Colombian Jokes

Following is our collection of argentinian puns and paralympics one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Colombian jokes for adults, dirty argentine jokes and clean mexican dad gags for kids.

The Best Colombian Puns

"Oh man, Juan Valdez died this morning."

Ok, so it's not a 'joke' joke, but that's what you say. Maybe at work, at the bar with friends. Say it in a lull in the conversation. If you're really good, say it while scanning the paper or a news site.


Some people go, "oh!" And some people say, "wait, the Colombian coffee merchant?" and some people say, "oh my god, he *did?*" People always say something.


And then *you* say, "he did, he was assassinated. Someone from a drug cartel shot him with a golf gun. Bizarre story."


And you leave it there.


And if someone presses further, perhaps mention how terrible it must be to get shot by a golf gun.


And you'll eventually be asked, "what's a golf gun?"



To which you say, "don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan!"

What do they call a talkative Colombian?

Hablo Escobar

What's the difference between a clown and a colombian?

Ones a smug juggler the other is a drug smuggler.

They walk in the bar

A bartender is working at an upscale bar downtown when all of the sudden, an Englishman, a Dane, a Frenchman, a German, a Russian, an American, a Canadian, a Mexican, a Peruvian, a Brazilian, a Colombian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Korean, 29 different Africans from all different African countries, and an Indian all walk in to the bar.

And the bartender says to them, sorry gentlemen, but you can't come here without a Thai.

^thanks ^SnW

Mom, I am very worried...

Mom, I am very worried, I have lost 3 kg.

- But that are great news, You should be very happy.

Yeah, Say it to my Colombian *friends*


I once knew a Colombian conductor.

He was arrested for the murder of a passenger and in his confession he said he did it because the passenger was wearing pink shoes. I never would have thought that he was capable of something like this, but I must admit he had a locomotive.

I like my women like I like my coffee...

... Colombian ;)

I like my women how I like my coffee.

The largest size I can get and preferably Colombian.

I thought I would post the joke with my punchline instead of plugging it every time this joke is used.

What did the Colombian druglord say after being caught by the local youngsters?

And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you MedellΓ­n kids.

As Colombian authorities chased down drug kingpin Pablo Escobar, his last words before they shot him were:

"I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you MedellΓ­n kids"

My boss asked me to take a drug test

I told him I've already tried most, but I'm always up for some pure Colombian.


What do you call a Colombian coffee farmer?

A grounds keeper.

Colombian Necktie

Did the man with the Colombian necktie like his necktie?

He couldn't say.

There is an abundance of cuban jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 13 funniest jokes and colombian puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any brazilian witze you can hear about colombian.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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