The Best 46 Combat Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Combat jokes. There are some combat fighter jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these combat firefight puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Combat Jokes and Puns
Racist Jokes
Can we please start a thread of just racist jokes? Honestly the jokes here are really lacking we can combat that with crude racism.
The Chinese have successfully tested their new Stealth Drones.
Not only will they be used in Recon and Combat missions but they will have the ability to drop vital equipment onto the battlefield.
They will have the element of supplies.
I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups.
Apparently, it's a very touchy subject.
The difference between Karate and Judo.
Karate is a combat and self defense technique developed in japan that requires years of intense training and dedication to master.
Judo is what they make bagels out of.
Jesuits vs Dominicans
What is similar about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, they were both founded by Spaniards, St. Dominic for the Dominicans, and St. Ignatius of Loyola for the Jesuits.
They were also both founded to combat heresy: the Dominicans to fight the Albigensians, and the Jesuits to fight the Protestants.
What is different about the Jesuit and Dominican Orders?
Well, have you met any Albigensians lately?
Heard this from priest and took format from somewhere.
Why are the mantises so powerful in combat?
Because they pray.
"Masturbation" is such a harsh word...
I prefer "Hand-to-gland combat".
How do you combat espionage?
Umbreonage
What do snakes take to combat their allergies?
Anti-hissss-tamines!
What do you call weaponized sushi?
A combat roll
You mama is so ugly...
Even Scorpion from Mortal Combat says: "Stay over there!"
You can explore combat airforce reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean combat missions dad jokes. There are also combat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
If we were to have a small food fight, would we be engaging in Morsel Combat?
A cowboy walks into a saloon…
and orders himself a drink at the bar counter. Turning to the fellow sitting next to him, he slowly utters, Combat. Battle. Warfare. Skirmish. Brawl. Scuffle.
The other man slams his glass down on the counter, gets up out of his seat, turns to face the cowboy, and says, Hey, them's fightin' words!
What is the best weapon to combat cyber terrorism?
Galaxy Nuke 7
I dont want to talk about the hand-on-hand combat class that I am taking.
It's a touchy subject.
How do you stop a hippie from drowning?
Take your combat boot off his head.
How many guns do the US need to combat an enemy?
Two: one to shoot and one to sell him to shoot back.
How do you combat Global Warming?
Start another Cold War
How did my parents combat boredom before the internet?
I asked my 26 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
Did you hear about the female soldier who deserted her unit during combat to tend to her yeast infection?
She was sentenced with dishonorable discharge.
I am going to start an amatuer fishing group for people who have lost their arms in combat.
We'll call it "Hooks, line, and sinker."
What's it called when birds of prey engage in rhythmic combat?
A RAP-tor battle!! (Credit to my friend who made this up)
What do you call a duel between two pigs?
Ham to ham combat!
People often misuse the word "chivalry."
I looked up the rules of chivalry. Only one part is about respecting women. The rest is medieval battle etiquette.
The other day I didn't open a door for a women behind me. "I guess chivlary is dead," she said. Enraged, I challenged her to armed combat
Turns out I'm the better jouster.
Chivalry is alive but that woman is dead.
What branch of the military is most superior at hand-to-hand combat?
The Arm-y
New study shows procrastination is as harmful to mental health as alcohol abuse
To combat this, I've decided to form Procrastinators anonymous, please consider joining it!
I now understand why the Brits have leftenants instead of lieutenants
Otherwise they'd be renting bathrooms during combat.
To combat drug addiction, Christians are now rebranding herion as "Jesus"
One should never take the Lord's name in vein.
Paratrooper
How many successful jumps does a paratrooper have to make before he is ready for combat?
All of them.
TIL During navel combat, there is a formal callout for when a destroyer accidentally targets a friendly submarine.
Whoops, wrong sub
What hymn did the snarky gamer suggest for Sunday mass?
The Halo: Combat Evolved theme song.
Everyone rejoiced.
Women shouldn't be in combat roles because
they'll just bleed
Army doc says I'm no longer fit for combat due to falling in love with with soldiers on both sides.
He says I'm suffering from an *Affinity War.*
Disney has announced that all future Marvel movies will have an all male cast.
They are doing their part to combat the heroine epidemic.
Why is Hardtack so tough?
It's bread for combat.
What do you call a tool used by a Polish combat medic?
A Warsaw
A medieval worker in England was fixing the fence on the top of the castle
He decided to take a break because he was hungry.
Two knights practicing combat nearby. One of them accidentally made a mistake and got shoved into the unfixed fence.
When the fence broke, he forcefully fell down the long distance. When he got down, in his dying breath, he screamed "THIS ISN'T EVEN REPOSTED!"
What do you call it when two men without arms get into a fight?
Unarmed combat
How does Kim Jong Un maintain power in North Korea and combat ED?
He puts on fake erections
What kind of combat training do the recruits in the Israeli army receive?
Jew-Jitsu.
North Korea has made a plan to combat COVID-19
It is executed perfectly
A typographer joined the military
He was trained in Arial combat
What would Giuliani bring to a trial by combat?
Depends
Why does Santa always keep a Baseball bat in his sleigh?
For Claus combat.
Who is WILL?
...and why are people that are in combat ordered to fire at him first.
Not sure why people are getting grief for using ivermectin to combat covid
The label clearly states it is safe for use in donkeys and jackassess.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the combat weapons jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working combat engage piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.