I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their door.
Guy: "I'm coming over"
Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."
That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.
You're coming home now! she screamed.
No, I'm not, I laughed.
She said, I'm talking to the kids.
The porn industry can go fuck themselves for all I care.
"I'm not coming in tomorrow"
Haven't seen this one here so if it's been posted before I'm sorry
...others saw it coming.
Great movie quote, terrible pickup line…
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
Her: Come over.
Him: I'm coming over.
Her: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over.
A woman preparing to leave her husband casually informs him, "I'm going to become a hooker. I can make $400 for what I give you for free."
"I'm coming with you," the man replies. "I want to see you live on $800 a year."
They're always coming in a little behind.
You have my word
I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
Guy: "I'm coming over"
Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies when we're having sex, over."
Just to hear the crowed chant "COME ON! COME ON MY FACE!"
"...and here comes My Face coming up from the rear!"
-Credit goes to my mother
-
He was always coming in a little behind.
Always
Coming
From
Take
Me
Down
Police: Turn around.
Me: Every now and then I get a little bit lonely and you're never coming round...
Police: TURN AROUND!!
Me: BRIGHT EYES, Every now and then I fall apart. And you I need you now tonight, and I need you more than ev--AHHHHHH!
Guy: Im coming over
Girl: We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over
I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions.
I can't stop coming to conclusions.
I called my boss and asked him "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?" Just as he was about to reply I cut him off and said "I'm not coming in this morning."
Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.
Little knotsies.
A man calls his boss and tells him he won't be coming in to work today because he's not feeling well. The boss says, "Well we really need you today. Whenever I'm feeling sick I tell my wife to give me a blow job. Works every time. Why don't you try that and then see how you feel."
He calls back an hour later and says, "Just letting you know, I'm on my way to work. I feel great now. And by the way, you have a nice house."
Thank you all for coming.
"Need help finding a size?" = Please stop fucking up my display
"I can put that back for you" = you're going to fuck up my display
"Let me hold your items for you" = So you dont leave this somewhere and fuck up a display
A Pitbull coming from the childrens play ground
after a night of partying and heavy drinking, just as the sun is coming up. His wife is waiting for him at the kitchen table, glaring at him.
"Is there a reason you're coming home at 6 in the morning with alcohol on your breath, lipstick on your collar?" She shouts at him.
"Yes there is," he replies.
"I would like some breakfast"
his father sees him, but instead of saying anything, he gives Johnny a huge grin and thumbs up, then starts to really give it to the old lady. The next night, the father gets up to go to the restroom, and he hears noises coming from Johnny's room. He looks in the door, and Johnny is on top of his grandmother, really giving it to her. Johnny looks at his father, gives him a grin and says, "not so funny when it's your Mom, is it?"
NASA: I'm coming!
Wife: You bastard! I hope you have a damn good reason for coming home at 7 in the morning.
Husband: Of course I do.
Wife: Do tell!
Husband: Breakfast.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Coming? Well, here are the best Coming dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Coming pick up lines to share with friends.