colour Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious colour puns

Did you hear Mary Poppins stopped wearing lipstick whilst giving head?

Apparently the super colour fragile lipstick makes the dicks atrocious.


Why do The Brit's still use 'u' in words like colour and armour ?

Because Rick Astley is British.


I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant

But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby


Why did America remove the "u" from "colour"?

Because fuck u

that's why


Why Doesn't American English Use a "U" in Words Like Color and Flavor (Colour and Flavour)?

Because fuck U, that's why.


I just found out I'm colour blind

The diagnosis came completely out of the green.

(Courtesy of a family member)


Why, in the United States, do we not have the letter "u" in words like "favourite" and "colour"?

Because fuck u and no one likes u, that's why.


I got a vasectomy but my girlfriend still had a baby...

...apparently all a vasectomy does is change the colour of the baby.


I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind..

It came completely out of the green


Crayons are just like M&Ms....

They taste the same no matter what colour they are.


So I got a vasectomy...

Turns out it just changes the colour of the baby.


My Gf: What colour are my eyes?

Me: 34C.


What is the colour of the Wind?



The Philippines is the only country in the world who turns its flag upside down during times of war

while French people remove the red and blue colour


What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

None, a green house is made out of glass.


What Colour Confuses an Idiot?



I thought my vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant.

But it turns out it just changes the colour of the baby


What do you call a colour that you make up in your head?

A pigment of my imagination.


Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change colour?

It had a reptile dysfunction.


Semantics really

I woke up this morning and found a bunch of missing person posters around town that said "Offering reward for any information".

I promptly ran to a phone, called them up and told them my favourite colour was blue.


Why does America spell colour without the u?

because fuck u


I had a vasectomy because I didn't want any more children.

Apparently a vasectomy doesn't stop you from having children, it only changes the colour of their skin.


What is it called when buckets of paint conspire with each other?

A colour scheme.


Britons vs. Americans

It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby

It's School not Shooting Range.


A husband buys a dozen of panties of the same colour for his wife.

His wife protests: " Why the same colour, people will think i don't change my panties."

Husband asks" which people?


Scientists have discovered a fantastic new shade of the colour green.

Its sublime



A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) Of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:





Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.

'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,

'Oh my God!! They're assholes!'


A teacher asks class to draw and colour a duck holding an umbrella

She notices Jerry colouring his duck blue and asks "where did you see a blue duck?" He replies "where did you see a duck holding an umbrella?"


Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids.

Turns out my vasectomy didn't stop us from having more kids, it just made them a different colour.


If a woman likes you, you can tell her real hair colour from how it feels. Blondes touch you hard, brunettes touch you fast, redheads touch you...



Turquoise is the best colour in the world

It is cyantifically proven


If you think colours aren't funny

then you lack a sense of hue-mour


A nun decides to dye her worn out clothes

A nun decided that it was much cheaper to just dye the colour back into her worn out clothes instead of buying new clothes. Every year, the nun would go to a nearby dye shop to dye her clothes and hang them to dry.

When she returned to the store for the 10th time, she dyed and hung her clothes. When she came back to get her clothes, they were stiff and uncomfortable. She complained to the store manager and asked why that happened to her clothes.

The store manager replied: "Well madam, old habits dye hard"


I just found out I am colour blind.

It really came out of the grey.


If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...

What colour Ferrari would you get?


What are the best Colour puns ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Colour? Well, here are the best Colour dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny pranks and Colour pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes