Collider Jokes

49 collider jokes and hilarious collider puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about collider that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

A collection of hilarious jokes about the Large Hadron Collider, the biggest and most powerful particle accelerator yet! Discover humorous and witty observations from physicists and other experts who have interacted with the Higgs Boson. Enjoy a light-hearted look at one of the most advanced scientific discoveries in history.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Collider Short Jokes

Short collider jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The collider humour may include short collided jokes also.

  1. Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway, Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals
  2. Did you hear about the Mucinex truck that collided with a Nyquil truck on the highway? Amazingly, the entire area was congestion-free for over 8 hours.
  3. Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea. Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned
  4. Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down? They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.
  5. Why is it difficult to make fun of the Large Hadron Collider? Because it's hard to discern.
  6. Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned
  7. There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea. One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint.
    They collide...
    All the survivors were marooned.
  8. After I stole the priceless statue and turned the corner, I collided into the female security guard's chest... ...It was a huge bust.
  9. A ship carrying red paint collided with another that was carrying purple paint Both crews were marooned
  10. Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider... It was full of nerds so they split.

Share These Collider Jokes With Friends

Collider One Liners

Which collider one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with collider? I can suggest the ones about collision and bouncer.

  1. What did the black holes say when they collided? Nothing, they just waved.
  2. A cement mixer collided with a prison van Be sure to look out for 10 hardened criminals.
  3. A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped
  4. Why people are afraid of The Large Hadron Collider (LHC)? because it's Very conCERNing!
  5. A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today. The survivors are marooned.
  6. What do you call it when 4 giraffes collide? A giraffic jam!
  7. If we could put bread in a particle collider... We could discover new quarks and glutons.
  8. What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider? Higg no rants
  9. How fast are the particles in the Large Hadron Collider going? Super cern-ic
  10. What do particle physicists like to drink? Pina colliders.
  11. Yo momma's so fat, she uses the Large Hadron Collider as a hula hoop.
  12. A red ship and a blue ship collided in the middle of the sea The crew was marooned.
  13. Two bicyclists collided in India... Ten thousand people died.
  14. What would happen if the Large Hadron Collider broke down? Concerns
  15. What did one autonomous car say to the other when they collided? App yours!

Hadron Collider Jokes

Here is a list of funny hadron collider jokes and even better hadron collider puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I just found out about this underground science ring It's called the Large Hadron Collider
  • LHC (Large Hadron Collider) When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.
  • What's the difference between a particle accelerator and Donald Trump? One is a large hadron collider and the other is a small hard-on colluder
  • What would happen if someone accidentally Collided a fork lift into the Large Hadron Collider? ConCERNs
  • If CERN's Large Hadron Collider creates a black hole that destroys earth would that make it a weapon of math destruction?
  • What do you get when you smash two old protons together in the large hadron collider a muon.
  • Yo Mama So Fat... took the Large Hadron Collider to weigh her atoms.
  • Hadron collider? I hardly know her!
  • So a scientist working the Large Hadron Collider lied on some lab reports He's a real Higgs Boso
  • Why did the physicist at the Hadron Collider get thrown in jail? Because he was a mass m**...

Particle Collider Jokes

Here is a list of funny particle collider jokes and even better particle collider puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.
Collider joke

Quirky and Hilarious Collider Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.

What funny jokes about collider you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blender jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make collider pranks.

In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:

A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."

The lady who had crashed her SUV complained to the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking beer from a bottle at the time.

The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own garden!


A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...
He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large h**... on his back.
She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed h**... herself.
Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.
Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.
Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!
He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...
As she swam off she said..."I'll h**..., I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T s**... s**...!

Two turtles collide in an intersection.

When the police come, they look around to see if there are any witnesses, they only see a snail on the sidewalk. The police approach the snail and ask him if he could tell them what he saw. To which the snail replied, "well, it happened so fast..."

A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .

. . .when she turns the corner near a bar, only to collide with a mean-looking, stumbling drunk. The drunk flies into a rage, and punches her in the face. He then kicks her square in the gut, and begins to brutally pummel her head and face as she doubles over.
Within a minute, she is reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. The drunk spits on the nun, and sneers.
"Yeah. . .not so f**...' tough NOW, eh Batman?"

Right before colliding with an iceberg...

The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van.

Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

This weekend a red ship & a blue ship collided at sea

Tragically, all the sailors were marooned.

A son was walking along side his father

While walking, the kid was looking at his phone and didn't notice a pole in front of him, which resulted with him colliding with the pole.
The father said, That was some a pole ing behavior and began to laugh at his own joke
The son, being slightly irritated, snapped back at the father saying, was that pun really necessary?
The father than replied with, well, you walked right into that one

What do you call it when two well endowed astrophysicists have a gay sword fight?

A Large h**... Collider.

Two atoms were walking down the street when they collided.

The first one exclaims, "I've lost an electron!"
The second one asks, "Are you sure?"
The first one replies, "I'm positive!"

Collider joke, Two atoms were walking down the street when they collided.