Commie Jokes
26 commie jokes and hilarious commie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about commie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Commie Short Jokes
Short commie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The commie humour may include short communist jokes also.
- What did Ayn Rand write after finally getting slipped a mickey by bloodthristy commies? Atlas Drugged
I'll show myself out
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Commie One Liners
Which commie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with commie? I can suggest the ones about communist russia and comrade.
- What do alien commies believe in? Marsism
- What do you call a soviet cook? A commis chef.
- Why are some Commies bad at stats? They fail to seize the *mean*s of production.
- Where do Soviet nerds gather? At c**...-Con.
- What do you call a communist b**...? A dam c**...
- What do you call a suicidal soviet? A c**...-kazi
- What do you call a Soviet congress? c**... con
- What do you call a socialist who's into fashion? c**... Hilfiger.
- What does a Soviet say to someone he likes? c**... on my cell phone.
- What did commies war to light their houses before candles? Light bulbs.
- What the ancap dad said to the c**... son? I'll take a N.A.P.
- What do u call a stereotypical Vietnamese c**... He is so-viet
- What do you call a Russian Lizard? c**... c**... c**... c**... chameleon.
Cheeky Commie Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
What funny jokes about commie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean communist cat jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make commie pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was wondering why the book about s**... I bought had positions like the "hammer and sickle" and "government mandated equality"
Then I realized I was reading the c**... Sutra.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks.
(TKZS = a state-run c**... collective farm.)
A man walks in the TKZS' boss office and says: "Meet your newest employee. My salary shall be 5000 bucks."
The boss laughs straight at his face: "Comrade, the average salary here is 150 bucks. I don't make 500. Why would I pay you 5000?"
„Cuz I can talk to animals. Don't believe me? Let's walk around the farm.
They reach the cow, she says "Moo!" and boss asks cockily "What'd she say?"
„She said she gives 30 litres of milk daily. She also says you and the mayor split 10 litres between you and book only 20. The boss looks a bit worried now and says „Come with me, I wanna show you the pigsty. They get there, the sow says „Oink! and boss waits for our guy's answer.
„Piggy says she gave birth to 6 piglets, but you and the mayor got one each, and booked only 4.
TKZS boss sizes up our guy and then says „Welcome aboard, let's go sign the papers.
They make their way to the office building and while they pass the goat, the goat goes „Meeh!
Boss says „Don't listen to her. Me and the mayor were a bit drunk.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Afraid your kid might be a c**...?
Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why couldn't the c**... find the fascist?
They were looking too far left while the other one was far right.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I want to make a Russian coffee table book based on s**... positions using cross stitch images. I will call it...
The c**... suture.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the comedian go to Russia to cut down a tree?
Because the real joke is always in the c**... Ents.
