Comcast Jokes
46 comcast jokes and hilarious comcast puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about comcast that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Comcast Short Jokes
Short comcast jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The comcast humour may include short download jokes also.
- How to win the war on drugs 1) legalize all drugs.
2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service. - In the next Marvel movie I hear that Ironman, Captain America and the others will team up to battle Comcast . It is called Avengers Xfinity Wars!
- I've been a bad girl, she said, I need to be punished. So I signed her up for a Comcast account.
- Why are prisons banned from using Comcast Xfinity? Because then their cells would have no bars.
- My friend asked out a girl that works for Comcast "Do I need to schedule a date window? Like sometime between 1 and 3 or 6 to 9?"
Made me laugh, thought you guys might enjoy it too - Comcast opens an airline. The airplane only goes full speed to certain, partner airports and if the airplane flies further than expected, you're charged per mile.
- Why is the founder of Comcast going to purgatory? He met St. Peter at the pearly gates and St. Peter said was, "Please hold. Your soul is very important to us."
- The average person spends about 6 months of their life waiting at a stop light, 25 years of their life sleeping... and 3 years of their life waiting on the phone with Comcast.
- The only time Comcast is fast is... when they're driving away from your house after an installation.
- I should get an award for the worst internet. It wouldn't be special because of the other 300 million Americans who also have Comcast though.
Share These Comcast Jokes With Friends
Comcast One Liners
Which comcast one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with comcast? I can suggest the ones about upgrade and combine.
- What goes up, and never comes down? Your Comcast Bill.
- Today I got a good deal from Comcast.
- Comcast supports net neutrality
- What's the worst part about having Comcast internet? Loading...
- Comcast's Customer Service ba dum tsss
- The CEO of Comcast dies and goes to heaven...
- What was Hitlers only regret? Not working for Comcast.
- A message from Comcast... Thank you United Airlines!
- Why does everyone hate Comcast so much? ill let you know in a bit, I'm on hold
- Comcast took away my favorite channels I'm in tiers
- What do Comcast and and an M1 Garand have in common? Ping.
- Comcast Technical Support
- Why did North Korea lose Internet? Because they switched to Comcast.
- Unpopular opinion: I like Comcast
- Why do Native Americans wear feathers? So they don't get accused of working for Comcast

Amusing & Witty Comcast Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about comcast you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ads jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make comcast pranks.
A man gets his Comcast bill through the mail.
He calls Comcast and complains that he has an eye problem. The operator asks "what does the eye problem have to do with paying your bill?" The man responds, " well, I don't see myself paying this bill."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Have you heard of the new s**... position called the "Comcast"?
You stay in for the entire day but nobody comes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dunno why people like to associate Comcast with the n**...
It's not like they're the fascist out there.
[OC] So a Comcast technician asks a woman on a date
Surprisingly, she says yes. He says "Great! Be at your house on Tuesday and I'll pick you up anywhere from 11am to 6pm." - Inspired by my recent internet installation experience.
Comcast's newest commercial really gave me a laugh.
They boasted their fast internet speeds, lower prices, and amazing customer service. Not to mention how they boasted supporting net neutrality.
Are there two companies named Comcast?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why doesn't McDonald's sell snails, Home Depot sell software, or Comcast sell s**...?
McDonald's is a fast food restaurant.
Home Depot sells hardware.
Comcast doesn't charge extra to screw you.
Made a lot of friends on Valentines Day!
All of them girls! Strangely the phone numbers don't exist or connect to comcast.
New friends are fun!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Comcast and n**... have in common?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's something Comcast is giving you, besides c**... service?
TB
The Comcast repairman asked if he could use my bathroom.
I guess he had to cut some cable.
What's the difference between the armed forces and Comcast?
Nobody ever says "Thank you for your service" to the latter.

