The Best 35 Come Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Come jokes. There are some come jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these come puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Come Jokes and Puns

Comedian Jeff Dunham has been accused of sexual assault

After allegations from his coworkers saying that he's been fisting them for decades.

Just look up his Youtube channel if you want to see evidence of this abuse. Millions have just sat by and watched while these poor souls suffered through tremendous pain right in-front of them.

Comey: He's guilty

Democrats: He's guilty

Trump: I'm guilty

Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this

What's a comedians least favorite drink?

Booze

A Comedian in Russia.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin. The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

Everyone knows comedian Bill Burr, most don't realize he has a huge family with lots of talent.

His mother, Barb, is a famous hair stylist.

Rob, his brother is in jail for theft.

His sister Cally is a great gunsmith.

Lastly, don't forget about his cousin the famous lumberjack, Tim.

Here is some comedy gold for you

,d Au

There was a comedy club called "The Joke"...

...that had amazing popularity. It wasn't because of the humor the comedians on stage offered, but due to an extremely delicious fruit punch that the establishment sold. It was so popular that people would gather into a queue around the block just to try the stuff. After a while, however, people stopped coming because of the crowding, and the club went out of business. If only the Joke's punch line wasn't so long...

Being a comedian is really bad for my anxiety

Whenever I'm on stage people keep laughing at me

saw a comedian in Russia making fun of Putin

The jokes weren't great, but I liked the execution

Three comedians walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll it be, guys?"

The observational comic replies, "Isn't this just typical!" The slapstick comedian slips and bangs his head on the bar. Then the absurdist comedian says, "This joke is well-structured in a formal sense but not particularly funny."

A comedian was getting attacked for his routine being too sexist

So, he replaced the word "women" with "white, rich, republican women". The audience stopped complaining.

You can explore come reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean come dad jokes. There are also come puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why don't comedians like being quarantined?

They can only make inside jokes.

The comedy industry is ridiculously sexist.

Zach Galifinakis can tell a joke to a full theatre and the audience would love it. If Amy Schumer told the same joke a week later in the same theatre to the same audience, she'd be accused of stealing material

I'm a comedian with muscular dystrophy

I'll be here all weak

What's a comeback that's twice as good as "no u"?

No w

Comedian Lee Nelson threw money at Sepp Blatter at a FIFA conference as a protest.

It backfired as he now has to host the 2026 World Cup in his back garden.

Your face makes onions cry.

You’re the reason God created the middle finger.

I love what you’ve done with your hair.

How do you get it to come out of your nostrils like that?

I’m not a nerd, I’m just smarter than you.

Oh my god!

It speaks!

Your secrets are always safe with me. I never even listen when you tell me them.

I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

As a comedian, I see no reason to go on stage

They're just gonna laugh at me.

Being a 6'3 comedian...

a lot of my jokes revolve around short people. However, after receiving multiple complaints, ive decided to stop making short jokes now.

I'm above that.

Why did the comedian go to doctor?

Because the audience gave him the clap

You look so pretty. Not at all gross, today.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

I was at a comedy club in Russia last month and saw a decent stand up routine making fun of Putin.

I didn't love the guy's jokes, but he had a great execution.

You just might be why the middle finger was invented in the first place.

You have so many gaps in your teeth it looks like your tongue is in jail.

You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.

I see no evil, and I definitely don’t hear your evil.

I know you are but what am I?

Don’t worry, the first 40 years of childhood are always the hardest.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the come puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working come piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes