Commented Jokes
38 commented jokes and hilarious commented puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about commented that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Commented Short Jokes
Short commented jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The commented humour may include short remarked jokes also.
- As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself... maybe a career as a tour guide wasn't for me.
- If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets.... I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.
- Why do chinese people love IPhones and Apple products? Because the greatest gifts are the ones your children made.
(inspired by u/lorenzomofo 's comment on a
r/nextfuckinglevel post) - Wife: Stop pretending your life is a youtube video!! It's ruining our marriage! Me: Do you guys think it's ruining our marriage? Let me know in the comments below!
- If I had $1 for every time I read a racist comment on the internet I'd still be broke. Because I am black and can't read.
- Soulja Boy is not even a soldier. Dr. Dre is not even a doctor. Adele is not even a computer.
*Keep the joke going in the comments.* - I'm tired of seeing "Hey OP, I banged your mom" comments every time I post a submission.... I never should have given dad my username.
- If I had a dollar for every racist comment I ever made..... I'd probably get robbed by a black guy.
- My daughter asked me what "fap fap fap" means... I think I should stop commenting on her Facebook pictures.
- What's at the centre of No Man's sky universe? A refund.
credit to /u/xROSSTHEHOSSx (saw it on another post as comment, thought it deserved own post)
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Commented One Liners
Which commented one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with commented? I can suggest the ones about comment section and posts comments.
- A journalist asked a programmer:- What makes code bad? No comment.
- Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible? No comment.
- Why do golf commentators speak softly? To not wake the audience.
- I joined a forum for people with Down syndrome. Comments are disabled.
- If you're a programmer, you would know: // the real joke is always in the comments
- What did the gay guy say while parking? Wow, I'm not straight at all...
- You know you're wrong... when YouTube commenters start agreeing with you.
- What really offends amputees? Off-handed comments.
- I hate comments They discuss me
- So how did you die? Too long for here, read comments.
- First person to comment on this thread is gau
- Who's the coolest guy in the hospital? The ultra-sound guy.
[read next comment] - Pikachu used racist comments It's super offensive!
- How does a software code becomes unreadable? No comments.
- Developer accused of unreadable code refuses to comment
Commented Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about commented you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean comments jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make commented pranks.
A vegan said to me, "people who sell meat are g**...!"
I said, "people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer."
I was talking to a feminist today when she told me about the Dwayne Johnson Rule.
I'd never heard of it before but apparently in order to determine if a particular comment is appropriate to say to a woman, you should first ask yourself, Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson? If not, don't say it.
I thought this sounded like a great rule, so I told her, Your chest is epic.
My husband commented on the new store that is being built nearby: That's a nice looking Aldi!
I told him it just looks like Aldi others.
...
Sorry y'all. It's been such a bad day, and this little exchange my hubby and I had earlier had us both laughing probably more than we should have. Hope it makes one of you out there smile too.
How do you keep Texans and their politics in Texas?
Place a "Welcome to California" sign on every road leading out of Texas. They'll turn right around.
*Edit*: Hey, hey, hey. If you don't like the joke, downvote ME. Leave my commenters alone!
o**... wrote on his FB status:
"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."
400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:
"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"
I am disgusted by the youth of today....
Let me start by saying my girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. I am 39 and my girlfriend is 19, the amount of a**... I got from a group of teenagers inside the restaurant was nothing short of vile.....comments like PEADO NONCE KIDDY FIDDLER
It totally ruined our 10 year anniversary.
Why did the chef add extra oregano to the sauce?
He was making up for lost thyme.
Thank you, thank you. I'll just show myself out now.
*Wow, thanks! I was expecting a much chilier reception, but your warm comments have kept those fears at bay (that's what you get for encouraging me :)*
At a corporate party…
The director of HR stood up and said If anyone has any comments or anything they'd like to say please come up to the microphone
An employee stood up and walked over. He picked up the microphone and pointed it directly at the speakers. A loud obnoxious noise screeched out and filled the room. Everyone covered their ears as he held it there. He then turned it away and handed it back to the HR director. To which the HR director said…
Thank you for your feedback.
But is it m**...?
A h**... detective walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Hey look at those birds outside," the bartender comments to him. "Did you know that a group of crows like that is called a m**...?" "Well you can't be sure that's a m**...," the detective says. "Unless there is probable caws."
Why wouldn't the airline allow the vulture to board his flight?
#Because of the horrible stench coming from his carrion luggage.
*I deserve any and all insulting comments I will get for this joke, I make no excuses for myself and should probably be ashamed.*
*
A woman was watching her husband standing on the bathroom scale, s**... in his stomach
Thinking he was trying to weigh less with maneuver, she commented, "I don't think that is going to help." "Sure it will," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers..
My 11 yo son got out the car at school the other morning, right at the moment the gritter was driving by us spraying rock salt everywhere..
He got straight back in the car, looked at me with a completely serious face and said I've just been assaulted .
ETA: thank you so much for the awards, I showed him some (SOME!) of the comments 😂 and it made his day, he was delighted that people actually enjoyed his joke to even just upvote and comment on it but actually couldn't believe that people actually awarded it too ( people gave Reddit awards to it?? For my joke?? Like, did they actually mum or are you just saying that?! so yea, thank you kind Redditors for making my 11yo extremely happy! You guys are the best 😊
