Colonoscopy Jokes
46 colonoscopy jokes and hilarious colonoscopy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about colonoscopy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some funny colonoscopy jokes? We've got you covered! From knock-knock jokes to one-liners, we've gathered the best colonoscopy jokes to make you laugh.
Funniest Colonoscopy Short Jokes
Short colonoscopy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The colonoscopy humour may include short colon removal jokes also.
- If you can't afford healthcare... Go to an airport. They give free x-rays and mammograms, and if you mention al-Qaeda, they'll throw in a free colonoscopy too!
- The weirdest part about my colonoscopy was the doctor telling me that I'd feel a bit of pressure, but both of his hands were on my shoulders.
- I asked my proctologist:. What happened to all the patients who had their colonoscopys delayed due to covid..... He said, "oh we got caught up. Everyone got it in the end".
- I would rather have a colonoscopy than read twitter comments With a colonoscopy there's only a CHANCE you'll find cancer.
- After I had my colonoscopy, the proctologist asked if I had any questions. Apparently "Do you do birthday parties?" was the wrong answer.
- I told her that she touched me deeper than anyone has ever touched me before. And she said yes, the colonoscopy went well.
- I've been waiting for an hour in the doctors waiting to be called back for my colonoscopy... Guess they are really backed up today
- My English professor had a colonoscopy... Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
- I requested a gay male doctor for my colonoscopy... because it is expensive and someone ought to enjoy it.
- The best hand of all Had some buddies over to play poker the night before my colonoscopy.
It was quite a game, flush after flush after flush.
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Colonoscopy One Liners
Which colonoscopy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with colonoscopy? I can suggest the ones about enema and bowel.
- What does arnold schwarzenegger call a colonoscopy? A Cameron Diaz
- What they tell you in the colonoscopy waiting room km13e4yv9ReZNQSVKwx5G9xrGfpM1O
- If 2020 were a drink, what would it be? A colonoscopy prep.
- What is the correct toast to someone drinking their colonoscopy prep? Bottoms up!
- Had a colonoscopy the other day, Worst dentist appointment I've ever had.
- I forgot to pay my colonoscopy bill. Now I'm in arrears.
- How do you call an exploration mission to uranus Colonoscopy
- Yo Momma so ugly She goes to the dentist for a colonoscopy.
- Did you hear about the golfer who started a colonoscopy clinic? He does 18 holes a day.
- What should the real name for a colonoscopy be? A colonoscopoo.
- What do you call the camera used for colonoscopys? A GoProbe.
- The light at the end of the tunnel.. ..is colonoscopy
- What do you get when you cross a dislexic and a magician? A rabbit colonoscopy
- What did Sonic say before his colonoscopy? Gotta go fast.
- What do you call a Scottish person with a colonoscopy bag? A human bagpipe.
Colonoscopy Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about colonoscopy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean surgery jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make colonoscopy pranks.
So I had a colonoscopy today...
While my doctor was preparing me for the examination he said, "Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an e**..."
"I haven't got an e**...," I said.
"No, but I have." he replied.
Proctologist
A guy goes in to his proctologist for a colonoscopy. The doctor has the camera up there, watching the video on the screen. The doctor says, "At this point in the process, it's normal to experience an e**...."
The guys says, "But, doctor, I don't have an e**...."
The doctor says, "I wasn't talking about *you*."
At the hospital
I went to the hospital today for a Gastroscopy test.
In the waiting room the doctor came through and explained the situation to the four of us sat waiting there.
He explained that I was having the Gastroscopy, which is the camera down the t**....
Whilst the other three were there for a Colonoscopy, which is the camera up the a**.... The doctor asked if we had any questions.
I said: "Yes. Can I go first?"
Colonoscopy Prep
My girlfriend is going in to get a colonoscopy tomorrow. She wants me to pick up some large Googly-eyes to make her a**... look like a face, then she wants to tuck in a post-it note saying Psssst: we've been wanting to talk to you about your car's extended warranty.
Never a dull moment here.
If you need a gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy...
I can r**...-end one.
Colonoscopy
A man gets released from his first colonoscopy into the recovery room. His wife and doctor arrive bedside to discuss the results of his operation. Before the doctor can open his mouth, the wife says "Did you find his head?"
An elderly gentleman goes in for his usual colonoscopy exam....
As he lay on his side on the table, the doctor got ready to do the examination.
As the doctor was going in, he looked at the patient and smiled and said, "Don't worry, it's quite normal to get an e**...."
The patient, embarrassed, stated earnestly, "But I haven't got an e**...."
The doctor said, "No, but I do."
That new vet really s**... up my pig's colonoscopy
He's pretty ham-f**...
I recently had a colonoscopy...
I learned that my wife is wrong and my head is not up there.
My first colonoscopy..
...wasn't that bad. Once the sedatives wore off, I was surprised how little pain I was in. I just couldn't figure out how the doctor did it with both hands on my shoulders.
