columbia Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious columbia puns

After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.

So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.


What's the difference between Switzerland and Columbia?

In Switzerland, snow is measured in meters, in Columbia in kilograms.


To take her mind off being mistakenly judged Miss Universe,Miss Columbia went to get her teeth whitened..

The Dentist told her she needs a crown.


When you have an orgasm...


A professor at the University of British Columbia was giving a lecture
on 'Involuntary Muscular Contractions' to his first year medical students.

Realizing this was not the most riveting subject,
the professor decided to lighten the mood slightly.

He pointed to a young woman in the front row and said,
Do you know what your asshole is doing while you're having an orgasm?

She replied, "Probably golfing with his buddies".
It took 45 minutes to restore order in the classroom


A Police Officer Pulls Over An Eldery Couple

A police officer pulls over an elderly couple and says, "You were doing 120 in a 90 zone. The lady asks, "What; what did he say!?", to which her husband replies, "You were doing 120 in a 90 zone."
The officer then asks for the lady's licence and registration. The old lady asks, "What; what did he say!?", to which her husband replies, "He wants to see your licence and registration."
The officer asks where they're from; again, the old lady asks, "What; what did he say!?", and her husband replies, "He wants to know where we're from." The old lady tells the officer they're from Fernie, British Columbia.
The officer tells the elderly couple that the worst piece of ass he ever had was in Fernie. The old lady asks yet again, "What; what did he say!?". Her husband replies, "He thinks he knows ya."


Did ya' hear about the bear that tried to fly from British Columbia to New York?

They wouldn't let him bring his carrion.



President of Columbia has announced that the country is going into severe economic depression...

...since the deaths of Amy Winehouse and Whitney Houston.


Miss Columbia, Hillary Clinton, and La La Land won Miss Universe, the U.S. Presidency, and Best Picture.

In theory.


And your 2015 Miss Universe is Columbia!

-Steve Harvey


The people of Columbia are not only human beings...

..., they are Colum-beings.


What do you call a Jewish organization based in Vancouver?

Yiddish Columbia


I always thought District of Columbia was a weird name

Until I realized it probably has the highest rates of coffee and caffeine usage anywhere in the US


In British Columbia, why can't you take a picture of a man with a wooden leg?

Because he wooden like it.


I recently heard that grad students at Columbia had voted to unionize.

Don't they know that ions are important to your body?


I'm high as a kite tied to Columbia...

...will explode any time.


Who lives in British Columbia?

Brits and Columbians.


Columbia is the new Miss Universe


Why didn't Johnson Space Center in Houston get one of the retired Space Shuttle orbiters?

Because Texas already got Columbia.


NASA Space shuttles Columbia, Discovery, Atlantis, Enterprise, and Endeavor all flew successfully. So why did Challenger fail?

Because you experience 0 G's in space.


Why is it so hard to get a mortgage in Columbia SC?

All the homes there are underwater


What are the most funny Columbia jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Columbia? Well, here are the best Columbia dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Columbia pick up lines to share with friends.


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