The Best 39 Comcast Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Comcast jokes. There are some comcast subscriber jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these comcast isp puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Comcast Jokes and Puns

The average person spends about 6 months of their life waiting at a stop light, 25 years of their life sleeping...

and 3 years of their life waiting on the phone with Comcast.

Why does everyone hate Comcast so much?

ill let you know in a bit, I'm on hold

The CEO of Comcast dies and goes to heaven...

Comcast joke, The CEO of Comcast dies and goes to heaven...

Today I got a good deal from Comcast.

Why did North Korea lose Internet?

Because they switched to Comcast.

Comcast Technical Support

Made a lot of friends on Valentines Day!

All of them girls! Strangely the phone numbers don't exist or connect to comcast.

New friends are fun!

Comcast joke, Made a lot of friends on Valentines Day!

How to win the war on drugs

1) legalize all drugs.
2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service.

What was Hitlers only regret?

Not working for Comcast.

Comcast has announced they are giving all customers a free month of service and increasing internet speeds permanently.

Sometimes I think I have the worst job in the world...

... and then I remember there are people who work in PR for Comcast.

You can explore comcast verizon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean comcast fcc dad jokes. There are also comcast puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

If you want to eliminate the drug problem legalize the drugs....

....let Comcast Customer Service be responsible for selling them.

What's the worst part about having Comcast internet?


My friend asked out a girl that works for Comcast

"Do I need to schedule a date window? Like sometime between 1 and 3 or 6 to 9?"

Made me laugh, thought you guys might enjoy it too

Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory?

He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."

A man gets his Comcast bill through the mail.

He calls Comcast and complains that he has an eye problem. The operator asks "what does the eye problem have to do with paying your bill?" The man responds, " well, I don't see myself paying this bill."

Comcast joke, A man gets his Comcast bill through the mail.

Comcast opens an airline.

The airplane only goes full speed to certain, partner airports and if the airplane flies further than expected, you're charged per mile.

What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?

Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

The Comcast repairman asked if he could use my bathroom.

I guess he had to cut some cable.

What's something Comcast is giving you, besides crappy service?


What's a pirates least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet service has been disconnected due to terms of service violations and excessive downloading. Please return modem and accessories to your nearest Comcast location.



Dunno why people like to associate Comcast with the Nazis

It's not like they're the fascist out there.

A message from Comcast...

Thank you United Airlines!

What's a pirates least favorite letter

Dear user,
your internet access has ben cut of due to illegal usage
yours truly


supports net neutrality

Have you heard of the new sex position called the "Comcast"?

You stay in for the entire day but nobody comes.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell snails, Home Depot sell software, or Comcast sell sex?

McDonald's is a fast food restaurant.
Home Depot sells hardware.
Comcast doesn't charge extra to screw you.

The only time Comcast is fast is...

when they're driving away from your house after an installation.

Comcast's newest commercial really gave me a laugh.

They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.

Are there two companies named Comcast?

What do Comcast and Nazis have in common?

What goes up, and never comes down?

Your Comcast Bill.

Prostitution is a more honest business than Comcast...

...Although they both get paid to screw people.

Comcast took away my favorite channels

I'm in tiers

Why are prisons banned from using Comcast Xfinity?

Because then their cells would have no bars.

[OC] So a Comcast technician asks a woman on a date

Surprisingly, she says yes. He says "Great! Be at your house on Tuesday and I'll pick you up anywhere from 11am to 6pm." - Inspired by my recent internet installation experience.

In the next Marvel movie I hear that Ironman, Captain America and the others will team up to battle Comcast .

It is called Avengers Xfinity Wars!

I should get an award for the worst internet.

It wouldn't be special because of the other 300 million Americans who also have Comcast though.

I've been a bad girl, she said, I need to be punished.

So I signed her up for a Comcast account.

What do Comcast and and an M1 Garand have in common?


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the comcast download jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working comcast providers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes