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Comfort Jokes

93 comfort jokes and hilarious comfort puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about comfort that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Read this collection of comfort jokes for a heavy dose of reassurance and profoundness. Discover the joy of humor without stepping too far out of your comfort zone. Enjoy the warm, caressing embrace of these jokes and their comfort food-like charm.

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Funniest Comfort Short Jokes

Short comfort jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The comfort humour may include short ease jokes also.

  1. What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food!
  2. I got to a party and the host said, Make yourself at home , so I got comfortable. Turns out English was not his first language, and he was asking me to leave.
  3. My son asked me, Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge? I smiled and said, Sure..." "But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.
  4. I looked at my bank account and found I could live the rest of my life comfortably without working... ... as long as I die on Thursday.
  5. Dr: "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable." Husband: "I thought she was in a coma and critical condition."
    Dr: "She is, the nurses are using her as a beanbag."
  6. After being seated at the restauarant, my server asked me; Comfortable sir? I replied, no, comeforfood.
  7. "Jesus loves you" can be very comforting words... unless you hear them in a Mexican prison
  8. "i used to be a Christian" She said to her boyfriend, he replies "that's ok, I don't mind" relieved she says "oh that's great, I'm so much more comfortable being Christine"
  9. I have a friend who says that he hates all comforters. I told him that he shouldn't make blanket statements like that.
  10. My sister is moaning and screaming in her bedroom because she is sick. I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her.

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Comfort One Liners

Which comfort one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with comfort? I can suggest the ones about confidence and peace.

  1. How do you comfort a sad non binary person ? They're/Their
  2. I'm going to make a blanket statement All comforters are comfortable
  3. Why did Thor sit comfortably on a cactus? He has an Asgard
    ...I'll see myself out
  4. What's comforting and scary at the same time? A warm toilet seat.
  5. What do you say to comfort a friend struggling with grammar? There, they're, their...
  6. What did one homophone say to comfort the other homophone? Their, there, they’re.
  7. Why shouldn't you lie on your Resume? It's less comfortable than your bed.
  8. What do you call the kids claiming "We don't need no education"? Comfortably Dumb
  9. What is the Kraken's go-to comfort food? Fish'n'ships
  10. From my 8 year old: what's the most comfortable car? A comfortible
  11. What do you say to comfort someone who is non-binary? Their, there.
  12. How do you comfort an English teacher? There, they're, their.
  13. As a musician I'm jealous sofas They can at least support a family of 4 comfortably
  14. I bought a new sofa. Really comfortable. So fa, so good.
    (Well, at least it's OC :-) )
  15. Comfortable, sir? The waitress asked No, no I said, Come for food

Comfort Room Jokes

Here is a list of funny comfort room jokes and even better comfort room puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I went to my tailor and asked if I could try on the suit in the window. "Sure," he said, "but wouldn't it be more comfortable if you used the dressing room?"
  • 10 girls asked me to go out. By the way I was in the ladies' comfort room

Comfort Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny comfort food jokes and even better comfort food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man went to a restaurant. A man went to a restaurant and sat down on a table.
    The waiter came and asked - Comfortable, sir?
    The man replied - No, I come for food
  • I was sitting in a Restaurant on a Table A waiter came to me and said: Comfortable sir?
    Me: No, Come for the food.
    :)
  • What was Confucius' favorite comfort food? Macaroni and Qi.
Comfort joke, What was Confucius' favorite comfort food?

Southern Comfort Jokes

Here is a list of funny southern comfort jokes and even better southern comfort puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Waddya get if you mix Canadian Club and Southern Comfort? What you most assuredly deserve
  • What do you call a cocktail of v**..., orange juice, sloe gin, and southern comfort? A slow, comfortable, screw.

Comfort Zone Jokes

Here is a list of funny comfort zone jokes and even better comfort zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I was told to get out of my comfort zone So I started driving on the other side of the road
    Not only I'm I uncomfortable, but so is everybody else
  • If you don't have the strength to stand up, remember that wipe begins at the end of your comfort zone.
  • I recently stepped outside of my comfort zone. In other words, I departed McDonald's.
Comfort joke, I recently stepped outside of my comfort zone.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about comfort can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of comfort puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Entertaining Comfort Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about comfort you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean compass jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make comfort prank.

