Combat Jokes

58 combat jokes and hilarious combat puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about combat that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for a good laugh? Then check out our compilation of Combat Jokes! Get a chuckle out of jokes related to combat engineering, madness combat, ace combat, war, siege and airforce - all with a humorous twist.

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Funniest Combat Short Jokes

Short combat jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The combat humour may include short fight jokes also.

  1. President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon Americans are thrilled. It's the first thing he's done to combat inflation.
  2. How did my parents combat boredom before the internet? I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
  3. Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.
  4. Recent combat maneuvers and successes have shown that Russia has the second strongest military Ukraine
  5. I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.
  6. I read about how in ancient Rome gladiators had a layer of fat to protect them in combat. I'm gonna start telling people I have the body of a gladiator.
  7. Racist Jokes Can we please start a thread of just racist jokes? Honestly the jokes here are really lacking we can combat that with crude racism.
  8. Paratrooper How many successful jumps does a paratrooper have to make before he is ready for combat?
    All of them.
  9. Disney has announced that all future Marvel movies will have an all male cast. They are doing their part to combat the heroine epidemic.
  10. How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy? Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.

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Combat One Liners

Which combat one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with combat? I can suggest the ones about battle and attack.

  1. Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade Then the grenade exploded.
  2. Who is WILL? ...and why are people that are in combat ordered to fire at him first.
  3. A typographer joined the military He was trained in Arial combat
  4. What would Giuliani bring to a trial by combat? Depends
  5. What do you call it when two men without arms get into a fight? Unarmed combat
  6. Why does Santa always keep a Baseball bat in his sleigh? For Claus combat.
  7. What do you call a tool used by a Polish combat medic? A Warsaw
  8. North Korea has made a plan to combat COVID-19 It is executed perfectly
  9. What kind of combat training do the recruits in the Israeli army receive? Jew-Jitsu.
  10. If we were to have a small food fight, would we be engaging in Morsel Combat?
  11. How do you combat espionage? Umbreonage
  12. How is Snoop Dogg combating the corona virus? Bleeaoch!
  13. What is the best weapon to combat cyber terrorism? Galaxy Nuke 7
  14. What branch of the military is most superior at hand-to-hand combat? The Arm-y
  15. What do you call a duel between two pigs? Ham to ham combat!

Ace Combat Jokes

Here is a list of funny ace combat jokes and even better ace combat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Can you believe that Mike Vick's favorite game is Ace Combat?
    Shamelessly stolen from u/Jozzyv1
Combat joke, Can you believe that

Combat Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about combat you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean competition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make combat pranks.

The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.

Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.
They will have the element of supplies.

Jesuits vs Dominicans

What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, they were both founded by Spaniards, St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits.
They were also both founded to combat heresy: the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants.
What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, have you met any Albigensians lately?
Heard this from priest and took format from somewhere.

"m**..." is such a harsh word...

I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".

What do snakes take to combat their allergies?


What do you call weaponized sushi?

A combat roll

You mama is so ugly...

Even Scorpion from Mortal Combat says: "Stay over there!"

A cowboy walks into a saloon…

and orders himself a drink at the bar counter. Turning to the fellow sitting next to him, he slowly utters, Combat. Battle. Warfare. Skirmish. Brawl. Scuffle.
The other man slams his glass down on the counter, gets up out of his seat, turns to face the cowboy, and says, Hey, them's fightin' words!

How do you stop a hippie from drowning?

Take your combat boot off his head.

Did you hear about the female soldier who deserted her unit during combat to tend to her yeast infection?

She was sentenced with dishonorable discharge.

People often misuse the word "chivalry."

I looked up the rules of chivalry. Only one part is about respecting women. The rest is medieval battle etiquette.
The other day I didn't open a door for a women behind me. "I guess chivlary is dead," she said. Enraged, I challenged her to armed combat
Turns out I'm the better jouster.
Chivalry is alive but that woman is dead.

New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol a**...

To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!

What did the red devil squid say when he was beaten in combat?

I am Humboldt.

I now understand why the Brits have leftenants instead of lieutenants

Otherwise they'd be renting bathrooms during combat.

To combat drug addiction, Christians are now rebranding herion as "Jesus"

One should never take the Lord's name in vein.

Why is Hardtack so tough?

It's bread for combat.

A medieval worker in England was fixing the fence on the top of the castle

He decided to take a break because he was hungry.
Two knights practicing combat nearby. One of them accidentally made a mistake and got shoved into the unfixed fence.
When the fence broke, he forcefully fell down the long distance. When he got down, in his dying breath, he screamed "THIS ISN'T EVEN REPOSTED!"

How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?

He puts on fake erections

People keep saying chivalry is dead. But, I looked up the definition of chivalry and it has little to do with manners and it is more about knights and combat.

The other day when I didn't open the classroom door for a girl in my class, she said that chivalry is dead. So, I challenged her to a duel.
To conclude, chivalry is not dead. But, that girl is.

"This is the biggest game of your life," my coach said.

Everyone was nervous, including me, and he wasn't making things easier.
He followed-up with, "Pretend like you're are going into combat."
That was it. That was the spark I needed. I waited for his back to be turned, and when it was, I snuck out of the locker room and started making my way to Canada.

Combat joke, President Biden ordered an F16 missile attack to destroy the Chinese spy balloon

jokes about combat