The Best 16 Commando Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Commando jokes. There are some commando squadron jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these commando commander puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Commando Jokes and Puns

Army commando recruitment - from India

A Man was being interviewed for the post of a Commando in Army.

Interviewer: "We want a person with a suspicious mind; always alert, merciless; ready to attack; high sense of hearing & most importantly; having a killer instinct. So Do you think you are eligible?"

Man: "No Sir; but can my Wife apply?"

Why do witches go commando when riding around on their brooms?

Better grip.

Happy Halloween :)

What do you call the president when he is not wearing underwear?

The commando in chief.

Commando joke, What do you call the president when he is not wearing underwear?

What kind of underwear do the GI Joes wear?

None, they go commando.

What do you call a Jewish person that doesn't wear underwear?

An Israeli commando!

What do you call a Hebrew commando?

GI Jew

Some dude went to a Halloween party dressed as Santa.

He was approached by someone who said "Really? You dressed as Santa?"
The man replied "Almost. You see, I went commando."
The person was surprised at the response. So he asked "why does that change anything?"
The man smiled, and slyly replied "Today, I am dressed as Saint Knicker-less"

Commando joke, Some dude went to a Halloween party dressed as Santa.

What do you call a crossdressing man who always goes commando?


What does a General wear to bed

Nothing, he goes commando

Doctors advice

My doctor told me that going commando was healthy, but I got 20years in jail instead. Somehow I think killing my infant brother with my dads bowie knife was'nt what he meant.

Have you heard the latest news about the remake of Arnie's classic film Commando?

The lead role has been given to Knickerless Cage.

You can explore commando sgt reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean commando paratrooper dad jokes. There are also commando puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did the witch go commando?

She needed some better grip on her broomstick.

What is Victoria's Secret?

She goes commando and sell her panties.

My girlfriend replaced all her panties with invisible ones, because they're fashionable.

But now she can't find them anywhere, leaving her no choice but to go commando everyday.

What is it called when Rambo won't answer your phone calls?

He's an incommunicado commando

What's the difference between a commando and a pastry chef?

One goes in guns blazing, the other goes in buns glazing!

Commando joke, What's the difference between a commando and a pastry chef?

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the commando salem jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working commando stormtrooper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes