Commercial Jokes

Following is our collection of residential puns and dunkirk one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Commercial jokes for adults, dirty sponsorship jokes and clean ads dad gags for kids.

The Best Commercial Puns

I knew a guy who had an irrational fear of overly intricate clusters of commercial buildings.

He had a complex complex complex.

My uncle is an idiot. He saw a commercial that said, "9 out of 10 accidents happen within a mile of your home."

So he up and moved

UGH I was just forced to watch a stupid commercial about something called a Snuggie...

I wanted to change the channel so bad, but I was under a blanket and didn't want my arms to get cold.

A Hanes commercial came on while I was watching T.V. with my daughter. She turned and said, "oh please Dad, don't act like you never wore tighty whities...

I responded, "Yes, there was a brief period."

I read the new iPhone was a commercial failure.

This surprised me, because I thought it was going to be a 6S.


My pops asked me what my favorite commercial. I looked at him and said,

It's a tie, Dad.

DJ Khaled was featured in a Weight Watchers commercial for losing weight...

...He must have stopped eating out...

A group of elderly folks were watching television at the retirement home...

They were enjoying their show until it was time for a commercial break. Having nothing else to do, they stayed sitting and watched the commercials. Suddenly, one advertisement displayed attractive men and women in rubber bodysuits, latex clothing, and BDSM-looking outfits. The elderly were aghast.

No one expected the Spandex intermission.

My new personal trainer encouraged me to do do fifteen push-ups every commercial break on TV

Man... I love Netflix!

Why are commercial flights always cheaper for vultures?

All their luggage is carrion.

Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with 2 round slices of cucumber on her eyes ...

I wonder where the rest of the cucumber is.


Why couldn't the monk who flew a helicopter understand the monk who flew commercial jets?

Because he was on a higher plane.

The first self driving commercial cars license plate should be...

'AFKBRB'

i don't get this joke

Louis CK said it was one of his terrible early standup jokes

"I asked my mom what sex was and she said 'it's what happens when Mrs. Brady turns off the lights. So I always thought sex was a commercial for paper towels"

What's a commercial fisherman's favorite instrument?

Castanets!

I saw Mission Impossible: Fallout yesterday.

It's probably the longest iPhone commercial I'll ever watch.

A Lysol commercial said I should disinfect the thing I touch the most.

I think this is gonna burn.

Bilbo Baggins turns on the radio.

After a lengthy commercial break, the DJ suddenly jumps right into a new song.

"Just a small town girl..."

Bilbo was surprised, and delighted: this was unexpected Journey.

A lot of people are upset about that Gillette commercial

I guess it wasn't made for people with sensitive skin.


Need some help from you guys!

I'm writing a script for a commercial for a small denture business, and the client wants me to open with a pun and so far anything I've come up with is pretty bleak.. So hit me with your best mouth/dentist/smile (etc.) puns! Thanks in advance.

Upvotes for all answers!

Comcast's newest commercial really gave me a laugh.

They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.

Are there two companies named Comcast?

I Just Got Cast In A Commercial!

I'm the "before" picture

How did NBC respond to someone who criticized their broadcasting?

I (*commercial break*) can't (*commercial break*) understand (*commercial break*) your accent (*commercial break*).

An old man in his 90's

is watching tv and a sexy
commercial comes on. After the ad the old fella realizes he has a stiffy. He gets up and shuffles into the kitchen to show his wife. "MARTHA!!! MARTHA!!! Look at this. What should i do with it?" His wife looks up at him and replies," You might as well clean it now that you got the wrinkles out of it".

Music is very powerful,

like that Kars 4 Kids commercial. Before I saw that commercial I wanted to donate a car to kids, but that song changed my mind.

My father was a commercial miner his whole life, but he only mined silver and gold. On his deathbed, I asked him what his favorite metal to mine was... he said

Either ore.

As a Trump supporter, I am really disappointed by all these firing at the White House.

Why aren't the firing televised live on TV? And there needs to be some suspenseful music prior to finding out who is being fired along with like 12 commercial breaks that can help pay down the national debt.

What do you call a male commercial sex worker?

A prostatute.

I became a commercial pilot to overcome my greatest fear.

Dying alone.

I love the smell of abandoned commercial manufacturing plants.

I find it to be a pleasant old factory experience.

What ever happened to the Energizer Bunny?

So the other day I'm talking to a friend about what happened to the Energizer Bunny. It's been quite sometime since I've seen him appear in a commercial. I was always under the impression that he "kept going." My friend proceeds to tell me the Energizer Bunny was arrested last year ,and they charged him with battery. Now it all makes sense.

Why is it appropriate that the Rolling Stones let their song Start Me Up be used for a Windows 95 commercial?

Because it contains the lyrics You'd make a grown man cry.

My uncle has a television set in his automobile, but it led to a little trouble.

You see, he was sitting in the car, watching television, while his wife was driving on the highway at sixty miles per hour.

Then the commercial came on, and he stepped out to go to the bathroom

Me and my wife were contemplating abortion until we saw a commercial sealing the deal...

"They'll do things their parents never even dreamed of, because these kids will grow up with Windows 10."

What's the difference between a woman and a tiger entering a commercial center?

The woman is shopping in the mall and the tiger is mauling in the shops.

A Commercial Airliner Crashes Into The Ground and Flys Off Again.

Boeing!

If the Super Bowl goes into overtime, does that mean…

…the first 4 quarters were just a really long commercial since the game was Tide?

Why do commercial fishermen use nets?

With only a rod you lose a fish in sea.

Commercials that never made it to air

Here's my entry:

"Have you had an accident that wasn't your fault and has ruined your life? Next time, use Durex".

Why was there a gamete in the commercial on TV?

Because sex cells

Anyone remember this from the Austin Powers commercial?

"If you see one movie this summer... see Starwars... but if you see two movies see Austin Powers...."

Why did the actor in the prescription drug commercial cross the road?

To get to the other side effects.

Amazon's new commercial says working here is like working in the chocolate factory.

Cuz all these HIPAA violations, and unpaid workplace injuries.

Must have been watching too much TV this week::

My dreams have commercial breaks now...

NBC: And the winner of the Gold medal is...

NBC: Find out right after 4 hour delay and several commercial breaks.

There is an abundance of business jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 45 funniest jokes and commercial puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any publicity witze you can hear about commercial.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes