued, "And if you had two glasses of v**..., could you work?"
The worker said, I guess I could, sir."
The Commissar asked, mostly out of his own curiosity, "If you had three glasses of v**..., could you work?"
The worker pulled out his flask and said, "I'm here, aren't I?"
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