Comfort Room Jokes
17 comfort room jokes and hilarious comfort room puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about comfort room that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Comfort Room Short Jokes
Short comfort room jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The comfort room humour may include short hospital waiting room jokes also.
- My son asked me, Dad, can I eat the last piece of cake in the fridge? I smiled and said, Sure..." "But the dining room would probably be more comfortable.
- I went to my tailor and asked if I could try on the suit in the window. "Sure," he said, "but wouldn't it be more comfortable if you used the dressing room?"
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Comfort Room One Liners
Which comfort room one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with comfort room? I can suggest the ones about hotel room and rooms.
- 10 girls asked me to go out. By the way I was in the ladies' comfort room
Comfort Room Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about comfort room you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean washroom jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make comfort room pranks.
A comfortably old joke
A doctor runs a test on an elderly lady in the hospital and comes in to her room to read her the results.
"I have some bad news, and some more bad news. You have cancer, and you also have Alzheimer's disease"
The woman says "Well at least I don't have cancer."
Stages of man's sexuality [OC]
1. Puberty: m**... in secrecy and shame.
2. Early adulthood: comfortable m**... in your room and some casual s**... with strangers.
3. First serious relationship: wild s**... all the time.
4. First years of marriage: steady and regular s**....
5. Marriage after children: m**... in secrecy and shame.
The doctor is trustworthy
Lady patient to the Doctor inside his examination room "Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable. "
Doctor - "Trust me lady, I am a Doctor & I am a Gentleman.
Lady patient - "No that's not the issue.
Your receptionist is alone outside and my husband is neither a doctor nor a gentleman...
Gentleman
Lady patient says to Doctor inside his examination room, Doctor can you please call my husband inside, I am not feeling comfortable.
Doctor - trust me lady, I am a gentleman.
Lady patient - no that's not the issue. Your receptionist is alone outside and my husband is not a gentleman.
A woman wakes up on the morning of her wedding anniversary and her husband wasn't there.
It was 2.00am and she was concerned. She searched the house until finally she found him in the basement sobbing uncontrollably.
She tried to comfort him and asked, "honey, what's the matter? "
Between sobs he answers, "Do you remember when your dad the cop caught us, underage, making out in your room?
And he threatened that if I didnt marry you immediately he would make sure I got 20 years in jail?"
"Yeah, I remember," she answered.
He sobbed, "I would have gotten out of jail today...."
Three friends are on a road trip...
They decide to stop for the night at the only hotel in town. As they get up to the reception desk, they are informed that there is only one room left and it's a queen. The three are comfortable enough with eachother and decide the minor inconvenience is worth not driving a few hours down the road to the next hotel.
The night goes by and in the morning they have breakfast at the hotel restaurant.
The first guy says, "I had the most amazing dream last night. I got a handy from Scarlet Johansen."
The second guy remarks "that's so weird, I had a similar dream and I was getting a handy from Natalie Portman"
The third guy pipes in "you two are just weird, I dreamed I was skiing"
A Rabbi is stranded on a desert island...
A Rabbi is stranded on a desert island. After years of solitude, he is finally rescued. His years of loneliness and the island's abundant resources have let him build many creature comforts. He shows his rescuers around the island.
"Here's my dining room," he says, pointing to an area with a palm-leaf roof.
"And here's my kitchen," he says, pointing to an area by the lagoon surrounded by stones.
"And here," he says, pointing to a beautiful hut, "is my synagogue where I go pray."
The rescuers see another building of equal beauty across the island. "What building is that over there?" they ask.
"Ugh, that's the other synagogue. You wouldn't catch me dead in there!"
One morning my gorgeous 18 year old sister came
into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted.
I was a good big brother. I put a comforting arm around her, and told her that it doesn't matter, that we'll always love her, and that I thought she was the most wonderful sister in the world. Then, I dunno how it happened, but we kissed, and soon things got really passionate - clothes came off, and... we had the most amazing s**....
Sadly, it didn't last. After I came, I found out the c**... had split. She started crying again, and I got the shakes. We went downstairs, hand in hand, to break the news to dad that his adopted daughter was probably pregnant.
I have never been less amused by the words "April Fools".
So, a little boy comes home to hear his sister bawling her eyes out.
...and he goes up stairs, sets his back pack down and goes into his sisters room. "What's the matter sis? What's wrong?" To which the sister replied "Dad just broke the news to me that I am adopted. Paperwork and all." So the boy says "Well, I still love you as my sister. Nothing will ever change that." The sister found that comforting, and gave her brother a kiss. Well, one kiss turned into a few and they end up having s**..., with the revaluation that they are not related and after the funs over, the boy pulls out and sees the c**... is just destroyed. So they talk about what to do, and decide on going to their father. They put their clothes on, walk down the stairs hand in hand and before they could break the news to their dad he jumped out from around the corner and yelled APRIL FOOLS!
One night, a man got a little drunk...
One night, a man went to a bar. He got a little bit tipsy (he was smashed) and realized that he desperately had to use the bathroom. He walked up to the women at the bar and slurred out the words, "Excuse me, where is your nearest restroom."
The women advised him, "It's right down that hall to the left."
The man stumbled down the hallway, and in his drunk position, took a right rather than a left. Sitting inside of the room he had opened was a great, golden toilet. So, he did his business in it.
The next day when he woke up, he could only remember one thing: That toilet was so comfortable! So, he decided: he would go back to that bar and he would buy that solid gold toilet today!
He walked into the bar and talked to a different bartender, "Excuse me sir: Yesterday, I came in here and I used the most comfortable, solid gold toilet I have ever sat on! I demand to buy it off of you!
The bartender chuckled and yelled to the back hall: "Hey Charlie, I found that guy that took a dump in your tuba!"
A mummy balloon, daddy balloon and baby balloon are watching TV...
When the parents announce they are ready for bed, but the baby balloon is OK to stay up a little while longer. They head off to bed, and an hour later, baby balloon finishes his show, and goes to the bedroom.
As they are balloons and have no real sources of income, they live in a 1 bedroom apartment, and have to share a bed. The baby balloon tries to get into bed, but mummy balloon and daddy balloon are just so big that he can't squeeze in. So, he goes to daddy balloon, unties his knot and lets out a little air, and tries getting into bed again: Still not enough room. He then goes to mummy balloon and unties her knot and lets a little air out: A little better, but still not enough. So, he unties his own knot, lets out some air, and is able to fit comfortably into bed.
The next morning, baby balloon wakes up to find his parents are not there. He goes into the kitchen to find mummy and daddy balloon sitting at the table looking pretty angry.
Daddy balloon says, 'Son, we are pretty upset about what you did last night. You let me down, you let your mother down, but worst of all, you let yourself down.'
A man left a letter for his wife on the dining table
The letter read:
"To My Dear Wife,
You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset...I shall be home before midnight."
When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:
"My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.
He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of Math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow."
A real woman ...
A real woman ....
is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions, and give in to his most intimate desires.
She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, s**..., seductive and invincible...
No wait...
Sorry....
I'm thinking of whiskey. It's whiskey that does all that.