Commis Jokes

Following is our collection of farm puns and assistant one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Commis jokes for adults, dirty deputy jokes and clean god dad gags for kids.

The Best Commis Puns

"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."

"10 kilograms you say?"

"Yeah, 5 kilograms"

A commissar goes to a collective farm...

... And hails a farmer to ask about how his village's farms are doing.

The farmer says "Oh Comrade Commissar, if we stacked all the potatoes in a pile, it would reach the foot of God!"

The commissar raises an eyebrow and says "Comrade farmer, we live in the USSR. There is no god."

The farmer replied: "That's okay, there are no potatoes either."

A commissar visits a potato farm

The party official asks a farmer how things are going, and the farmer replies that the harvest is so bountiful that the potatoes would reach the ''foot of God'' if piled on top of one another.

''But this is the Soviet Union,'' says the commissar, ''there is no God here.'' The farmer replies, ''That's all right, there are no potatoes, either.''


One of Reagan's favourite jokes.

Three EU commissioners walk into a bar

The punchline is utterly incomprehensible but available in 24 languages.

Once I was commissioned to write an article about carrying rocks around in wet paper bags

In the end it all fell through


What do you call a soviet cook?

A commis chef.

There is an abundance of commissioner jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 6 funniest jokes and commis puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any sous witze you can hear about commis.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes