Following is our collection of yakov puns and comedic one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Comedian jokes for adults, dirty heckler jokes and clean entertainer dad gags for kids.
After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.
Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.
Nobody's laughing now.
Well they're not laughing now!
Booze
No one's laughing now.
Well, no one is laughing now.
They're not laughing now.
well no ones laughing now.
Well, they are not laughing now.
He said, "You can't be serious."
I said, "I know."
Why did the banana go to the hospital?
Because he wasn't peeling very well.
They're not laughing now.
I can stand up, now all I need is comedy
How can you be sure that a comedian has traveled back in time?
His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.
Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.
His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.
Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.
He couldn't handle the boos.
How do you know if your friend is a bad comedian?
You might remember comedian Yakov Smirnoff. When he first came to the United States from Russia he was not prepared for the incredible variety of instant products available in American grocery stores.
He says, "On my first shopping trip, I saw powdered milk -- you just add water, and you get milk. Then I saw powdered orange juice -- you just add water, and you get orange juice. And then I saw baby powder, and I thought to my self, "What a country!"
Two of my favorites are:
1. "If I had a dollar for every existentialist moment I've ever had...Does money even matter?" - Can't remember the comedian.
2. "If I had a quarter every time a hobo asked me for spare change, I'd still say no" - Bo Burnham
Whenever I'm on stage people keep laughing at me
She got up from the couch, started beating me with her phone...
The boy said, "Mom? I have something to tell you"
"Go ahead", the mother said. "I promise not to laugh."
*The boy wanted to be a comedian.*
A red bucket.
Whats blue, looks like a bucket, shaped like a bucket and holds water?
A red bucket in disguise.
My 8 year old son...the comedian.
Amy schumer because she recycles all her jokes!
She said, "Don't quit your day job."
I said, "Thanks, I'm a comedian."
"I feel like my girl will be an athlete, she kicks so much in there it's unbelieavable!"
"Oh, I'm sure mine will be a comedian."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You wouldn't get it. It's an inside joke."
A man walks in on his son and finds him jerking off. The father looked at his son and said "Son, if you keep doing that, you'll go blind!" The boy looked backed at his dad and said "Dad, i'm over here."
(I heard a comedian tell this joke but I don't remember who.)
She laughed.
But who am I kidding?
They say he Israeli funny.
They laughed. Parents are so supportive...
So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.
And they all laughed at me. Now I'm a comedian, and they're not laughing anymore.
You can't imagine how far those kenyans will walk.
[source: philip geubels, Belgian comedian]
They can only make inside jokes.
\* Slow clap *
...it didn't start that way, but she brought pepper spray.
*Credit to America's Got Talent comedian (I don't remember his name)
One is a hollow cylinder, the other is a silly Hollander.
I'll see myself out.
I'll be here all weak
I don't see them laughing now.
It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.
Whenever I tell a joke people just laugh at me.
Carlos Mencia
...it's okay, you probably wouldn't have liked it, anyway.
sorry if I didn't make you laugh, I'm not a co***median***
Every time I performed people would just laugh at me
Consistent in their execution.
He literally built and ended his own career with his bare hands.
But I have a tremendous fear of being laughed at.
No one's laughing now.
How do you know when you're a bad comedian?
He was malarious.
Because the audience gave him the clap
a lot of my jokes revolve around short people. However, after receiving multiple complaints, ive decided to stop making short jokes now.
I'm above that.
Maybe that's why they get paid less.
All credit to Sean Lock comedian.
Everyone just laughed at me.
A man rings his gran and asks how her doctor's appointment went.
"He hit on you? No Gran, I'm sure he was just being nice."
A few seconds pause.
"No Gran, he said you had acute angina."
Her peas
[Got this from a comedian at The Improv last night. Forgot his name.]
"No one will appreciate your jokes once you're *dad.*"
I told them that we live in a world where a comedian either climbs to be a legend or lives long enough to start using puns... and I chose the ladder.
Because he couldn't stand up.
Because it's a co-median ^_^
Sadly, none of my jokes are noteworthy...
His material is terrible, but his delivery is amazing!
Nobody's laughing now...
Well, no one is laughing now.
Lost a bet and had to grow a mustache.
Co-worker: "Hey booskadoo247, how do you like your mustache?"
booskado247: "It's growing on me."
Accidental Comedian strikes again!
Many have not heard of his lumberjack brother Tim, he is one of the best in the world.
I hear his jokes killed.
I was an only child....eventually.
(From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)
Well, they aren't laughing now.
... but he has a lot of work to do on his delivery
not funny
If a former 80's Russian comedian went out and bought some off-brand vodka. Would that be Yakov Smirnoff buying knock-off Smirnoff?
Well, no one is laughing now
There is an abundance of hilarious jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 75 funniest jokes and comedian puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any joke witze you can hear about comedian.
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.