The Best 88 Color Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Color jokes. There are some color colorblind jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these color color of taxes puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Color Jokes and Puns

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent my wife from getting pregnant.

Apparently, all it does is change the color of the baby.

If you had to choose between world peace and Bill Gates' fortune...

What color would your Lamborghini be?

Two Jews were arguing whether or not white is a color

After arguing for a week they went for an advice to their rabbi
Rabbi looked into an old book and said yes, white is a color.
A week later same Jews were arguing for a week whether black is a color
Went to the same rabbi who said yes, black is also a color
See!!! says one of them, I did sell you a color TV!!!!

Color joke, Two Jews were arguing whether or not white is a color

A little girl is attending her first wedding...

And as the priest is reading the vows, she leans over to her mother and whispers, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explains, "and today is the happiest day in her life."

The child ponders this for a moment and then asks, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

I made up a color in my head today.

It was a pigment of my imagination.


What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn

^He^^He^^^He^^^^He

Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

M'genta

Color joke, Whats a fedora clad, neck bearded gentlemen's favorite color?

World peace or all of Bill Gates' money?

If you had a choice between world peace or Bill Gates' money, what color would your Lamborghini be?

What do cows drink joke

Say each of the questions aloud and then answer the final question.

What color are polar bears?
What color is cotton?
What color are clouds normally on a sunny day?
What color are marshmallows?

So what do cows drink?

My son asked me to explain what coloring eggs had to do with the story of Easter...

"You see, son, we color Easter eggs to remind us that Jesus dyed for our sins."

One time I took a blonde girl to the movies...

We bought our tickets and waited in line for snacks. I got popcorn; she got M&M's. We got a drink to split.

We sat down during the previews. I started eating my popcorn and she opened her M&M's and dumped them all out in her lap. She carefully separated them all by color, took all the brown ones, and threw them in the trash.

"What was that about?" I asked as she returned to her seat.

She smiled and replied "Oh, I'm allergic to chocolate so I always throw the chocolate flavored ones away."

You can explore color mediochre reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean color colorful parrot dad jokes. There are also color puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Hey did you hear about the chameleon that couldn't change color?

It had a reptile dysfunction

Colorblind people are wondering why is everyone on Facebook is celebrating Fifty Shades of Grey

What would be the best color to make a joke about?

I was thinking black, but I'm not sure it would work?

How does Bono spell color?

With or without "u"

Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color?

If you've been choking for 50 years, you'd be purple too!

Color joke, Why do the Minnesota vikings wear purple as a team color?

[OC] What color is someone's aura when they're about to die?

Cyan Aura

My black friend asked me where to find the color copier

I said it's 2015 and he can use whatever copier he wants to

I thought vasectomies were supposed to keep me from getting my wife pregnant??

Apparently, it just changes the color of the baby. Go figure.


Olympic Condoms. (NSFW)

A man was shopping in a nearby supermarket when he noticed a package that said "Olympic Condoms". He bought it, and told his wife about it.

" - Olympic Condoms? What's so special about them?"

" - They have 3 colors: Gold, Silver and Bronze."

" - And what color are you going to wear tonight?"

" - Gold, obviously!"

" - Why not Silver? It'd be great if you came second, for a change."

Today i thought i saw a new color...

but it turned out to just be a pigment of my imagination

After my vasectomy I thought I couldn't get my wife pregenant

Apparently it just changes the color of the baby

What do you call an imaginary color?

A pigment of your imagination.

Purple is my favorite color!

I like it more than blue and red combined.

A mother has 3 kids

A mother has 3 kids.

The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"

The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."

The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"

The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head

Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."

"SHUT UP BRICK"

I wanted to tell you all about a color I made up.....

but, as it turns out, it was just a pigment of my imagination.

There are a mother and child at a wedding.

The child turns to her mother and asks "Mommy, why is the Bride wearing white?" The mother quietly responds "Because, white is seen as the color of happiness, and this is the happiest day of her life!" The child ponders this for a moment, and then turns to her mother again. "Then why is the Groom wearing black?"

Fill out job applications in crayon...

...and if you don't get hired, just blame it on your color.

A white man tells a black man

Why do people call you color man ?? To what the black man answers " I don't know

When I was born; I was black.
When I started to grow, I was black.
When I go to the beach I'm black.
When I have a cold I'm still black.
When I have panic I'm black.
When I'm sick I'm black.
even when I die I continued to be black.

Instead you my friend

When you're born you're pink.
When you start to grow you are white.
When you go to the beach you look red.
When you're cold you look blue.
When you have panic you look yellow.
When you're sick you look green.
When you die you turn gray ....

And they still dare to call me a color man

I thought up a color that doesn't exist...

It's just a pigment of my imagination.

What's the strongest color?

Super Cyan

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."

"I want a dragon."

"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"

"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."

"...what color dragon do you want?"

What has an N, an I, two G's, an E, and an R and can be used to describe people of a certain color?

'Ginger'

The US flag on the moon lost its color and is now completely white

It's now the French flag.

If you could choose between having a light saber or saving a child.....

Which color light saber would you choose?

What do colorblind people say to the unexpected?

Well that came out of the purple

Which color confuses an idiot?

Blue

Am I able to think up of a brand new color...

...or will it just be a pigment of my imagination?

Britons vs. Americans

Americans:
It's Mom not Mum
It's Chips not Crisps
It's Fries not Chips
It's Color not Colour
It's Soccer not Football
It's Football not Rugby

Britons:
It's School not Shooting Range.

If you had $1 for every time you've masturbated

What color would your Bugatti be?

I thought a vasectomy wouldn't get my wife pregnant..

Turns out, all it does is just change the color of the baby.

I tried to make up a new color today

It turns out it was just a pigment of my imagination

Today I saw this absolutely stunning color that I've never seen before! It was indescribable, but when I blinked, it disappeared.

I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.

I had a vasectomy. Did you know that it actually doesn't prevent your wife from getting pregnant it just changes the color of the baby.

Or at least that's what my mailman saidο»Ώ.

I had vasectomy so my wife wouldn't get pregnant...

But apparently all it does is change the color of your baby

The murder rate among trans women of color is so high

You'd think they were black guys.

I thought getting a vasectomy would prevent birth

But apparently it just changes the color of the baby.

I was forced to swallow purple food color.

I feel violated.

What is the color of the wind?

Blew.

A man rubs a bottle and a genie comes out,

The genie says to the man, "I will grant you one wish however, it must be within reason" The man thinks for a second and says "I want a dragon!" the genie replies "Are you mad? I said within reason!" Again the man thinks and finally speaks. "I wish for the ability to plug a USB cable in right every time." The genie thinks, then says,

What color do you want your dragon?

What is a chameleon that cannot change color?

A reptile dysfunction

Noone actually dreams in color.

It's just a pigment of your imagination.

I got a vasectomy,

But apparently all it does is change the color of the baby.

Why aren't color blind people allowed to join the police force?

They wouldn't know who to shoot

I was disappointed to find out a vasectomy doesn't prevent you from getting your wife pregnant.

It just changes the color of the baby. :(

Did you hear about the old chameleon who can't change color anymore?

He has reptile disfunction

Julie Andrews withdraws her endorsement

Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing Revlon Vibrant Shades lipstick, as she claims it breaks too easily and makes her breath smell.

In a statement she said, "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis."

Green is my favorite color.

I like it better than blue and yellow combined.

I accidentally drank the water we used to color eggs for Easter.

I think I dyed a little inside.

I've just been told by my doctor that I'm color blind

It completely came out of the orange

I just got diagnosed with color blindness.

I gotta say this diagnosis came out of the orange.

Mother, mother, ...

... how come other children need hours to solve Rubik's cube but I do it in just a few seconds?

