Commie Jokes

28 commie jokes and hilarious commie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about commie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Commie Short Jokes

Short commie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The commie humour may include short communist jokes also.

  1. OLD romanian JOKE ABOUT COMMIES Why do policemen(considered idiots) walk in groups of 3?
    One knows how to read, one knows how to write and the other one oversees the intellectuals.
  2. What did Ayn Rand write after finally getting slipped a mickey by bloodthristy commies? Atlas Drugged
    I'll show myself out
  3. I was wondering why the book about s**... I bought had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality" Then I realized I was reading the c**... Sutra.
  4. Afraid your kid might be a c**...? Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.
  5. Why couldn't the c**... find the fascist? They were looking too far left while the other one was far right.
  6. I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on s**... positions using cross stitch images. I will call it... The c**... suture.
  7. Why did the comedian go to Russia to cut down a tree? Because the real joke is always in the c**... Ents.
  8. What the ancap dad said to the c**... son? I'll take a N.A.P.
  9. So a c**..., a clown and a crook walk into a bar... wait, they enter a presidential race.
  10. What do u call a stereotypical Vietnamese c**... He is so-viet

Share These Commie Jokes With Friends

Commie One Liners

Which commie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with commie? I can suggest the ones about communist russia and comrade.

  1. do commies write everything in lower case? you know beacause they hate capitalism
  2. What do alien commies believe in? Marsism
  3. What do you call a soviet cook? A commis chef.
  4. What did commies war to light their houses before candles? Light bulbs.
  5. Why are some Commies bad at stats? They fail to seize the *mean*s of production.
  6. Why don't dirty commies shower? Because they don't want to wash away their Marx.
  7. Just found out I was dating a c**... Guess I should've noticed the red flags earlier
  8. Where do Soviet nerds gather? At c**...-Con.
  9. If pronouncing my b's as v's makes me sound like a c**... Then soviet
  10. What do you call a communist b**...? A dam c**...
  11. What do you call a suicidal soviet? A c**...-kazi
  12. Did you hear the one about the suicidal soviet pilot? He was a c**...-kazi.
  13. What do you call a Soviet congress? c**... con
  14. What do you call a socialist who's into fashion? c**... Hilfiger.
  15. What does a Soviet say to someone he likes? c**... on my cell phone.

Commie joke, What does a Soviet say to someone he likes?

Cheeky Commie Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about commie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean communist cat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make commie pranks.

Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks.

(TKZS = a state-run c**... collective farm.)
A man walks in the TKZS' boss office and says: "Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks."
The boss laughs straight at his face: "Comrade, the average salary here is 150 bucks. I don't make 500. Why would I pay you 5000?"
„Cuz I can talk to animals. Don't believe me? Let's walk around the farm.
They reach the cow, she says "Moo!" and boss asks cockily "What'd she say?"
„She said she gives 30 litres of milk daily. She also says you and the mayor split 10 litres between you and book only 20. The boss looks a bit worried now and says „Come with me, I wanna show you the pigsty. They get there, the sow says „Oink! and boss waits for our guy's answer.
„Piggy says she gave birth to 6 piglets, but you and the mayor got one each, and booked only 4.
TKZS boss sizes up our guy and then says „Welcome aboard, let's go sign the papers.
They make their way to the office building and while they pass the goat, the goat goes „Meeh!
Boss says „Don't listen to her. Me and the mayor were a bit drunk.

Commie joke, Why did the comedian go to Russia to cut down a tree?