The Best 63 Comm Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Comm jokes. There are some comm dist jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these comm doppler puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Comm Jokes and Puns

A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room.

In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry.
"I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!"
With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.
The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need."
With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts."
With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."

We should've known communism would fail.

There were a lot of red flags.

What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist.

They both look for problems in places where other men find pleasure.

Comm joke, What's common between a Game Tester and Gynecologist.

What's the most common marriage proposal?

You're what!

What is the most common use for pig skins?

To keep the pig in one piece.


What is the most common question asked by iPhone users?

"Does anyone have a charger I could use?"

If you commit 90 sins, u will get caught 45 times. Why?

Because Sin 90 = Cot 45!

Comm joke, If you commit 90 sins, u will get caught 45 times. Why?

I used to go to communism classes.

I never really got good Marx.

Why are Communists bad Java programmers?

They don't like classes.

How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, we just sit in the dark complaining about capitalism.

But come the light-bulb revolution everything will be brighter.

What's the most commonly misspelt blood group?

Type-O

You can explore comm clang reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean comm ele dad jokes. There are also comm puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I think my cat's a communist...

He won't shut up about Mao

I was going to commit seppuku the other day.

But I didn't have the guts to go through with it.

"Commissioner, we've found 20 kilograms of cocaine."

"10 kilograms you say?"

"Yeah, 5 kilograms"

The most common type of web developers are not even human

they are spiders

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.

Comm joke, Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

If ever I commit murder, I'm doing it with Indian flatbread.

Naan violent crimes get shorter sentences in respect for their counterparts.

Why don't communists ever learn?

Because there are no classes.

Why do Communists only write in lowercase?

Because they hate Capitalism.


Why doesn't communism work in a school enviroment?

Because everyone would get the same Marx.

do commies write everything in lower case?

you know beacause they hate capitalism

What's the most common operation in a LEGO hospital?

Plastic surgery.

[Credits: My 11yo son invented this joke]

What is the most common attire during WWII?

Casual Tees

In my community we have a neighborhood watch,

It's actually more like a clock tower.

Why is it common practice for sumo wrestlers to shave?

So they don't get mistaken for a feminist

If communism doesn't work, why do so many people still support it?

They don't work either.

Why do Communists Type in Lowercase Letters

Because they are anti-capitalism

What is the most commonly searched term on Internet Explorer?

Google Chrome.

if you commit a crime 90 times,

if you commit a crime 90 times, you'll only get caught 45 times
.
.
.
.
because sin90=cot45

What was the most common sandwich in Ancient Rome?

A Plebeian J

What is communism?

- Let me explain.. If you had 2 yachts and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course.
- Well, that's communism. Another example, if you had 2 homes and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- Of course I would.
- See, its easy. If you had 2 coats for example and your friend had none, wouldn't you give him one?
- No!
- No? Why not?
- Because I *do* have 2 coats

What do two communists have in common?

Everything

Why can communists only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

Why is Communism one of the most ironic words?

It's Capitalized

Why can't Communists be programmers?

Because there is a hierarchy of classes, inheritance, and private properties

My commander told me he didn't see me at camo practice.

I said "Thanks."

What is the common ground between an Ak-47 and bubblegum?

When you pull it out in class everybody wants to be your friend.

If not using commas was a crime

would it result in long sentences?

What does the F in Communism stand for

Food

What did communists use for light before candles?

Electricity.

Communist jokes arent funny.

Unless everyone gets them.

If you commit 90 sins, you will only be caught half the time.

Because sin 90 = cot 45

What is the most common illness in China?

Kung Flu.

Communism doesn't work for me.

It works for us.

Whaβ€Œβ€Œt dβ€Œβ€Œo β€Œβ€Œa glasβ€Œβ€Œs oβ€Œβ€Œf wateβ€Œβ€Œr anβ€Œβ€Œd aβ€Œβ€Œn atheisβ€Œβ€Œt havβ€Œβ€Œe iβ€Œβ€Œn common?

Jesuβ€Œβ€Œs caβ€Œβ€Œn makβ€Œβ€Œe theβ€Œβ€Œm botβ€Œβ€Œh wine.

What's common between humour and sex?

You either get it, or you don't!

If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada

is it a 34 degree murder in the US?

Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.

I didn't steal this joke. This is *OUR* joke.

What did communists use before candles?

Electricity

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes

-mixing up there, their, and they're

-using the wrong too, to, or two

-putting commas in the wrong place

-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches

-using apostrophes for plurals

communism jokes aren't funny

unless everyone gets it.

Why do communists hate schools?

Because schools have classes

Communists make the best snipers

They're natural Marx men.

I took a communism test today.

I got full Marx

He said he was a communist.

I should've known darnit, there were red flags everywhere.

What is a communist grave called?

A maosoleum

What did communists use to light their homes before candles?

Electricity

Committee, n.:

A group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done. -- Fred Allen

I was committed when I was young, but not because I was crazy...

Each one of me could tell you that.

What's common in dark humor and food?

Not everybody gets it.

What is common between Reddit and China?

They both don't like opinions.

What is a Communists favorite musician?

Cher

Communist Arby's

We have the means.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the comm red jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working comm cas piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes