Following is our collection of funny Colon jokes. There are some colon intestinal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these colon colonoscopy puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
For example,
Jane ate her friend's sandwich
Becomes
Jane ate her friend's colon.
For example:
Johnny ate his own lunch after school.
Johnny ate his own colon after school.
While my doctor was preparing me for the examination he said, "Don't worry, at this stage of the procedure it's quite normal to get an erection"
"I haven't got an erection," I said.
"No, but I have." he replied.
I:: have::: colon: cancer::
She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
I used to go out with an English teacher, but she dumped me.
She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
"Got awful grammar? Buy this colon!"
Are you only left with a semi colon?
"What do you mean, 'Punctuation Sex?" she
queried.
"It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."
km13e4yv9ReZNQSVKwx5G9xrGfpM1O
It's what a colon does.
You can explore colon unreadable reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean colon toucans dad jokes. There are also colon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I said "that's ok honey, that's what the colon is for"!
...before anyone knows how to use the colon.
I just asked him to edit my essay; and he said I have semi colon problems. He must be a smart guy; if he can figure that out from my writing.
because I just lost my pants to a mudslide.
A man gets released from his first colonoscopy into the recovery room. His wife and doctor arrive bedside to discuss the results of his operation. Before the doctor can open his mouth, the wife says "Did you find his head?"
Turns out he had colon cancer so he had to have surgery to remove the tumor. Now he has a semi-colon.
Improper: Colon placement
All I'll have left is a ;
Now i only have a semicolon
Because I'm gutless, spineless, and my brain and colon are interchangeable.
She thinks she might be pregnant. After the examination, the doctor comes out to see her.
Doctor: *"Well, I hope you like changing diapers."*
Patient: *"Oh my god, are you serious? Am I pregnant?"*
Doctor: *"No, you've got colon cancer."*
I used to go out with an English Teacher but we eventually broke up because she disliked my improper use of the colon.
The Semi colon. They're good at separating independent clauses.
and while I was waiting for the doctor to come back I overheard a couple nurses at the nurses' station discussing another ER patient's case.
Apparently this dude had come in complaining of rectal pain. They took an X-Ray and found at least 8 toy horses in his colon. It sounded serious, but they described his condition as stable.
She always corrects my grammar while having sex. I'll go "suck it good" and she'll reply "it's suck it well!". I'll say "Who's your daddy" and she'll correct "who's your dad".
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of colon.
For example,
I come in a car
I come in a colon
you'll divide me.
He said "I've been dealing with assh-les all day."
Because they both... did murder most foul.
Apparently "Do you do birthday parties?" was the wrong answer.
She used to get really annoyed with my improper use of the colon.
(Gary Delaney)
They were incorrect. Tomatoes are not poisonous and will eat them.
One sperm says to the other "Jeez, I'm tired! How long til we get to the egg?" The other sperm says, "It's going to be a while, we just got past the colon."
They both yell at me for misusing the colon.
A Colon 1.
...but she dumped me for inappropriate use of the colon.
A colon
It ends with a whole colon instead of a semicolon.
It was the colon. It was creating irritable vowel syndrome.
"So how's it go with that chick last night? She was an English teacher , right?"
"Yeah, she got dressed and left a few minutes after we got in bed"
"Shame. Why'd she do so?"
"I guess she didn't like my improper use of the colon."
To find it you had to hit these keys in this sequence on your keyboard it was "Enter" "Colon" "Pound, pound, pound"
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of the colon.
I just wish they had told me you are supposed to eat them.
Worst dentist appointment I've ever had.
Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch
becomes
Jimmy went to school and ate his colon
but she broke up with me due to incorrect use of the colon
His father is taken aback by the question but decides to tell the son the truth.
"Well, son," he says, "food passes down the oesophagus, enters the stomach, where digestive enzymes induce a probiotic reaction. Then it passes through the alimentary canal before waste enters the colon, and then it finally emerges as poo."
"Wow," says the boy. "So where does Tigger come from?"
The price is too steep!
He wakes up in recovery where the surgeon explains that they were able to successfully remove the giant sex toy from his colon.
Remove it!?! I just came here to get the batteries changed.
Her: Really? Is he in a coma?
Me: No. A semi colon.
With a colonoscopy there's only a CHANCE you'll find cancer.
So far no effect, but it sure gave my colon a great idea.
But I think fiber makes a solid number two.
Doctor: I'm really sorry, but we've had to remove your colon.
Me why?
She dumped me however...
She didn't like my improper use of the colon.
Example:
I ate Julie's sandwich.
I ate Julie's colon.
Shββe getββs particularlββy annoyeββd abouββt mββy impropeββr usββe oββf thββe colon.
'I'm coming for Djibouti'
But she dumped me for improper use of the colon...
Shββe getββs particularlββy annoyeββd abouββt mββy impropeββr usββe oββf thββe colon.
Me why?
Me Why?
me why?
Patient really?
Doctor yes, we have successfully removed the colon.
- Jane ate her friend's sandwich.
-
- - Jane ate her friend's colon.
Rich people have colon cleanses
Poor people have taco bell
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the colon smg jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working colon rectum piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.