Commander Chief Jokes
9 commander chief jokes and hilarious commander chief puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about commander chief that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Happy Commander Chief Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What is a good commander chief joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A military plane crashes on a cannibal island
The soldiers are captured, and the chief asks them "Right, which one of you is the commander?"
"That's me, Commander Joe Miller."
"Well, congratulations, Joe, by tomorrow you'll be Commander-in-Chief!"
This clown thing has gone too far
I mean, he could very well became our commander in chief in a month or so.
Fun Presidential Trivia
The annual salary of Commander-in-Chief is legally set at $400,000 per year. Except for our next one, who will only make $316,000 (or 79% to every man's dollar).
Navy biscuits
An Admiral visited one of the ships of the line under his command. While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.
The Chief replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia.
Horrified the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"
The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, If that's the way you feel, sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."
An Admiral visited one of the ships under his command.
While eating breakfast with the crew he was impressed to see the Naval insignia stamped on every biscuit.
He went to the Chief cook to ask how this feat was done, so it could be used on other ships under his command.
The Chief replied, "I'd be glad to share that with you, Admiral. After each biscuit is cut, I just slap it here against my belt buckle which bears the Navy insignia."
Horrified, the Admiral exclaims, "That's very unhygienic!"
The Chief shrugs and replies, "Well, if that's the way you feel, Sir, I suggest you avoid the donuts."
An Indian chief goes into town...
For the day to run some errands for the tribe. When he comes back everyone notices that he is carrying a box of things he purchased. Inside they see there is a light bulb.
They found this quite odd, considering they didn't have electricity. Of course, he is the chief so no one questions him. As the day is coming to an end, they are very perplexed about this light bulb. Finally someone asks him, "chief, why did you buy a lightbulb if we have no electricity?"
In response the chief calls together the whole tribe. He gets them to all stand in a big circle. Next he places the lightbulb in the dirt in the exact middle of the circle. Finally he commands everyone to join hands together.
Miraculously, the light immediately begins to illuminate when everyone joined their hands.
The chief then speaks in a very chief ten commanding voice, "many hands make light work."
The policeman and the newspapers
A policeman is assigned to a new central station. His chief command him to buy a newspaper every morning, for a week. The news-stand is a few miles away and he is forbidden to take a car, because he's a rookie. He thinks: "Screw that! Today I'll walk to the news-stand and I'll buy 7 copies of the newspaper. Then I'll handle them to the chief, one every day!" And so he did. On the 7th day the chief called him. He started sweating, he thought: "I'm done, he busted me!" Instead of firing him, the chief offered him a seat, smiled, and threw a newspaper on the desk pointing an article... "And they says policemen are s**...... look at this guy! He crashed 7 cars for 7 days straight on the same pole!"
A military plane has some technical difficulties and is forced to c**...-land on an island in the Pacific.
As it turns out, it was inhabited by cannibals. Without much ado, the crew are captured and delivered to the village, to be put in the communal p**....
The chief of the tribe approaches, and asks them "Who might you be, snacks from above?"
"Airman Sam Jones," says one.
"Airman Dan Williams."
"Airman First Class Ted Robins."
"Commander John Simmons."
"Ah, congratulations!" says the cannibal.
"Er, thank you? Why?"
"Well sir, tomorrow you will be Commander-in-Chief!"
Obi-wan Cohen
Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.
After a year, only three applied for the job: A Japanese, A Chinese, and A Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
"What a feat!" said the Emperor.
"Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor.
"How are you going to top that, Number Three Samurai?"
The Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai!! "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"
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