Comatose Jokes

Following is our collection of coma puns and clinical one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Comatose jokes for adults, dirty bedridden jokes and clean asleep dad gags for kids.

The Best Comatose Puns

I told my wife "if ever I become comatose and depend on a machine for my survival, unplug me"

She unplugged the computer.

Somebody told me to "live everyday like it's your last".

So, I decided I'd stay in bed with life support and act as if I'm in comatose state from now on.

My wife came out of her coma and looked at me.

She said, "Your forearms don't look any bigger. You have been *masturbating* while I was comatose, haven't you?"

"Yes," I replied.

She said, "Which hand did you use?"

I said, "Yours."

What do you call a comatose gay man?

A tomato...

It's both a fruit and a vegetable.

a peaceful man was so opposed to war that he upon reading his draft notice he passed out and remained comatose for the duration of the war

he was an unconscientious objector


What is a children's television show centered on the imaginary adventures of comatose Christians be called?

Veggie Tales!

Veggie Tales!

Veggie Tales!

What does a comatose gay person and a tomato have in common?

First they were a fruit, now they're a vegetable.

What do you call a room full of comatose people?

A salad.

My feet are really hairy.

Every once in I while I go comatose.

There is an abundance of turnip jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 9 funniest jokes and comatose puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any consciousness witze you can hear about comatose.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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