Comeback Jokes

What are some Comeback jokes?

So my wife said to me, "I swear, it's like all men share one brain"

I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain

Why is Jesus easy to insult?

It takes him 3 days to comeback.

Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...

He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.

Annoying Husband

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.

When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could heard deep into the night the old man would shout,"When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and comeback and haunt you for the rest of your life."

Neighbours feared him.They believed he practised black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighbourhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, be died of a heart attack when he was 68.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbours, concerned for her safety asked. "Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come hack to haunt you for the rest of your life?"

The wife put down her drink and said, "Let him dig. I had him buried upside down."

What's a comeback that's twice as good as "no u"?

No w

Your face makes onions cry.

I heard reincarnation...

...is making a comeback.

I’m not a nerd, I’m just smarter than you.

I love what you’ve done with your hair.

How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

You’re the reason God created the middle finger.

Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Oh my god!

It speaks!

They say invisible ink is making a comeback

I can't see it happening

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it goes out for milk and doesn't comeback.

You look so pretty. Not at all gross, today.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil.

Funny Comeback

Teacher: where is your homework?
Kid: at home.
Teacher: why is it at home?
Kid: it's called HOME work for a reason.
Teacher: are you being smart with me!
Kid: this IS school isn't it? Aren't you supposed to be smart.

I know you are but what am I?

I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.

Your face is just fine but we’ll have to put a bag over that personality.

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

Don’t worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.

If you’re going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.

Don’t worry about me. Worry about your eyebrows.

If your brain was dynamite, there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

You are like a cloud.

When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.

I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.

Heads up!

I heard boomerangs are making a comeback.

You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.

It’s impossible to underestimate you.

Go back to Party City, where you belong!

comeback is real!

A professor and a fool

A professor was walking along a very narrow hall when he came face to face with a rival.
The passage way was too narrow for two to pass.
The rival, pulling himself up to his full height, said with a sneer,
I never make way for fools!

Smiling, the Gracious Professor stepped aside and with a bow replied, I Always Do.

What is slowly making a comeback?

The autistic child i just insulted.

Check your lipstick before you come for me.

The only way my husband would ever get hurt during an activity is if the TV exploded.

You are so full of shit, the toilet’s jealous.

Hold still. I’m trying to imagine you with personality.

Keep rolling your eyes, you might eventually find a brain.

Her teeth were so bad she could eat an apple through a fence.

Light travels faster than sound which is why you seemed bright until you spoke.

Comeback Joke

* nerds phone rings in class *
Cool Guy - awww, was that your mommy?
* whole class laughs *
Nerd Guy - nope, it was yours.
* whole class is silent *

How to make Comeback puns?

We have collected gags and puns about Comeback to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Comeback? If Yes here are a lot more one liners and funny Comeback pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes