The Best 80 Colour Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Colour jokes. There are some colour beige jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these colour cyan puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Colour Jokes and Puns

How does Bono spell the word "colour"?

With or without u.

Did you hear Mary Poppins stopped wearing lipstick whilst giving head?

Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dicks atrocious.

Two blondes were doing a crossword.

One asks, "How do you spell paint"? The other one replies,

"What colour"??

Colour joke, Two blondes were doing a crossword.

What did one Muslim say to another in a supermarket?

Nothing very interesting, they are both completely ordinary members of society who should not be judged based on their ethnic background and skin colour.

And then the building exploded.

Semantics really

I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".

I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.


Blacks the best colour to wear to a funeral isn't it?

Just thinking which rollerblades to wear.

Coloured Eggs

A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.

The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.

Colour joke, Coloured Eggs

Scientists have discovered a fantastic new shade of the colour green.

Its sublime

When I have kids...

When I have kids I want them to be friends with people of every colour of the rainbow...
So no black people

What is it called when buckets of paint conspire with each other?

A colour scheme.

Here's a limerick I wrote:

There once was a colour named orange,

...Damnit.

You can explore colour colourblind reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean colour yellow dad jokes. There are also colour puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I tried to change the colour of my monk's costume so I could reuse it

but I guess old habits dye hard.

I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind..

It came completely out of the green

If you think colours aren't funny

then you lack a sense of hue-mour

People are like traffic lights

You have to judge them by colour

What do you call a colour that you make up in your head?

A pigment of my imagination.

Colour joke, What do you call a colour that you make up in your head?

My Gf: What colour are my eyes?

Me: 34C.

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour?

Corduroy.

I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant

But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby


What's China's national colour?

Censo-red.

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids.

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids, it just made them a different colour.

I was diagnosed with colour blindness yesterday.

The news came out of the purple.

What did the colours red and violet say to one another when they couldn't agree in their debate?

I guess we're just on different ends of the spectrum.

Which is the most powerful colour?

Super Cyan

A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about sexual harassment in the work place.

A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about sexual harassment in the work place. After the presentation she asked, "Has anyone got any questions?"
I put my hand up and asked, "What colour knickers have you got on?"

I just found out I'm colour blind

The diagnosis came completely out of the green.

(Courtesy of a family member)

The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war

while French people remove the red and blue colour

What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

None, a green house is made out of glass.

What is Po's (Kung Fu Panda) dominant colour?

White because his father returned.

If you could have a Dodge Viper or the girl of your dreams, what colour would it be?

Black and blue of course.
...
The girl, not the car.

(Courtesy of my son, the sicko).

What colour pants do you need to start a vehicle?

Khaki

I don't discriminate based skin colour, I do it based on clothes...

In fact you could call me a fashist

Getting a bit worried, is this normal?

One of my nipples is a different colour than the other two

My colour blind friend told me there were only two kinds of people in the world.

I told him to stop seeing things in black and white.

A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella

She notices Jerry colouring his duck blue and asks "where did you see a blue duck?" He replies "where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?"

Vasectomy misunderstanding

She told me I mis heard the doctor, Apparently it doesn't stop your wife getting pregnant, just affects the colour of the baby.

Britons vs. Americans

Americans:
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby

Britons:
It's School not Shooting Range.

What's the difference between snooker and society?

In snooker, black is the most valuable colour.

Turquoise is the best colour in the world

It is cyantifically proven

Crayons are just like M&Ms....

They taste the same no matter what colour they are.

I'm not a racist...

I have a colour TV

So I got a vasectomy...

Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby.

What is the colour of the Wind?

Blew.

I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any more children.

Apparently a vasectomy doesn't stop you from having children, it only changes the colour of their skin.

What Colour Confuses an Idiot?

Blue

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still had a baby...

...apparently all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.

A husband buys a dozen of panties of the same colour for his wife.

His wife protests: " Why the same colour, people will think i don't change my panties."

Husband asks" which people?

If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you...

Gingerly

Two Irishmen are talking ...

One says to the other "Y'know, green is my favourite colour in the whole world! In fact, I like it more than blue and yellow combined!"

Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?

Because Rick Astley is British.

A British man

A British man asks and American,

Why don't you spell colour, armour, or flavour the same way as we do?

The American replied,

We got rid of u in 1776.

No, you haven't invented a new colour...

It's just a pigment of your imagination!

Me: Hey, how do you spell color?

British Friend: C-O-L-O-U-R

Me: How do you spell honor?

British Friend: H-O-N-O-U-R

Me: How do you spell neighbor?

British Friend: N-E-I-G-H-B-O-U-R

Me: Why do you keep adding an extra 'u' in these words?

British Friend: dQw4w9WgXcQ

Britain: American English is stupid, you can't even spell colour right.

America: No u.

I just got diagnosed as colour blind!

I didn't expect that - it came straight out of the purple!

What colour can you use to start your car?

Khaki

If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...

What colour Ferrari would you get?

I just found out I am colour blind.

It really came out of the grey.

An American is moving to Britain...

...So he decides to learn the british way of spelling things. So he spoke to a Brit he knew and he was told the following:
"So: Color turns into colour. Harbor turns into harbour. honor becomes honour. Starting to notice a pattern?"
So he writes an e-mail to his new boss:

"Good mourning sir....

I just turned down a girl because of the colour of her skin.

Can't be dealing with her terrible fake tan.

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

I've never understood the Navy's colour being Navy blue.

I though they were the aqua-marines.

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still got pregnant...

I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still got pregnant. Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.

Why don't Americans spell color like colour?

It was their way of telling Great Britain that they don't need u.

What is the name of the colour which is screaming?

YELLow

The Nuns robes

The Nun had tried ever so hard to change the colour of her old robes but to no avail. I guess old habits dye hard.

Just went to the doctor and found out I'm colour blind

Genuinely can't believe it, this has come completely out of the green

Why do colourblind people suck at dating?

Because they fail to see the red flags in a relationship

If you truly believe that "Colour Doesn't Matter"

try arguing with your wife when choosing wallpaper.

If a man knows a womens eye colour after the first date

She has small boobs.

According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person's aura changes changes right before they die.

Cyan-aura.

I dislike the colour purple

more than blue and red combined.

Don't think that colour doesn't matter. Brown, yellow and black must be eliminated so that only white remains. It's the only way to reach victory.

Said the snooker teacher.

According to ancient Japanese lore, the colour of a person's aura changes when they die.

Cyan-aura.

If you had the choice between World Peace or all of Bill Gates money....

.....what colour Ferrari would you buy?

What do colour-blind people and cyclists have in common?

They can't tell the difference between red and green.

I can complete a Rubik's Cube without touching it

Perk of being colour blind

broke up with the girlfriend because she was always up my ass about being colour blind and a dozen other things

too many grey flags

When my kid is upset I let her colour my tattoo!

She just needs a shoulder to Crayon

What colour can unlock a car?

Khaki

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the colour reddish jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working colour chameleoff piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes