Commas Jokes

Following is our collection of oxford puns and semicolon one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Commas jokes for adults, dirty comas jokes and clean punctuation dad gags for kids.

The Best Commas Puns

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.

Why do sperm cells look like commas and apostrophes?

They often interrupt periods and lead to contractions.

My four favorite things

My four favorite things are chicken pot pie and omitting commas.

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

If not using commas was a crime

would it result in long sentences?


My three favourite things

My 3 favourite things are eating my family and not using commas

A man has been found guilty of overusing commas

The judge warned him to expect a very long sentence.

Things I hate: lists, Oxford commas, and irony.

What's the difference between an ER doctor and an editor?

One has patients with comas, the other has patience with commas.

I love cooking dogs and children.

But I hate using commas.

Did you know using too many commas is now illegal....

You can end up with a very lengthy sentence.


Commas matter

Let's listen to the doors.

Vs.

Let's listen to the commadoors

Commas can really change a sentence

For example:
John is in a hurry
John is in a coma

My three favorite things are eating my family

and omitting commas.

Come on, Grandma!

Thank goodness for commas.

I've got another example of the importance of Oxford commas:

I passed a headstone the other day which read, "Here lies Tyler Goetz, a lawyer and a good man."

 

I just can't believe the three of them agreed on such ambiguous syntax.

Did you know that commas can change the meaning of a sentence?

For example : Mr.Walter is in a comma

Commas in a sentence can change everything.

I helped my uncle jack, off a horse.

I helped my uncle jack off a horse.

Colons can drastically change the meanings of sentences, far more than commas.

For example,

I come in a car

I come in a colon


My three favorite things are eating my family

and not using commas

Commas can really change the meaning of a sentence

For example:

Let's eat, grandma
Grandma is in a coma

Commas are important people

Unless you consider them human, too.

"Come on mom!"

Yet another lesson in the importance of commas.

Found a better reason for commas than accidentally helping uncle jack off a horse.

"fuckin' A, baby" and "fuckin' a baby".

Commas really change the meaning to a sentence

For example:

Ben is in a hurry vs Ben is in a comma

What do you call it when Christopher Walken uses too much punctuation?

"...a, Tragedy, of, the Commas!"

Things I love

I love eating my parents and not using commas

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence drastically

Let's eat, Grandma.


Let's eat commas.

Why do communists not use commas?

Because they show owner ship

I once knew a guy who would always use periods rather than commas.

He was a peri-od dude.

My Favorite Things Are...

Eating my family and forgetting to use commas.


*Note: this is not mine, I heard it from a friend.*

Commas save lives

I love to cook my family and my pets.

What do you call three consecutive commas in a text conversation?

Trying to make a point.

Why do the Germans use commas in place of decimal points?

Because it makes 6,000,000 seem like a much smaller number.

Remember where to put your commas kids...

There's a big difference between helping your old uncle Jack, off his horse...

There is an abundance of mindfuck jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 35 funniest jokes and commas puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any purrgatory witze you can hear about commas.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes