Colony Jokes
96 colony jokes and hilarious colony puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about colony that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Did you know there were thirteen colonies? Explore a unique collection of jokes inspired by the leper colony, penal colony, outposts, tribes and ants that inhabited the colonies. Laugh away with these hilarious colony jokes!
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Funniest Colony Short Jokes
Short colony jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The colony humour may include short empire jokes also.
- If Elon Musk's space company establishes a mars colony, and you have a girlfriend on mars, but later break up because of long distance, she'd be your.... Space x.
- All groups of animals have unique names: a gaggle of geese, a pod of whales, a colony of ants… so what do you call a group of Karens? An HOA
- Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair.
- Why was Portugal the best colonial power? Spain had thousands of colonists, Britain had millions, but Portugal had BRAZILIANS.
- Why do fish form schools, but ants form colonies? Cause *truants* don't go to school!
(I came up with this right now) - Whenever an ant gets injured, instead of helping, the rest of the colony just leaves it to die. It's like the old saying goes: If an ant broke, dont fix it
- Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony? The guy that can hold a cup of coffee in each hand and 6 donuts
- Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch... One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs." - What do you call the an ant in a colony who is responsible for establishing incoming trade deals with other ant colonies? Import-ant
- TIL King George III had a strong distaste for The Colonies In fact he found them revolting.
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Colony One Liners
Which colony one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with colony? I can suggest the ones about colonel and territory.
- How do find the blind man at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
- My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony. I was born ready.
- A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony. Police are looking into it.
- I recently joined a nudist colony. The first few days were the hardest.
- What do you call a sad community of melons? A melancholy melon colony.
- The local nudist colony has an New Years introductory offer New members take 50% off
- Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist Colony? The first day was his hardest
- The discriminatory ant colony banished all ants over 4 mm tall They had no taller ants
- What do you call a colonial pharmacist? A PILL-gram.
- The nudist colony restaurant was so bad Even the salad was undressed
- What did the colonial powers say to the Horn of Africa? 'I'm coming for Djibouti'
- I joined a nudist colony in Canada. To be honest, I'm starting to get cold feet.
- How do you maintain a healthy ant colony? Ensure ants
- What do Americans and ants have in common? They both live in colonies.
- What do you call the dance hall at a nudist colony? The ball room.
13 Colony Jokes
Here is a list of funny 13 colony jokes and even better 13 colony puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the nba finals.. ..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776
- Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead
- Amidst all of the distractions on this 4th of July, let's not forget what we're celebrating That the British blew a 13 colony lead
Hilarious Fun Colony Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about colony you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean plantation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make colony pranks.
Sweet Dreams
"Doc, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I was the only man in a nudist colony."
"My, my," responded the doctor. "Did you sleep well?"
"I tried," answered the patient, "but it was hard."
The day your father tells you this joke is the day your childhood ends.
How can you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It isn't hard
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scotland
Why do the Scots like lying? They are scared the truth would set them free.
Why do Scots love ants? They also like to live in a colony.
Why don't Scots like punk rock groups? They put their music on independent labels.
What is the most unpopular dance in Scotland? The indepen-dance.
How are Scots similar to bicycles? They both need chains around them.
Why have Scots stopped wearing rings? Because freedom rings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As told by an Austrian engineer
Three engineers, a Brit, a Frenchman, and an Austrian, were found guilty of treason in a former colony. The sentence was death by guillotine, but the engineers were given a choice of receiving the penalty face-up, or face-down. The Brit chose face-up and the blade miraculously stopped inches short of his t**.... This was seen as a sign from God, and the Brit was set free. The French engineer also chose face-up, and once again, the blade stopped inches from the t**.... Again, a miracle, and the Frenchman was set free. The Austrian, not to be outdone, chose face-up, but just before the blade was released was heard to proclaim, "Wait a minute, I see the problem."
I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony.
I just imagined everyone with their clothes on.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
3 guys in a nudist colony...
...a politician, a general, and an esteemed professor. They're happily enjoying their 'air bath' when they notice a photographer from a newspaper peering over the fence trying to get an embarrassing photo of them.
The politician and the general both immediately cover their g**... but the professor covers his face, the other two notice this and ask him, "what are you doing?" To which he replies, "I'm fairly certain I'm more recognizable for my f**... features than my g**....
What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?
He experiences culture shock.
A Story of Two Bees
So once upon a time, there were two bees, and they were out collecting pollen for their hive. It was going well at first, but soon the clouds started to gather together. One bee said to Two bee, "We better hurry up and meet our quota, it looks like it's going to rain." Two bee said to One bee, "Yes, I agree. Our colony is in grave danger of starvation, and we need to bring them this pollen."
But soon, the rain began. The bees headed for shelter, but before long, One Bee was hit by a drop of water. Two Bee rushed to his side, and dragged him under a leaf, but it was too late. As One Bee lay dying, he said "Two Bee, you must live. Take the pollen I have gathered, the hive needs it. And when you return, tell my wife and children, I love them. Go on without me," then died.
As the rain cleared up, Two Bee knew he still had a long journey ahead of him, so he set his emotions aside.
What happened next?
Two Bee Continued.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Communist Nudists
These two guys were sitting outside at a nudist colony. After talking for a while, they discovered they were both believers in Communism.
The first one said to the other
"You seem very familiar with this. Have you read Marx?"
