Columbia Jokes

After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.

So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.

What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?

In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.

To take her mind off being mistakenly judged Miss Universe,Miss Columbia went to get her teeth whitened..

The Dentist told her she needs a crown.

Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York?

They wouldn't let him bring his carrion.


Sorry.

President of Columbia has announced that the country is going into severe economic depression...

...since the deaths of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston.

Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture.

In theory.

And your 2015 Miss Universe is Columbia!

-Steve Harvey

The people of Columbia are not only human beings...

..., they are Colum-beings.

What do you call a Jewish organization based in Vancouver?

Yiddish Columbia

I always thought District of Columbia was a weird name

Until I realized it probably has the highest rates of coffee and caffeine usage anywhere in the US

NASA Space shuttles Columbia, Discovery, Atlantis, Enterprise, and Endeavor all flew successfully. So why did Challenger fail?

Because you experience 0 G's in space.

I recently heard that grad students at Columbia had voted to unionize.

Don't they know that ions are important to your body?

In British Columbia, why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg?

Because he wooden like it.

Why didn't Johnson Space Center in Houston get one of the retired Space Shuttle orbiters?

Because Texas already got Columbia.

Columbia is the new Miss Universe