Comedy Jokes

Following is our collection of sitcom puns and hillarious one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Comedy jokes for adults, dirty comedian jokes and clean improv dad gags for kids.

The Best Comedy Puns

A feminist and a Muslim walk into a bar.

- comedy removed due to complaints -

What does the narcissistic cow say?

"Meeeeee!"

I wrote this.
I'm now a comedy writer.
You are welcome.

I just successfully pulled-off the 'key to comedy' joke around my surgery.

As I felt the anaesthetic starting to kick in I said, 'I have a joke'. 'Better be quick!' The anaesthetist said.
'Do you know what the key to comedy is?'
Then I smiled and passed out.

When I woke up a couple of hours later I asked the nurse to tell the anaesthetist my message: 'timing'.

I was a bit worried I just dreamed the first part but I checked with the doc and they said they got it all :)

Great success.

What is the difference between standup comedy, and motivational speaking?

Which side of the mic the depressed people are on.

I wanna do stand up comedy on a gay cruise...

...so I can open with: "Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming out."


Last night I went to a comedy and philosophy convention.

Laughed more than I thought.

Dark comedy is like food.

Not everyone gets it.

I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian

I can stand up, now all I need is comedy

If Adam Sandler, Rob Schneider and Dennis Dugan are in a plane and the plane crashes, who will survive?

American comedy films.

Here is some comedy gold for you

,d Au

What's the difference between a Shakespeare comedy and Fox News?

One's The Taming of the Shrew, the other is the shaming of the true.


My life is like a romantic comedy

Except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes.

> HA! Hilarious and original! Encore!

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

Dark Comedy

A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she's seeing someone. It's either really terrible news or really great news.

Laughing Dog

A man walks into the cinema with a dog. They start watching the movie (a comedy) and laugh and laugh all the way through it.
When the lights go up, a woman who was sitting in the row behind tapped the man on the shoulder and said:
" I must say I was really surprised to hear your dog laughing all through the film.
"So was I" replied the man, " He hated the book!"

I have heard that self deprecation is the highest form of comedy

Too bad I'm not funny.

My Gramps just passed away. This was his favorite joke to tell.

*Sorry for the meta of this, I'm still reeling a little. I post two or three (or ten--sorry for breaking rules) jokes on this sub every day. A lot of them are simply awful, but they're all original, and my Gramps was a huge inspiration for me becoming a comedy "writer." But this is an old joke, and he loved to tell it every time I saw him. He knew quite a few others too, but this was always my favorite.*

A man is out on a golf course, when he hears someone shout "FORE!"

He looks this way and that but doesn't see the ball, until *WHACK!* He shouts and curses and moans, holding both hands over his crotch.

"Oh, you poor thing!" a woman cries, running over to assist him. She gets on her knees and starts to rub his groin with her hands. "Is that better?"

He shakes his head, so she pulls his pants down and starts rubbing it in earnest. After a few minutes, she smiles and says, "That seemed to help a lot!"

"Oh, it was wonderful!" he says. "But the ball hit my thumb!"

*

I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.

She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.

A basic rule of comedy is that if you possess a trait, you can joke about it. Like if you're fat, you can joke about fat people. If you're black, you can joke about black people

So, a 25-year old virgin walks into a bar..


Had to stop following Business Insider for the headline: "Amy Schumer's new comedy movie is shockingly awful"

I can't trust anybody who finds that shocking.

The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

What's Elon Musk's favourite comedy?

Bambi

A programmer tries his hand at stand-up comedy: "Forward-slash forward-slash a man walks into a bar..."

A heckler yells at him: "Why do you keep doing that weird forward-slash thing?!"

He responds: "Don't you know? The best jokes are always in the comments."

3 American Comedy shows walk into a bar and...

This punchline is not available in your country.

Sorry about that.

A lot of comedy today is observational humor

You guys ever noticed that?

I once entered ten puns in a comedy competition hoping one would win.

But, no pun in ten did.

My friend had purchased an extra stand-up comedy ticket for me. I turned him down.

After all, I could never enjoy jokes at other people's expense.

One thing a paralyzed person can not do is?

Stand up comedy

What's a Russian's favorite form of comedy?

Tsarcasm :D

Sean Connery only asked his wife to sit on his face once.

** comedy silence **

I think me life is like the Truman Show.

I was tryin' ta figure out what type a genre show it be.

I thought, "It might be a drama," but me life isn't sad enough.

I thought, "It might be an action tale," but alas, 'tis too boring.

"Then, perhaps, it be a comedy," I thought, but me life isn't funny, so I cast that idea overboard.

"Well," I thought, "it might be British."

What do you get when you combine tragedy and comedy?

American politics.

My life is like a romantic comedy...

except there's no romance and I'm the only one who laughs at my jokes.

There's an ISIS comedy night coming up...

I would go but i'm fairly certain they're all going to bomb.

I know many handicapped people with a great sense of humour.

Shame they don't do stand-up comedy.

What did Ernie say when Bert asked him if he wanted some ice cream?

Sherbert.

(I can't take credit for this amazing piece of comedy. Heard it from a friend, no idea if he came up with it or not.)

This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet...

Acronym


Based


Comedy

Doesn't

Ever

Feel


Good

Honestly,

I

Just

Keep

Lamenting

My

Negative

Opinion,

Perhaps

Questioning

Reality


Serves

The


Universe

Very

Well

...


Xylophone, yak, zebra.

Facebook and basic cable

Reading Facebook feels like I'm watching basic cable in a hotel: All I want is Comedy Central, but all I can find is the Food Network, workout infomercials and Fox News.

What's a Californians favorite type of comedy?

Dry humor

After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to try physical comedy. She said...

"You can't pull your pants down in public."

Secret To Comedy

Guy 1: Hey! Ask me "What is is the secret to comedy?"

Guy 2: Okay ... What is the sec-

Guy 1: TIMING!!!



sorry if it sucks

Did you hear a bunch of surgeons are at the comedy club?

It's open Mike night.

A lot of people consider me to be the margarine of comedy.

I tell a joke and they can't believe it's not better.

Why's it so hard to perform comedy in a liquor store?

Because you always only get booze

Anti-vaxers musty love comedy,

'cause they just get everything.

Louis CK returned to the stage last night with a 15 minute set at the Comedy Store in New York.

He needed the exposure.

What is the most important part of comedy? The Timing.

... Oops

What's one job Stephen hawking would be no good at?

Stand up comedy.

Whats the opposite of stand up comedy?

A sitcom.

What is Jeff Bezos's favourite comedy show?

"Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?"

The lights went out at a comedy convention

And it became dark humor

I went to a comedy night at a haunted mansion

I got booed off the stage

I told my wife I was going to do stand-up comedy

She said, "You're joking"

I said, "I told you I was good"

Hedgehogs...

Why can't they just share the hedge?


One of my favourite jokes to come out of the Edinburgh Comedy festival :-)

They say one-liners are the lowest form of comedy

That's why I only tell my jokes to midgets

A miner said he could make anyone laugh

He showed me something

And I immediately burst out laughing

What was it?

A shiny yellow stone

It was comedy gold

An audio technician becomes a comedian

An audio technician is on stage at an open mic night in a comedy club.

He seems to be absolutely crushing the audience with witty and outrageous jokes.

At the end of his time he gets to do a mic drop.

That was the last night he ever did comedy.

The feedback ruined it.

A sitcom about a 9/11 hijacker was in the works for Comedy Central

But it never made it past the pilot episode

Do you know how much I hate observational comedy?

This much.

A man is very worried about the future...

Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.

''Hold your hand out for me.''

The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''

''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''

(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)

I told my missus that I was thinking about a career in comedy.

She laughed.

Why didn't Stephen hawking host a talk show?

because he can't do stand-up comedy

Yesterday, I had a blast roasting this random fat guy in a comedy club

the audience loved it but some said it was a little too spicy for their taste.

All my friends keep telling me "Get Out" is a must-see.

I don't know, though.... I've never really been a fan of black comedy.

timing

what's the most important thing in comedy?

I went to an Arab-American comedy night

there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football. " I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus.. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see someone else's god? "

I went to a comedy club the other night, and the comedian didn't show up.

No joke.

A boy asks a magician...

A boy asks a magician: how did you get into comedy and magic?

The magician: It was because of my parents, my mom made me and my dad disappeared.

I tried to come up with a math joke...

but all my ideas were derivative
and the punchline didn't add up.
Anyway, comedy has no absolute value.
Your jokes are sum of the best,
but minus not very funny
because I'm a perfect square.
I halve one, I guess...
but you're too obtuse to get it,
and trying to simplify it
has left me divided
and at my limit.

What's the difference between comedy and political correctness?

One is making light of a dark situation.

The other is making dark of a light situation.

What do comedians do when they get tired of doing standup comedy?

Sitcoms

Comedy is like a baby shower

Useless if the delivery goes wrong

They all laughed when I said I was going into comedy

Haha, they're not laughing now!

Rick and morty recently surpassed Big Bang Theory as the highest rated comedy on television...

In other news, apparently Big Bang Theory is supposed to be funny.

I sometimes do stand-up comedy for a leper colony.

My jokes have them all cracking up.

There is an abundance of slapstick jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 75 funniest jokes and comedy puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any comedic witze you can hear about comedy.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes