Collie Jokes
35 collie jokes and hilarious collie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about collie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Check out these funny Collie jokes that will make you ROFL! From the Border Collie to the Poodle and the Rottweiler to the kitty, you're sure to get a few good laughs.
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Funniest Collie Short Jokes
Short collie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The collie humour may include short collar jokes also.
- I've finally taught my dog to fetch a glass of red wine. He's a Bordeaux Collie
And yes, he paws it himself... - What do you get when you cross a border collie with a pit bull? A dog that is smart enough to bury the bodies.
- What do you call a sad dog ? A Melan-Collie.
What do you call a sadder dog ?
A Chi-Waah-Waah. - My dog got a cantaloupe stuck on his head Ever since then he's been a little melon collie.
- I used to have a border collie... ...then my parents fed him too much and he became husky.
- What was the name of that white girl's Collie who went on all those adventures in Ethiopia between 1930 and 1974? Haley's Lassie
- I was totally shocked that my Border Collie loved the Harry Potter movies I mean, he completely hated the books
- I'm not sure how to feel about this... but I was sold a herding dog for my cantaloupe patch. He's a little melon-collie.
- What kind of dogs will patrol the Trump wall? Border Collies!
I just came up with this after not sleeping for 30+ hours. Sorry for the cheesy goodness. - My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice. She's a watered melancholy watermelon collie.
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Collie One Liners
Which collie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with collie? I can suggest the ones about colt and puppy.
- What's half fruit, half dog and is rather sad? A Melon Collie.
...I'll get my coat. - I want to get a border collie. The one I have isn't bored enough.
- What do you call a sad dog that likes to eat fruit? A melon-collie.
- What do you get if you mix Lassie and a canteloupe? Melon-Collie.
- I love my dog, but he's very unpredictable. He's a borderline collie.
- I got a new Collie! He doesn't like being home alone, so I named my Collie Culkin
- What's Donald Trump's favorite dog breed? A close-the-border collie.
- What did the greek biologist say when she got glue all over her? E. Colli
- Why was the dog that looked like a canteloupe sad? She was a Melon-Collie
- What does Arizona name Colorado? Border Collie
- Border collies are not very i**...... You know what dogs *are* i**...?
Hotdogs.
Collie Dog Jokes
Here is a list of funny collie dog jokes and even better collie dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A lot of people didn't know that Mozart's dog started to turn into a piece of fruit. He composed a piece about it. It was a melon-collie tune....
- A talented artist sculpts a dog out of melons. After it looks perfect, he takes a picture of it, then starts eating it. He is suddenly very sad.
He was full of *melon-collie*.
Border Collie Jokes
Here is a list of funny border collie jokes and even better border collie puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How many Border Collies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. And I can fix any loose wiring while I'm at it.
Silly & Ridiculous Collie Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about collie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dog collars jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make collie pranks.
Sheep
At the end of the day, a border collie reported back to the grazier, "All fifty sheep accounted for, boss!"
"Wait, I only have 48 sheep!" he replied.
"I know," said the dog, "but I rounded them up."
A Collie was talking about how hard he works on the farm where he lives.
A nearby sheep piped up 'YOU don't work hard, all you do is boss US around.' 'WHAT DID YOU SAY' shouted the collie. 'You herd me' the sheep replied
Help needed.
Well our worst fears have been confirmed today. My wife is allergic to our pet collie. Now I know this isn't a re-homing site and some of you may take umbrage with this not being a interesting political post, but could someone please find a little place in their heart to help me out. She is reasonably house trained and can be very loving at times.
Her name is Maxine and she is 44.
Two border collies are going to sleep on their farm.
Suddenly there is a loud noise from the sheep area.
Tom the border collie jumps up asking, "Did you hear that from the sheep, Boomer?"
Boomer the Collie: "Of course I herd them."
My labrador and my collie do everything together.
You could say that they're great at collaborating.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blind man and cabbage
A blind man walks into a bar with a cabbage on a lead.
The bartender asks him why he has a cabbage on the lead, Cabbage? he replies... "oh god d**...... i got ripped off ... i was told it a collie!"
Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven
Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.
The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."
"Fine then, you're in," said God.
The collie said, "I was always faithful to my master and brought the family together when they were down."
"Sounds wonderful," said God. "Welcome."
Then it was the cat's turn. "Why should we let you in?" asked God.
"Well actually, I think you're in my chair."
A Bulldog, Doberman, and a Chihuahua Walk Into a Bar...
A Bulldog, Doberman, and Chihuahua walk into a bar looking for a cool drink. A beautiful female Collie struts by and stops at their table, saying: "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."
So the Doberman says, "I love liver and cheese!" The Collie replies: "That's not good enough for me."
The Bulldog grumbles, "I hate liver and cheese." The Collies says: "That's not creative enough for me."
Finally the Chihuahua says: "Liver alone... cheese mine."
