Color Jokes
177 color jokes and hilarious color puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about color that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Get ready for some gut-busting laughter with this collection of off-color, short, and slightly off-color jokes. From the weirdest of the weird to the surprisingly hilarious, these jokes will bring an aura of lightheartedness and blue to your day. Enough to make even the most mediochre individual chuckle and chuckle heartily.
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Funniest Color Short Jokes
Short color jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The color humour may include short colour jokes also.
- Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist... but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.
- A black guy in an library asked me where the colored printer was I said "Sir, this is 2019. You can use any printer you want".
- Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot. - Breaking News Trump's personal library just burned down The fire consumed both books and he hasn't even finished coloring the second one
- I thought a vasectomy wouldn't get my wife pregnant.. Turns out, all it does is just change the color of the baby.
- What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color? 'Ginger'
- Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force? They wouldn't know who to shoot
- What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it? Au-burn
^He^^He^^^He^^^^He - My black friend asked me where to find the color copier I said it's 2015 and he can use whatever copier he wants to
- I swallowed some food coloring the other day. I'll be alright, but it feels like I dyed a little inside.
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Color One Liners
Which color one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with color? I can suggest the ones about purple and paint.
- What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore? A reptile dysfunction.
- What's the difference between grey and gray? One is a color, and the other is a colour.
- I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before It was just a pigment of my imagination.
- All of the heroes of Overwatch have natural hair colors... Because heroes never dye.
- Purple is my favorite color! I like it more than blue and red combined.
- Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color? M'genta
- Look, I'm all for coloring books... but connect-the-dots? That's where I draw the line.
- What do you call an imaginary color? A pigment of your imagination.
- What do you call colorful secret police? The RGB
- What do you call a colored man ? A Hueman
- A black kid asked me if there was a colored printer in the library...
- I was on acid and I actually tasted colors. Tasted a lot like paint.
- Which color confuses an idiot? Blue
- Purple is my least favourite color I hate it more than red and blue combined.
- How does Bono spell color? With or without "u"
Favorite Color Jokes
Here is a list of funny favorite color jokes and even better favorite color puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u - Green is my favorite color. I like it better than blue and yellow combined.
- What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.
- What's a cats favorite color? Purrrple!
(Told by my 5yo niece.) - What's a sailor's least favorite color? Maroon
- What’s a librarian’s favorite color? Read.
- What is a telephone's favorite color? Green green, green green
- What is a Vietnamese's favorite color? Not orange.
- What did Pete Townsend say when Roger Daltrey told him that he'd lost his favorite old lime-colored belt? "Relax. It's only a green, aged, waistband."
- I'm torn: on the one hand, I absolutely hate xenophobia, sexism, and racism on the other hand, orange is my favorite color.
Color Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny color day jokes and even better color day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did Worf change his hair color? It was a good day to dye.
- So I was in the library the other day... My black friend comes over and ask me where the color printers were at. I looked up and said "it's 2015 man you can use whatever printer you want".
- I picked out a color of grey paint the other day, I guess the salesman didn't like it. He just said "Oh, the hue manatee."
- What does laundry day and the 1950's have in common Color separation
- Depression... Me: Depression is the worst. I just want to sleep all day, I've been eating the same thing for every meal, life has lost its color—
My dog: oh my God, I have depression - Red my mind I made an off-color joke to my friend the other day and one of my friends didn't get it. Then after some thinking I remembered *snaps* he's color blind.
- One day someone told me the only primary colors are red and yellow... When he found out there was a third...it blue his mind
- Remember it's St Patrick's day today, try and stand out from the crowd... ... wear all orange, it's also an Irish color
- I told my blond friend, that they have higher risk of cancer. The next day she colored her hair black.
courtesy: Choke by Chuck palahniuk - Oh, what have the days come to, I can't even say "black paint" anymore I have to say, "Man of color, would you please paint the fence?"
Hair Color Jokes
Here is a list of funny hair color jokes and even better hair color puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If someone changes their hair color to or from red, Does that make them transginger?
- My girlfriend is at the barber. She is dying to get a new hair color.
- My asian friend lent me a cow with hair that changes color It's currently on roan
- My girlfriend went to the hair salon and got rid of four inches She got her hair colored and then dumped me.
- I'm gonna color my hair ... or dye tryin'
- What do you call someone who isn't a redhead but colors there hair red later in life? A trans-ginger
- I think I might be dying But I really like the color of my hair right now.
- Have you heard of the new hair colorer which has a one in six chance of killing you? It's called the die die dye.
- If a hammer had hair, what color would it be? Blunt
- A wife returns from the salon, "Honey, I took your advice and got a new hair color, what do you think?" Husband: I think you misunderstood what I meant when I said "it's time to diet".
Color Blind Jokes
Here is a list of funny color blind jokes and even better color blind puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mother, mother, ... ... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?
- Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind. - yesterday the doctor said i was color blind the diagnosis came out of the purple
- Roses are gray Violets are gray
I'm color blind
And not very good at poetry - The colorblind test results came in, turns out I'm indeed color blind, that totally came out of the purple.
- I unexpectedly found out I'm color blind That sure came out of the yellow
- What did the color blind psychic say? Q: What did the color blind psychic say?
A: I cannot see the fuschia. - Why is it good to be color blind? Because people can't call you racist.
- What's green and fluffy? Red fluff, if you're color blind.
- A color blind person is feeling down He's feeling a little purple
- What does a color blind racist say? I don't see color
I see race
Off Color Jokes
Here is a list of funny off color jokes and even better off color puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Today I saw this absolutely stunning color that I've never seen before! It was indescribable, but when I blinked, it disappeared. I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.
- I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter. I think I dyed a little inside.
- Am I able to think up of a brand new color... ...or will it just be a pigment of my imagination?
- What do you call a person who studies the color blue? A cyantologist.
- My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter... "You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."
- If you had to choose between world peace and Bill Gates' fortune... What color would your Lamborghini be?
- If you could choose between having a light saber or saving a child..... Which color light saber would you choose?
- What's the strongest color? Super Cyan
- I got a white noise machine to help me sleep... but it just keeps saying things like "I have many friends of different colors" and "I just wish America was like how it used to be."
- Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color? If you've been choking for 50 years, you'd be purple too!
Cheerful Fun Color Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about color you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bright jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make color pranks.
My girlfriend asked me what color her eyes were today...
I responded, "36C".
I heard that because the moon has no atmosphere...
the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a man with three daughters
There's a man with three daughters.
The first daughter comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Daisy" the dad says" 'cause when you were born a daisy fell on your head."
The second daughter comes up and says "Daddy why'd you name me Rose" the dad says "'cause when you were born a rose fell on your head."
The third daughter comes up and says "kjaglifvgjlfj" the dad says "SHUTUP CINDERBLOCK"
*Edit 1: removed hair color
Coloured Eggs
A rooster was strutting around the hen house one Easter morning and came across a nest of eggs dyed every color of the rainbow.
The rooster took one look at the colorful display, ran outside and beat the heck out of the resident peacock.
Two Jews were arguing whether or not white is a color
After arguing for a week they went for an advice to their rabbi
Rabbi looked into an old book and said yes, white is a color.
A week later same Jews were arguing for a week whether black is a color
Went to the same rabbi who said yes, black is also a color
See!!! says one of them, I did sell you a color TV!!!!
So Apple made a spinoff of the iPod Touch...
...where you design all its features yourself. The color, storage, apps that come with it, basically everything.
However, it got banned from all Apple stores because of its name, the iTouchMyself.
A little girl is attending her first wedding...
And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"
"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."
The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Discipline is important
A wife calls her husband into their son's room. She says, "Look what I found under Johnny's bed!" as she points to a suitcase filled with whips, paddles, canes, and cat–o'–nine–tails of every size, color, and material. "What are we going to do with him?" she asks. The father looks at the suitcase, looks at his son, and looks at his wife. He says, "Whatever we do we shouldn't s**... him."
A graphic designer is working on a website...
...and his client says, "Could you make this banner a little more green?"
So he makes the color a little bit more green.
But his client says, "No, that's too green. Make it a little less so."
So he makes it a little less green.
The client says, "No, it's still a bit off."
So the artist, losing his patience, shouts, "On a scale of 0 to 255, how green do you want it!?"
Two blonde girls at a traffic light
They stop at red:
-Look at that red color!
-Wow, it's beautiful.
-And the yellow!
-Such brightness!
-And the green!
-Much nature!
-Oh, it's red again, we saw it already. Let's go.
A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.)
If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit?
Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie.
What do cows drink joke
Say each of the questions aloud and then answer the final question.
What color are polar bears?
What color is cotton?
What color are clouds normally on a sunny day?
What color are marshmallows?
So what do cows drink?
One time I took a blonde girl to the movies...
We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.
We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the brown ones, and threw them in the trash.
"What was that about?" I asked as she returned to her seat.
She smiled and replied "Oh, I'm allergic to chocolate so I always throw the chocolate flavored ones away."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Colorblind people are wondering why is everyone on Facebook is celebrating Fifty Shades of Grey
They say no two people can see a color the exact same way so does that mean color is like
A Pigment of your imagination
What would be the best color to make a joke about?
I was thinking black, but I'm not sure it would work?
What kind of food can you color with?
A cranberry! ~ Esher (my Grandson) age 5
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Goth people wear black to reflect the color of their souls...
Except ginger goths. They go n**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother has 3 kids
A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A white man tells a black man
Why do people call you color man ?? To what the black man answers " I don't know
When I was born; I was black.
When I started to grow, I was black.
When I go to the beach I'm black.
When I have a cold I'm still black.
When I have panic I'm black.
When I'm sick I'm black.
even when I die I continued to be black.
Instead you my friend
When you're born you're pink.
When you start to grow you are white.
When you go to the beach you look red.
When you're cold you look blue.
When you have panic you look yellow.
When you're sick you look green.
When you die you turn gray ....
And they still dare to call me a color man
A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...
and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"
A teacher asked his students..
A teacher asked his students "Is black a color?". One student replied "Yes, it's all the colors." another student said "No, it's the absence of color." Then another student said "It's only three-fifths of a color."
What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?
Well that came out of the purple
Britons vs. Americans
Americans:
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby
Britons:
It's School not Shooting Range.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you had $1 for every time you've m**...
What color would your Bugatti be?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Progress is amazing. "w**... Only" is in the past
This new color safe bleach is fantastic.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Racism is s**....
Why hate a person based on his/her skin color? If you just took the time to know them as a person, you can find a whole lot of other things to hate them for.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The m**... rate among trans women of color is so high
You'd think they were black guys.
What's colored and looks good hanging from a tree...
Christmas ornaments.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was forced to s**... purple food color.
I feel violated.
Back to the Drawing Board
(after the Apocalypse)
God: *sigh* "Ok. This time I'm going to make them all the same color.
A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,
The genie says to the man, "I will grant you one wish however, it must be within reason" The man thinks for a second and says "I want a dragon!" the genie replies "Are you mad? I said within reason!" Again the man thinks and finally speaks. "I wish for the ability to plug a USB cable in right every time." The genie thinks, then says,
What color do you want your dragon?
Noone actually dreams in color.
It's just a pigment of your imagination.
I'm colorblind when it comes to race
I guess you could say I don't know White from Wong
Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement
Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.
In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Me: Hey, how do you spell color?
British Friend: C-O-L-O-U-R
Me: How do you spell honor?
British Friend: H-O-N-O-U-R
Me: How do you spell neighbor?
British Friend: N-E-I-G-H-B-O-U-R
Me: Why do you keep adding an extra 'u' in these words?
British Friend: dQw4w9WgXcQ
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a colorblind person see the LGBTQ flag?
They see it in gayscale.
What color is the letter M?
Pastel
what color is the sun?
I looked at it for a couple of minutes and I think it is black
An American is moving to Britain...
...So he decides to learn the british way of spelling things. So he spoke to a Brit he knew and he was told the following:
"So: Color turns into colour. Harbor turns into harbour. honor becomes honour. Starting to notice a pattern?"
So he writes an e-mail to his new boss:
"Good mourning sir....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain
"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.
"I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."
Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because that's a microwave."
Wife told me if I really didn't want anymore kids to get a vasectomy
All it did was change the color of our next one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the doctor because my t**... were turning a greenish-brown color
He said I have Hazelnuts.
I wasted my time on a vasectomy.
All it does is change the color of the baby.
So all the animals gathered and having a party,
Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time,
suddenly a chameleon get to the middle of the room, say "check this out" and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.
Once he done he say "Lets see any of you do the same".
Suddenly octopus appear from the crowd and says:
hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer.
A man walks into a bar and it's empty – it's just him and the bartender.
He sits down and orders a drink.
After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, Pssst… I like your tie.
The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.
Pssst… that color looks nice on you.
He asks the bartender, Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?
The bartender rolls his eyes and says, No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts… they're complimentary.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Four surgeons
Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.
The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".
The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".
The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."
The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."
The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.
The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the a**... and head are interchangeable."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the h**... am I misspelling color"?
A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a you problem".
What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common with a phone?
The phone rings green....green.....green, so you pink it up and say yellow.
A vasectomy doesn't stop you from fathering children
It appears that it just changes the color of the baby.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Jews are arguing before the Rabbi
J1: "Black is a color!"
J2: "NO! it is not!"
J1: "It is a color!"
J2: "Rabbi, is black a color?"
Rabbi: "Well, sure..."
J1: "See, I told you. And so is white!"
J2: "White is not a color!"
J1: "Rabbi?"
Rabbi: "Well, yes, white is a color"
J1: "See, I told you Moishe, I sold you a *color* TV"