- Well, sweetie, it's because you're color blind.

How does a colorblind person see the LGBTQ flag?

They see it in gayscale.

What color is the letter M?

Pastel

A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain

"I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman.

"I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes."

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave."

I used to think that a vasectomy prevented you from having a kid

Turns out it just changes the color (:

Color vs Colour, Favorite vs Favourite, Neighbor vs Neighbour

British English: I think you're having problem understanding these words.
American English: no u

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

I went to the doctor because my testicles were turning a greenish-brown color

He said I have Hazelnuts.

I wasted my time on a vasectomy.

All it does is change the color of the baby.

I dreamed I saw a color I never saw before

It was just a pigment of my imagination.

A man walks into a bar and it's empty – it's just him and the bartender.

He sits down and orders a drink.

After a few seconds, he hears someone whisper, Pssst… I like your tie.

The man looks around but doesn't see anyone.

Pssst… that color looks nice on you.

He asks the bartender, Excuse me, but…are you speaking to me?

The bartender rolls his eyes and says, No, sorry about that. It's the peanuts… they're complimentary.

Four surgeons

Four surgeons sit around discussing their favorite patients.

The first surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order".

The second surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order".

The third surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded."

The fourth surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians."

The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief.

The fourth surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the ass and head are interchangeable."

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Barack Obama?

One gets made fun of for the color of his skin, and the other is Barack Obama!

An American is typing on a computer when he flies into a rage, shouting "How the hell am I misspelling color"?

A Canadian takes a quick look at the screen before rolling his eyes and walking away, saying "that sounds like a you problem".

I got a vasectomy but my gf still got pregnant.

Apparently, all a vasectomy does is change the color of the baby.

Today I thought of a color that doesn't exist...

but then I realized it was just a pigment of my imagination.

Two Jews are arguing before the Rabbi

J1: "Black is a color!"

J2: "NO! it is not!"

J1: "It is a color!"

J2: "Rabbi, is black a color?"

Rabbi: "Well, sure..."

J1: "See, I told you. And so is white!"

J2: "White is not a color!"

J1: "Rabbi?"

Rabbi: "Well, yes, white is a color"

J1: "See, I told you Moishe, I sold you a *color* TV"

Purple is my least favourite color

I hate it more than red and blue combined.

I thought with my vasectomy my wife wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

I guess it just changes the color of the baby.

My wife arranged the plates by color and size...

It's a rare dish order

Why is it good to be color blind?

Because people can't call you racist.

What did the color say to the other color?

I love hue.

What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common?

Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.

Four Surgeons are getting coffee

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work. The first one said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. Everything inside is numbered".

"I think librarians are the easiest" said the second surgeon. "When you open them up all their organs are alphabetically ordered".

The third surgeon said, "I prefer to operate on electricians. All their organs are color coded".

The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They are heartless, spineless, gutless, and their head and their ass are interchangeable."

Grandpa: You can tell if a guy is gay from the color of his underwear.

Grandson: You mean like if they're pink, or purple?

Grandpa: What the hell is wrong with a guy wearing pink or purple?! No, no, no: white stains on the back side, brown stains on the front!

Two Jews, Moishe and Abram, are arguing.

Moishe: Black is a color

Abram: No it is not.

Moishe: I'm telling you, black is a color.

Abram: No, it's not.

They go to the rabbi.

Moishe: Rebbe, is black a color?

Rabbi: Yes, Moshe, black is indeed a color.

Moshe: See, Abram, I told you.

Abram: Okay, but white is not a color,

Moishe: Yes it is.

Abram: No, it is not.

Moishe: Rebbe, is white a color?

Rabbi: Yes, Moishe, white is indeed a color.

Moishe: See, I told you I sold you a color TV.

Went to the opticians.

She told me that I was color blind.


Well I must say, that came right out of the purple.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the color pigment jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working color colour piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes