Comedy Jokes
155 comedy jokes and hilarious comedy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about comedy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for the best comedy jokes? We've got you covered! From the hilarious stand-up comedy routines of Comedy Central to the classic husband-wife exchanges of SNL, find the funniest comedy jokes that'll certainly bring a smile to your face. We've even got a list of the best unfunny jokes to make you laugh!
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- Short Comedy Jokes
- Comedy One Liners
- Comedy Stand Up Jokes
- Stand Up Comedy Jokes
- Comedy Shows Jokes
- New Comedy Jokes
- Comedy Central Jokes
- More Comedy Jokes
Funniest Comedy Short Jokes
Short comedy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The comedy humour may include short humor jokes also.
- What does the narcissistic cow say? "Meeeeee!"
I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome. - What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking? Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.
- I wanna do stand up comedy on a gay cruise... ...so I can open with: "Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming out."
- What's a quality you look for in a good lawyer? Lie-ability
(Just getting started in comedy and want to test a few of my jokes here). - I got booed off of the stage at the start of my comedy act for saying that I still live with my parents... That's the last time I do a gig at an orphanage.
- If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive? American comedy films.
- What's the difference between a shakespeare comedy and Fox News? One's The Taming of the Shrew, the other is the shaming of the true.
- I once tried to create a comedy routine based on the myth of Orpheus. Looking back, it was a bad idea.
- My life is like a romantic comedy Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.
> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore! - Dark Comedy A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either really terrible news or really great news.
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Comedy One Liners
Which comedy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with comedy? I can suggest the ones about comedic and sitcom.
- A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar. - comedy removed due to complaints -
- Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy. For months nobody has walked into a bar.
- Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention. Laughed more than I thought.
- Dark comedy is like food. Not everyone gets it.
- I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian I can stand up, now all I need is comedy
- Here is some comedy gold for you ,d Au
- I have heard that self deprecation is the highest form of comedy Too bad I'm not funny.
- Why did the winter solstice start a comedy show? To bring light to the darkest day.
- What's Elon Musk's favourite comedy? Bambi
- What's the winter solstice's favorite type of movie? "Light-hearted" comedies.
- A lot of comedy today is observational humor You guys ever noticed that?
- Why did the alcoholic tell bad jokes at the comedy club? He did it for the boos.
- The lights went out at a comedy convention And it became dark humor
- What do you call it when you tell a joke on top of a mountain? Peak comedy.
- My sign language comedy show got cancelled today Apparently nobody there had heard of me
Comedy Stand Up Jokes
Here is a list of funny comedy stand up jokes and even better comedy stand up puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When I was a kid, I told everyone that when I grew up, I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. They all laughed. Well, I got a job doing standup in a comedy club, and no one's laughing now.
- My friend had purchased an extra stand-up comedy ticket for me. I turned him down. After all, I could never enjoy jokes at other people's expense.
- I was at a comedy club in Russia last month and saw a decent stand up routine making fun of Putin. I didn't love the guy's jokes, but he had a great execution.
- One thing a paralyzed person can not do is? Stand up comedy
- I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour. Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.
- That his punchline comes before the joke Chuck Norris is so powerful at stand up comedy...
- Why did the chicken tell jokes in bars? Because she thought she was a stand up comedi-hen.
Sorry. - Whats the opposite of stand up comedy? A sitcom.
- What's one job Stephen hawking would be no good at? Stand up comedy.
- I told my wife I was going to do stand-up comedy She said, "You're joking"
I said, "I told you I was good"
Stand Up Comedy Jokes
Here is a list of funny stand up comedy jokes and even better stand up comedy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I've always been told that you shouldn't tell jokes at other people's expense. Which makes me question the ethics of charging people to watch stand up comedy.
- Why didn't Stephen hawking host a talk show? because he can't do stand-up comedy
- Stand up Comedy on Star Trek Yo mamma so fat… she tried to use the teleporter, but it ran out of atoms before she made it to the other side
- Apparently Colin Kaepernick is pursuing a career in comedy He's landed some acting roles but he can't do stand-up.
- would you call a guy in a wheelchair doing a stand-up comedy WHEELy good Comedy
- Why couldn't the comedian in a wheelchair get an audience? He couldn't do Stand Up comedy!
- I prefer to do my stand up comedy in airports As long as TSA and Homeland Security do their job, there's no way I'd bomb
- What did the wheelchair-bound software developer say when asked to speak at an Apple Keynote? "Sorry, but I don't do stand-up comedy."
- If a guy in a wheelchair is on stage telling jokes ... Is it still called stand-up comedy?
- A lime and banana decided to become a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves ... Key and Peele.
Comedy Shows Jokes
Here is a list of funny comedy shows jokes and even better comedy shows puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- 3 American Comedy shows walk into a bar and... This punchline is not available in your country.
Sorry about that. - What is Jeff Bezos's favourite comedy show? "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"
- A miner said he could make anyone laugh He showed me something
And I immediately burst out laughing
What was it?
A shiny yellow stone
It was comedy gold - I went to a comedy club the other night, and the comedian didn't show up. No joke.
- Robbin Williams was on a talk show in Germany They asked him, Why do you think comedy is not big in Germany?
Did you ever think you killed all the funny people?
No. - I saw Comedy Central launch a funny non-political TV show... Then I woke up
- Did you hear about Draymond Green's new comedy road show? It's like Gallagher, but instead of watermelons he only smashes kiwis.
- looking for a great stand up comedy show? just watch the GOP debate
- There's a new The President show on Comedy Central starting the 27th about Donald Trump We can just watch Fox News until then.
- What did the organic chemist say at the start of his stand-up comedy routine? Enjoy the show, I've got alkynes of jokes for you!
New Comedy Jokes
Here is a list of funny new comedy jokes and even better new comedy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful" I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.
- We just finished watching the new Disney movie, Incandescent. It was a light comedy.
- My favorite comedy TV series is returning for a new season on ESPN2. It's called The WNBA.
- I went and saw the new Karl Marx Brothers play... It was a physical comedy where everyone falls down the same flight of steps and gets an equivalent amount laughs.
- I went to the opticians today and got a pair of new glasses, my observational comedy has got a lot better.
- Adam Sandler's new comedy special isn't so bad. It really makes you appreciate your own lot in life to see someone fall so far.
- There is this new Swedish Group that mixes comedy and music, and they are really good! For those who want to check them out they're called ABBA and Costello
- Did you hear about the new Comedy Central show? a polar bear offers his commentary about current events. Its called the Cold Bear Report!
- Comedy central will be airing a new COMEDY series Fox News
- Louis c**... returned to the stage last night with a 15 minute set at the Comedy Store in New York. He needed the exposure.
Comedy Central Jokes
Here is a list of funny comedy central jokes and even better comedy central puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Facebook and basic cable Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.
- Comedy Central Comedian coming to Taft Ca's Oasis Bar November 14th
- You know what channel The Republican debate is on? I don't know man, maybe check Comedy Central?
- A sitcom about a 9/11 h**... was in the works for Comedy Central But it never made it past the pilot episode
Hilarious Fun Comedy Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about comedy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drama jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make comedy pranks.
My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.
*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and he loved to tell it every time I saw him. He knew quite a few others too, but this was always my favorite.*
A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"
He looks this way and that but doesn't see the ball, until *WHACK!* He shouts and curses and moans, holding both hands over his c**....
"Oh, you poor thing!" a woman cries, running over to assist him. She gets on her knees and starts to rub his groin with her hands. "Is that better?"
He shakes his head, so she pulls his pants down and starts rubbing it in earnest. After a few minutes, she smiles and says, "That seemed to help a lot!"
"Oh, it was wonderful!" he says. "But the ball hit my thumb!"
*
After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to try physical comedy. She said...
"You can't pull your pants down in public."
Secret To Comedy
Guy 1: Hey! Ask me "What is is the secret to comedy?"
Guy 2: Okay ... What is the sec-
Guy 1: TIMING!!!
sorry if it s**...
Hedgehogs...
Why can't they just share the hedge?
One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)
My life is like a romantic comedy...
except there's no romance and I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes.
Did you hear a bunch of surgeons are at the comedy club?
It's open Mike night.
A man is very worried about the future...
Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.
''Hold your hand out for me.''
The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''
''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''
(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)
What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted some ice cream?
Sherbert.
(I can't take credit for this amazing piece of comedy. Heard it from a friend, no idea if he came up with it or not.)
I think me life is like the Truman Show.
I was tryin' ta figure out what type a genre show it be.
I thought, "It might be a drama," but me life isn't sad enough.
I thought, "It might be an action tale," but alas, 'tis too boring.
"Then, perhaps, it be a comedy," I thought, but me life isn't funny, so I cast that idea overboard.
"Well," I thought, "it might be British."
What's a Californians favorite type of comedy?
Dry humor
There's an ISIS comedy night coming up...
I would go but i'm fairly certain they're all going to bomb.
I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.
As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, 'I have a joke'. 'Better be quick!' The anaesthetist said.
'Do you know what the key to comedy is?'
Then I smiled and passed out.
When I woke up a couple of hours later I asked the nurse to tell the anaesthetist my message: 'timing'.
I was a bit worried I just dreamed the first part but I checked with the doc and they said they got it all :)
Great success.
I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win.
But, no pun in ten did.
All my friends keep telling me "Get Out" is a must-see.
I don't know, though.... I've never really been a fan of black comedy.
Do you know how much I hate observational comedy?
This much.
What do you get when you combine tragedy and comedy?
American politics.
This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet...
Acronym
Based
Comedy
Doesn't
Ever
Feel
Good
Honestly,
I
Just
Keep
Lamenting
My
Negative
Opinion,
Perhaps
Questioning
Reality
Serves
The
Universe
Very
Well
...
Xylophone, yak, zebra.
I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.
She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.
The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.
Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material
They say one-liners are the lowest form of comedy
That's why I only tell my jokes to midgets
Sean Connery only asked his wife to sit on his face once.
** comedy silence **
What's a Russian's favorite form of comedy?
Tsarcasm :D
Laughing Dog
A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it.
When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said:
" I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film.
"So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"
What is the most important part of comedy? The Timing.
... Oops
Why's it so hard to perform comedy in a liquor store?
Because you always only get booze
There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...
...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...
timing
what's the most important thing in comedy?
Anti-vaxers musty love comedy,
'cause they just get everything.
A programmer tries his hand at stand-up comedy: "Forward-slash forward-slash a man walks into a bar..."
A heckler yells at him: "Why do you keep doing that weird forward-slash thing?!"
He responds: "Don't you know? The best jokes are always in the comments."
I told my missus that I was thinking about a career in comedy.
She laughed.
An audio technician becomes a comedian
An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.
He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.
At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.
That was the last night he ever did comedy.
The feedback ruined it.
I went to a comedy night at a haunted mansion
I got booed off the stage
A lot of people consider me to be the margarine of comedy.
I tell a joke and they can't believe it's not better.
A basic rule of comedy is that if you possess a trait, you can joke about it. Like if you're fat, you can joke about fat people. If you're black, you can joke about black people
So, a 25-year old v**... walks into a bar..
A dairy farmer got thrown out of the comedy club last night.
They said his jokes were too cheesy
[Prop comedy] When you're at a formal event,
roll up both ends of your tie and ask, "Which end do you think's gonna unfurl the fastest?"
After they make their guess (or sarcastic remark)--pause for effect--create the atmosphere-- and let them drop!
They'll look at the tie first, then slowly pan up to your goofy grin..
and that's when you raise your arms and exclaim, "It's a ***TIE***!!"
How does a cannibal comedian practice comedy?
He uses different techniques to probe where the most humerus content is.
I went to the gym to practice my comedy routine but nobody found it funny.
It was a tough crowd.
What's the secret to comedy? Timing.
What do you call a drawing of a clown?
A comedy sketch.
The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"
Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.
The day on which the paper announced the contest winner finally arrived! I scanned, and then carefully read the full-page of submissions, but the truth stared me in the face. Of my submissions that should have won, no pun in ten did.
Why are you so funny?
Person 1: Why are you so funny?
Person 2: Well, comedy = tragedy + time...
Why did I down a whole bottle of laxatives at a comedy show last night?
For s**... and giggles
Due to the lack of space, the city morgue and the comedy club will be in the same building
This Friday is open Mike night.
RIP Barry Cryer - a true comedy great
From his obituary:
> Cryer, the master of the comedy sketch and the instant one-liner, was once asked by the Yorkshire Post for his favourite joke. He recalled one he had told in a student r**... in 1955.
>"A man drives down a country lane and runs over a cockerel. He knocks at a nearby farmhouse door and a woman answers.
>"'I appear to have killed your cockerel,' he says. 'I'd like to replace it.' The woman replies: 'Please yourself - the hens are round the back.'"
I saw this one reposted here earlier this week..
The closest I have come to being a professional comedian.
At the farmers market they told me ears of corn were a dozen for $10 or a dollar each. I said "ooh so you've got pirate corn?!?!". And he gave me a quizzical look... I said "It's a buccaneer!" And he groaned and gave me a free ear of corn.
I got paid for my comedy, that means I'm a professional right??
I just watched a beautiful n**... woman do stand-up comedy.
Never laughed so hard in my life.
When a comedian looks down on everyone
That's peak comedy.