To which the second replied, "Yes, and I think it's from sitting in these wicker chairs!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to an ice hockey game at the local l**... colony
There was a face off in the corner
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
First hockey game at the l**... colony
There was a face off and a hand-pass
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the l**... colony ?
Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out.
A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?"
The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"
A historian and an economist are sitting on the porch of a nudist colony...
The historian asks, "Have you read Marx?"
The economist replies, "Yes, I think it's the wicker chairs."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the worst part about a blizzard in a l**... colony?
Stepping outside in the morning to find a foot on the roof of your car
If my nephew was born in a colony
does that make me his ant?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't think people will get this but how do you trigger an American ?
You tell them that the country is still a British colony
Working at a nudist colony is wierd. I just got sacked...
And it came with a raise
Why is it so hard to be gay in a nudist colony?
There aren't any closets to come out of
My friend asked me if I would like to go to a nudist colony with him later...
I said, _"Sure! I've got nothing on... Might as well!"_
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear that Donald Trump ripped up the Paris Agreement today?
Unfortunately he grabbed the wrong one, and now the US is a British colony again.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"We Do Not Have A Child s**... Colony On Mars."
They are free to leave the dome whenever they wish.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the proper term for the Mayor of a nudist colony?
A p**... Servant
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you play s**... poker in a nudist colony?
With tweezers!
People have become so mean, ruthless and straightforward these days I tell you,
There is an eye clinic in my colony named "Asif Eye Care"
Why did the bacterial colony overstay their visa in Ireland?
Because they had a really nice Dublin time.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why should you always avoid the food at a nudist colony?
Because there's a good chance it's t**....
What did the queen bee say to her colony after a close encounter with a bear?
What a time to bee a hive!
What do you call a colony of batteries?
An amp hill.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an ant that feels they deserve to mate with the queen but the colony is rigged against them.?
An incel-ant.
A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony for being too curious.
Apparently he was putting his nose in everyone's business.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I sometimes do stand-up comedy for a l**... colony.
My jokes have them all cracking up.
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
He's the one installing the blinds.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when rodents invade a b**... colony?
Hamsterdam
A man moves into a nudist colony
Once he got to his new location, he received a letter from his mother asking him to send a picture of himself in his new location. Embarrassed about moving into a nudist colony, the man decides to take a picture of himself and cut it in half to send to his mother. After he sends the picture to his mother, he realizes he has sent the wrong half. He knows his mother has poor eyesight and hopes that she does not see it very well. When he gets a return letter, the letter read "Son, change your hairstyle, it makes your nose look short."
Business can be generated any how!
An advocate goes to a gift shop 7 days before Valentine's Day.
He bought 40 beautiful cards and wrote - "To my love !! I hope you recognize! Meet me in the evening, "I love you"
The shopkeeper asked: What is the matter?
So the lawyer said - I sent such cards to the nearby colony on the last Valentine's Day. In a few days, I got four cases of divorce.
This time I am sending 40 cards
The Photo
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Get a haircut; it makes your nose look too short."
Love Grandma
Joey moves to a nudist colony
Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads
Dear Joey
Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.
Love Grandma
My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony.
He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does the U.S smell so good?
Because it was a colony once.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Welcome to the 23rd annual l**... Colony marathon! We now go down to our racers at the start of the first leg.
Aaaaaand they're off!
I once saw an antelope
Can you imagine that? It was the talk of the whole ant colony.
A hole was discovered in the fence surrounding the local nudist colony
Police are looking into it
A bunch of insects are having a formal get together and decide to invite a simple drone worker whose sole function is to carry whatever the queen wants back to the colony...
Becoming all excited at the prospect of doing something different he decides to dress himself in the best suit there is but he cannot seem to complete the look with a half-windsor knot.
Such a complicated task required more skilled mandibles so he goes over to his boss but suddenly gets crushed by a rock and dies.
What did you expect? It's an ant tie joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
While performing I asked the crowd to give me a hand.
When I was given a hand, I realised I should have thought twice about performing at the l**... Colony.
A couple of gentlemen were sitting by the pool at a nudist colony. One of them was reading "Mein Kampf". "Have you read Marx too?", asks one.
"Yes", replies the other, "but I think it's the wicker chairs.".
How did the man become the most popular at the nudist colony?
He caught six doughnuts with no hands.
Just found out there was a anew town in America for sad people who just ate fruit.
Twas a melon colony.
Two friends are arguing...
"Look, I have a colony of ants!"
"Well, I have taller ants than you"
"Oh, well I have a tube of glue"
"Hah, I have an entire tin"
"I got bread!"
"Argh, you win! I can't handle that bread with my glue tin 'n' taller ants"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A f**... was kicked out of his colony and asked his friend why ... he replied:
You simply don't fit the mould.
Growing up in a colony, the nuns told me to never turn your back on a priest.
I mean, there's a reason why they became missionaries.
Did you hear about the nudist who violated the colony rules?
They were caught with their pants up.
So I heard there's a group of optometrists who founded a colony on an archipelago off the coast of Alaska, but the islands themselves are very weird to look at.
They're called the Optical Aleutians.
Did you know that all frogs decended from a small colony in Poland?
even now they are all born a tad-polish
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A group of bats is a colony, crows is a m**..., sheep is a flock. What is a group of idiots called?
A Freedom Caucus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about the luxury resort l**... colony?
Apparently it costs an arm and a leg to go there.