A simple operation

A patient is caught running down the hospital halls before his operation by an employee.
"What's the matter?" the employee asked.
The man said, "I heard the nurse say, 'It's going to be a very simple operation, don't worry, it will be fine.'"
"Well what's the matter? She was just trying to comfort you." the employee said.
The man replied, "She wasn't talking to me, she was talking to the doctor."

Sunday Morning s**...

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her.
When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning." Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having s**... would surely be asking for trouble.
"Oh no, my dear," replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the d**...." She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, "He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along."

It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student when it comes to deadlines...

They both wait until the last minute, then get an extension.

Why was the woman so attached to her Dr. Scholl's gel insert?

It was her sole comfort.

Why did the holiday inn change its ne to comfort in?

Because the jehovah witness' dont do holidays and the doors are closer together.

Just saw a man crying because he doesn't know what a homophone is

To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, "They're, their, there..."

A comfortably old joke

A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."

My dad's favourite joke

A man was visiting his friend at his home when all the sudden, the visitor realised something odd.
"Why are you in your underwear?" asked the visitor
"For comfort, I'm at home after all" replied the man
"But why wear a tie?"
"Well, you never know when a visitor comes over"

I drank so much I blew Chunks

Jon : Oh Ted, I had a terrible night. I drank so much that when I got home, I blew chunks.
Ted: Hey, thats not so bad. At least you were in the comfort of your own home.
Jon: No, you dont understand. Chunks is my dog...

I got an email from my ex, telling me that she has AIDS.

I didn't know how to comfort her, so I just wrote back "I know."

In a hospital

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
A nurse stopped him and asked, "What's the matter?"
He said, "I heard the nurse say, It's a very simple operation, don't worry. I'm sure it will be all right."
"She was just trying to comfort you. What's so frightening about that?"
"She wasn't talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!"

I found a stray cat today. Sadly, my dad is allergic to them so I had to put him down.

At least I still have the cat for comfort.

Many times when I am troubled or confused...

Many times when I am troubled or confused, I find comfort in sitting in my back yard and having a v**... Martini along with a quiet conversation with Jesus.
This happened to me again after a particularly difficult day. I said "Jesus, why do I work so hard?"
And I heard the reply: "Men find many ways to demonstrate the love they have for their family. You work hard to have a peaceful, beautiful place for your friends and family to gather."
I said: "I thought that money was the root of all evil."
And the reply was: "No, the LOVE of money is the root of all evil. Money is a tool; it can be used for good or bad".
I was starting to feel better, but I still had that one burning question, so I asked it. "Jesus," I said, "what is the meaning of life? Why am I here?"
He replied: "That is a question many men ask. The answer is in your heart and is different for everyone. I would love to chat with you some more, Señor, but for now, I have to finish your lawn."

Future rap name: 50 Bitcoin

That's all, the punchline was in the title; however, this sentence is here to comfort you and let you know that it's totally normal that you clicked to see if there was anything else.

Gabe Newell and Bill Gates should get together.

Not only would there be some epic games, they could comfort each other's inability to count.

Now you can handle those n**... cuts from the comfort of your home...

... with "Suture Self".

There was a boy with lung cancer...

One day a priest came to visit the boy in the hospital. The Priest sat on the boy's side to comfort him and pray. Soon, the boy was unable to breathe. Acting quickly the priest grabbed a pen and paper to gather the boy's last words. Days later at the f**..., the priest read the boys last words and it read " Dear Father Dave, you are on my oxygen tube."

I'm not comfortable with my sexuality...

but luckily I have a discomfort f**....

I found I out I was concieved at my grandmothers f**......

Appearently, my Mum was trying comfort him. s**... mourning wood.

It's okay if you're not comfortable with Soylent Green yet

It grows on you.

Today morning I ate an unhatched chick

Just to bring any comfort and optimism to everyone, I had the unhatched chick sunny side up.
~Original

First I wasn't really comfortable with the fact that I had cancer

But then it grew on me

How do you comfort and annoy someone who is a stickler for grammar at the same time?

Give them a reassuring pat on the shoulder and say "their their."

I just got offered a new position at work that I need to consider.

I got called into my boss's office for standing around too much at work. He said "please take a seat."
I told him I'll have to think about it. While it gives me a lower profile in the company, I'll have a greater comfort level in what I'm doing.

A little girl in charlottesville cries after the violence she's seen, I try to comfort her: "There there...

it's alt right"

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

I tried comforting the jilted bride by reminding her...

"At least the wedding went off without a hitch."

What do you call doing sit-ups in the comfort of your own home?

Domestic ab use.

Medical bills are expensive

but let's take comfort that it isn't like the civil war era. Doctors would charge an arm and a leg back than

What's the most comfortable empire?

The Ottoman Empire.
And much like that one, I'll see myself out now.

I want to say comforters are superior to quilts

But I don't like to make blanket statements.

How do you comfort an English Major?

There, their, they're....

Every day when I get home from work I kiss my front door, then I cuddle one of the walls, and I comfort a few of the windows.

It's a detached house.

Children in florida during the hurricanes,

They all got free swimming lessons in the comfort of their home.

What do you tell a person who is trying to learn guitar but is failing to comfort him/her?

Don't fret about it

What's comfortable and uncomfortable at the same time.....

A public toilet seat.

What's the most comforting seafood?

Cuddlefish.

What's the comfort support of choice for women's bras?

Mammary Foam

BREWER: We're sorry to inform you Mrs. O'reilly that your husband drowned today at the Guinness factory

WIFE: Well at least give me the comfort in knowing it was a quick death
BREWER: well he drowned in only 15 minutes, short considering he got out of the keg twice to pee

If you're ever lost in the woods, just look up at the sky for the North Star.

Its twinkling will comfort you as you die.

A stressed Referee goes to a psychologist

He breaks down in front of the doctor, complaining about feeling depressed, and loathed, always disappointing somebody no matter what he does. The doctor is highly sympathetic, and offers comfort - "It must be so hard, I'm glad you came to me. I can help" The doctor starts writing something on a piece of paper and says "Go to this address, and tell the optometrist I sent you".

Why do elephants paint their toenails red.

A: To hide in the cherry trees!
Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?? Then I guess it works!
(As told by my mid-70s, overall wearin, Southern Comfort drinkin neighbor.)

How did the gang leader comfort the little girl?

He said "We are only ten too."

I'll never fly delta again.

I tried to board with two dead comfort cats and they said I could only have one carrion.

I heard someone say that change does not come from a place of comfort

But I find pennies and nickels in my couch all the time so I don't know what they mean

The World Wildlife Fund has stated that if humans keep fishing at the current pace, there will be no more fish left in the oceans by 2048.

Which is going to make it really difficult to comfort someone who is going through a relationship break-up.

My buddy was lately depressed as he found out that he wasn't planned and his parents didnt really want him, I tried to comfort him and said:

"Dont worry, accidents happen"

I comforted my depressed friend.

I said, Sometimes, you just got to stop and breathe in the air.
He said, Yeah, like all the time.

A New Gadget

Bob came home looking utterly wretched and buried his head in his hands.
I've been sacked, he told his wife.
After 35 years of doing the same job, day in, day out, I have been replaced by an electronic gadget the size of a flashlight.
And the awful thing is, he continued, I can't fault it. It can do everything I can do, and do it better, and it will never wear out!
Bob looked up for comfort but his wife had gone. She was down at the shops looking to buy one.

What do you say to comfort your non-binary friends after they get misgendered?

Their their

My wife is p**... off at me...

She told me how unhappy she is with her c-section scar and I tried to comfort her. Apparently "honey, don't worry, your t**... will cover it up" was not the right answer.

A man brings his kid with him to his office for take your kid to work day

The kid is intrigued, looking around at all the cubicles, seemingly looking for something

sfter about thirty minutes the kid begins breaking down and crying and running around, looking all over, the man comes over to comfort his kid, and asks him what's wrong

daddy, where are all the clowns you said you worked with?!?

A woman wakes up on the morning of her wedding anniversary and her husband wasn't there.

It was 2.00am and she was concerned. She searched the house until finally she found him in the basement sobbing uncontrollably.
She tried to comfort him and asked, "honey, what's the matter? "
Between sobs he answers, "Do you remember when your dad the cop caught us, underage, making out in your room?
And he threatened that if I didnt marry you immediately he would make sure I got 20 years in jail?"
"Yeah, I remember," she answered.
He sobbed, "I would have gotten out of jail today...."

Some philosopher said Change does not come from a place of comfort. , but he was wrong.

I'm always finding loose coins in my couch.

Comfort joke, Some philosopher said  Change does not come from a place of comfort. , but he was wrong.

jokes about comfort

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these comfort jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.