Colony Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

How do find the blind man at the nudist colony?

It's not hard.

Nudist colony

Q- How can you tell the blind guy at a nudist colony?
A- It's not hard.

Q- Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
A- The one carrying a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen donuts.

Q- Who is the most popular girl at the nudist colony?
A- The one who can eat the last donut.

My friend asked me if I was ready to go to the nudist colony.

I was born ready.

A hole appeared in the wall around the local nudist colony.

Police are looking into it.

Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony?

He kept getting in everyone's hair.

"We Do Not Have A Child Slave Colony On Mars."

They are free to leave the dome whenever they wish.

How do you find a blind guy in a nudist colony?

it isn't hard.

Who is the most popular guy in the nudist colony?

The one that can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts at the same time.

The most popular woman?

The one that can eat the 12th doughnut.

How do you spot a blind man in a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

I recently joined a nudist colony.

The first few days were the hardest.

Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one that can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The guy that can hold a cup of coffee in each hand and 6 donuts

Joey moves to a nudist colony

Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.

He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads

Dear Joey

Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.

Love Grandma

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The one who can bring his friends two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

I recently joined a nudist colony..

The first week was the hardest

Two men at the Communist Nudist Colony are sitting on the porch...

One turns to the other and says, "I say old boy, have you read marx?"
The other says, "Yes, I believe it's these wicker chairs."

I vacationed at a nudist colony this past summer...

the first few days were the hardest.

What do you call the an ant in a colony who is responsible for establishing incoming trade deals with other ant colonies?

Import-ant

It is the year 2066.

Scientists in the space colony on Mars are testing the feasibility of using animals to navigate the natural landscape. They decide to send a cat in a spacesuit with a radio collar and a camera to roam around.

After a day, they notice the radio collar hasn't been moving in several hours. The scientists walk over to the location of the radio collar and discover the remains of a brutally dismembered cat. Confused, the scientists take the corpse, camera, and collar back to the lab for analysis. Upon reviewing the camera footage, they discover something truly disconcerting.

Curiosity killed the cat.

How to spot a blind guy in a nudist colony?

It ain't hard.

Who's the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The guy who can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

As told by an Austrian engineer

Three engineers, a Brit, a Frenchman, and an Austrian, were found guilty of treason in a former colony. The sentence was death by guillotine, but the engineers were given a choice of receiving the penalty face-up, or face-down. The Brit chose face-up and the blade miraculously stopped inches short of his throat. This was seen as a sign from God, and the Brit was set free. The French engineer also chose face-up, and once again, the blade stopped inches from the throat. Again, a miracle, and the Frenchman was set free. The Austrian, not to be outdone, chose face-up, but just before the blade was released was heard to proclaim, "Wait a minute, I see the problem."

Most popular

Who is the most popular guy in a nudist colony?
The guy that can carry two pots of coffee and a dozen donuts.
Who is the most popular girl?
The girl that eats the last donut.

Who is the most popular guy at a nudist colony?

The guy that can carry a dozen doughnuts and 2 cups of coffee.

Did you hear about the hole in the nudist colony fence?

The police are looking into it.

Don't let the Golden State Warriors blowing a 3 - 1 lead in the NBA finals..

..distract you from the fact that the British blew a 13 colony lead in 1776

I was trying to get over my fear of public speaking at a nudist colony.

I just imagined everyone with their clothes on.

A man moves into a nudist colony

Once he got to his new location, he received a letter from his mother asking him to send a picture of himself in his new location. Embarrassed about moving into a nudist colony, the man decides to take a picture of himself and cut it in half to send to his mother. After he sends the picture to his mother, he realizes he has sent the wrong half. He knows his mother has poor eyesight and hopes that she does not see it very well. When he gets a return letter, the letter read "Son, change your hairstyle, it makes your nose look short."

How do you find a blind man in a nude colony...?

It's... not hard

What happens to a bacteria when he travels from his home colony to another?

He experiences culture shock.

Sweet Dreams

"Doc, I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I was the only man in a nudist colony."

"My, my," responded the doctor. "Did you sleep well?"

"I tried," answered the patient, "but it was hard."

Communist Nudists

These two guys were sitting outside at a nudist colony. After talking for a while, they discovered they were both believers in Communism.

The first one said to the other
"You seem very familiar with this. Have you read Marx?"

To which the second replied, "Yes, and I think it's from sitting in these wicker chairs!"

A Story of Two Bees

So once upon a time, there were two bees, and they were out collecting pollen for their hive. It was going well at first, but soon the clouds started to gather together. One bee said to Two bee, "We better hurry up and meet our quota, it looks like it's going to rain." Two bee said to One bee, "Yes, I agree. Our colony is in grave danger of starvation, and we need to bring them this pollen."

But soon, the rain began. The bees headed for shelter, but before long, One Bee was hit by a drop of water. Two Bee rushed to his side, and dragged him under a leaf, but it was too late. As One Bee lay dying, he said "Two Bee, you must live. Take the pollen I have gathered, the hive needs it. And when you return, tell my wife and children, I love them. Go on without me," then died.

As the rain cleared up, Two Bee knew he still had a long journey ahead of him, so he set his emotions aside.

What happened next?

Two Bee Continued.

How do you tell who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

He can carry two cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

How do you know who the most popular man at a nudist colony is?

The one that can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and still carry a dozen donuts


How to tell who the most popular woman is?
The one that can eat the last donut

My dwarf friend was permanently banned from the nudist colony.

He kept sticking his nose in other people's business.

While performing I asked the crowd to give me a hand.

When I was given a hand, I realised I should have thought twice about performing at the Leper Colony.

popular male at a nudist colony

Q: Who's the most popular male at a nudist colony?
A: The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

Do not let the fact that today is July 4th distract you

From the fact that England blew a 13 colony lead

Two older men are sitting at a communist nudist colony...

Two older men are sitting at a communist nudist colony.

One asks the other, "Hey, have you read Marx?"

The other man replies, "Yeah, I think it's from these wicker chairs."

A bunch of insects are having a formal get together and decide to invite a simple drone worker whose sole function is to carry whatever the queen wants back to the colony...

Becoming all excited at the prospect of doing something different he decides to dress himself in the best suit there is but he cannot seem to complete the look with a half-windsor knot.

Such a complicated task required more skilled mandibles so he goes over to his boss but suddenly gets crushed by a rock and dies.

What did you expect? It's an ant tie joke.

Did you hear about the midget that got kicked out of the nudist colony?

He was getting into everybody's hair...

Business can be generated any how!

An advocate goes to a gift shop 7 days before Valentine's Day.


He bought 40 beautiful cards and wrote - "To my love !! I hope you recognize! Meet me in the evening, "I love you"
The shopkeeper asked: What is the matter?
So the lawyer said - I sent such cards to the nearby colony on the last Valentine's Day. In a few days, I got four cases of divorce.
This time I am sending 40 cards

At a nudist colony for intellectuals, two old men are sitting on the porch...

One turns to the other and says,
"I say old man, have you read Marx?"
The other man replies, "Yes, it's these stupid wicker chairs."

A dwarf was kicked out of a nudist colony for being too curious.

Apparently he was putting his nose in everyone's business.

Did you hear about the hockey game in the leper colony?

There was a face-off on the ice.

Why did the dwarf get kicked out of the nudist colony?

He kept sticking his nose in everyone's business

How do you spot Ronald McDonald at a nudist colony?

He's the one with the sesame seed buns.

How do you find a naked man in a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

I sometimes do stand-up comedy for a leper colony.

My jokes have them all cracking up.

3 guys in a nudist colony...

...a politician, a general, and an esteemed professor. They're happily enjoying their 'air bath' when they notice a photographer from a newspaper peering over the fence trying to get an embarrassing photo of them.
The politician and the general both immediately cover their genitals but the professor covers his face, the other two notice this and ask him, "what are you doing?" To which he replies, "I'm fairly certain I'm more recognizable for my facial features than my genitals.

What do you call it when rodents invade a beaver colony?

Hamsterdam

You know who the most popular guy at a nudist colony is?

The one who can walk with 2 cups of coffee and a dozen donuts.

The day your father tells you this joke is the day your childhood ends.

How can you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It isn't hard

A little old lady told me this at work.

Who is the most popular male at a nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee and 12 donuts.

And the most popular woman?

The lady that can eat the last donut without getting her hands sticky.

The nudist colony restaurant was so bad

Even the salad was undressed

The Photo

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.

He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.

A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, "Thank you for the picture. Get a haircut; it makes your nose look too short."
Love Grandma

How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

It ain't hard

Gerrard and the nudist beach

Gerrard, a young Parisian stud, books himself a couple of weeks at a coastal nudist colony to work on the tan (and the ladies) but on his first day he realises his member looks like a milk bottle compared to the rest of his tanned, toned body - he doesn't believe in sunbeds and you can't exactly bathe naked on the banks of the Sienne. Thinking quickly, he finds a quite cove of the resort, covers his bits in factor 2 and burries himself in the sand, leaving just his cock and balls sticking out. Shortly thereafter two old ladies happen by.
"Well would you look at that?" says one. "A cock, just there on the beach like that."
"I know." Says the other. "When I was twenty I'd do anything for one. When I was thirty it had to be the right one. When I was forty I had to work for one. When I was fifty I couldn't get one..."
"Aye" says the other woman. "And now the fuckers are growing wild!"

It's Easy

Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony?
A: It's not hard.

A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?"

The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"

Amidst all of the distractions on this 4th of July, let's not forget what we're celebrating

That the British blew a 13 colony lead

I joined a nudist colony in Canada.

To be honest, I'm starting to get cold feet.

My friend asked me if I would like to go to a nudist colony with him later...

I said, _"Sure! I've got nothing on... Might as well!"_

Don't think people will get this but how do you trigger an American ?

You tell them that the country is still a British colony

My girlfriend refused to join my nudist colony.

I would call her very clothes-minded but that would make me a dickhead.

Why did the prostitute leave the leper colony?

Because her business was falling off.

What did the lepers say to the prostitute?

You can keep the tip.

How do you maintain a healthy ant colony?

Ensure ants

Did you hear that Donald Trump ripped up the Paris Agreement today?

Unfortunately he grabbed the wrong one, and now the US is a British colony again.

What are the funniest colony jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Colony? Well, here are the best Colony puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Colony pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes