Comedian Jokes

Funniest Comedian Short Jokes

Short comedian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The comedian humour may include short stand up comic jokes also.

1. When she was growing up, everybody laughed when Amy Schumer said she wanted to be a comedian... Nobody's laughing now.
2. I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
3. A lawyer, comedian and a war hero walk into a bar. The bartender says, what can I get for you, Mr Zelensky?
   Credit to u/DrDerpberg
4. Why do standup comedians perform poorly in Hawaii? Because the audience only responds in a low ha
5. When Amy Schumer was a child, people laughed at her when she said she'd be a comedian No one's laughing now.
6. People use to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian Well, no one is laughing now.
7. Vladimir Zelenski is a backwards politician. Most politicians act like heroes to get elected and comedians while in office.
8. Everybody laughed at me when I said I was going to be a standup comedian. They're not laughing now.
9. What's the difference between Ukraine and Russia? ukraine's president is a comedian.
   Russia's president is a clown.
10. When I was a kid everyone laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian... well no ones laughing now.

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Comedian One Liners

Which comedian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with comedian? I can suggest the ones about comedic and comedy stand up.

1. Two countries go to war... Ones president is a comedian, and the other is a joke.
2. They used to laugh when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now!
3. What's a comedians least favorite drink? Booze
4. Zelensky is the best comedian He turned the whole Russia into joke
5. They laughed at me when I said I will become a comedian Well, they are not laughing now.
6. A lawyer, comedian, and a soldier walk into a bar Zelensky is his name
7. The punchline comes first. How can you be sure that a comedian has traveled back in time?
8. I'm halfway through becoming a stand up comedian I can stand up, now all I need is comedy
9. What do Putin, Batman and Will Smith have in common? They all attacked a comedian
10. Why Did The Alcoholic Comedian Quit Performing? He couldn't handle the boos.
11. When they start with the punchline. How do you know if your friend is a bad comedian?
12. What do you call a group of senior Japanese comedians? Comic Sans
13. Who is Greta Thunbergs favorite comedian. Amy schumer because she recycles all her jokes!
14. I told my mom I wanted to become a stand up comedian. She laughed.
15. As a blind comedian, I've been trying to understand my audience. But who am I kidding?

Stand Up Comedian Jokes

Here is a list of funny stand up comedian jokes and even better stand up comedian puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Comedian in Russia. I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
• I broke up with my girlfriend by text last night, it went pretty ugly... She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...
  
• When I was a kid, I told everyone that when I grew up, I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. They all laughed. Well, I got a job doing standup in a comedy club, and no one's laughing now.
• A Russian stand up comedian was joking about the Putin. Jokes were good. I liked the execution.
• A stand-up comedian tells a joke about a newly-discovered STI that takes ten years to show symptoms. \* Slow clap *
• I Was in Russia a few weeks ago And I was watching a stand up comedian making jokes about Putin. To be honest I didnt really care for the jokes, but I liked the execution.
• I quit being a stand up comedian... Every time I performed people would just laugh at me
• I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin and communism The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
• Why didn't the alcoholic became a comedian? Because he couldn't stand up.
• They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a stand-up comedian. Well, no one is laughing now.

Bad Comedian Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad comedian jokes and even better bad comedian puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How do you tell the difference between good Comedians and bad ones? The Bad ones Punch up the screwline.
• Being a comedian is really bad for my anxiety Whenever I'm on stage people keep laughing at me
• Why are gay comedians so bad at telling jokes? Because they can't keep a straight face.
• How many bad comedians does it take to change a lightbulb? One.
• What's a similarity between a guy in a wheelchair and a bad comedian They can't do standup
• When you put the punchline before the rest of the joke. How do you know when you're a bad comedian?
• Why do people with no arms make bad comedians? Because they haven't got a funny bone in their body.
• What's the difference between a German shepherd and a bad comedian? Nothing, they always come back with the same schtick.
• Why was the horse comedian so bad at stand-up? He kept forgetting his bit!
• Did you hear about the Eye Doctor who changed professions to become a comedian? He made a spectacle of himself.
  .
  ok its bad. Apologies in advance.

Famous Comedian Jokes

Here is a list of funny famous comedian jokes and even better famous comedian puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I used to rip off famous comedians' jokes to post on Reddit for easy karma. I still do, but I used to, too.
• Everyone had heard of comedian Bill Burr. Most people are unaware of his famous lumberjack brother, Tim.
• Comedian Gallagher, Famous for Smashing Watermelons, dies at 76 He wasn't as good as Smashing Pumpkins, but he made a splash.
• Legendary comedian Steven Wright really became famous when he helped a woman give birth in a portable toilet. He was known for his Bedpan delivery.
• I met a famous American comedian on a White House tour I walked up to him, tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Hey, I thought you retired in 2009?"
• An artist was producing an exhibit featuring portraits of famous black comedians... He couldn't get a copyright however, due to his collection containing Pryor art.
• Q: Who is the most famous comedian in the Bible? A: Samson, because he brought the house down.
• TIL: A famous comedian's close family member was charge with killing a dog and spreading it on his Tacos! It appears... Great Dane Cook's Great Grandfather Grated and cooked a great Great Dane.
• Which rabbit is a famous comedian?
  Bob Hop.
• Two years ago, I've shook with famous comedian and I haven't washed my hand since. It smells funny.

Comedian Lines Jokes

Here is a list of funny comedian lines jokes and even better comedian lines puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a procrastinating comedian? Uhh I don't know, I'll come up with the punch line later
• I saw some horrible comedian making jokes about the Boston Marathon... Some lines must not be crossed.
  ​
  (Source: Anthony Jeselnik I think)
• Two comedians are walking on a street "Are you more of a set-up or punch-line kind of person?", asks the first.
  The second replies: "Oh, definitely a set-up person."
• I went to this party full of stand up comedians The only way to get a drink was to wait for the punch line.
• What did the NFL player say to the comedian after hearing a cruel joke about football? That was an offensive line, man.
• A joke for all the Math-Heads out there There were 5 performers standing in a line. The first guy was a singer. The second, an actor. The guy in the middle was the comedian.
• What was Rob Bartlett's go-to line in his WackyPaki comedian routine? Take my wife, if you would be so kind.
• Comedian In A Fight!! What does a comedian use in a fight?
  A Punch Line

Comedian Wife Jokes

Here is a list of funny comedian wife jokes and even better comedian wife puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• One day a stand up comedian went to a paraplegic convention, after he came home frustrated and his wife asked why. He said everyone was laughing but I didn't get one standing ovation!
• I always told my wife that I wanted to be a comedian She told me a great joke that will get people's attention
  She said, I'm pregnant
• What did the cuckold comedian say after he said, "take my wife, please..."? "I'll be here all weak."

Playful Comedian Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about comedian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stand up comedy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make comedian pranks.