Collider Jokes

Following is our collection of higgs puns and spacetime one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Collider jokes for adults, dirty quark jokes and clean fission dad gags for kids.

The Best Collider Puns

Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down?

They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.

Why did the physicist at the Hadron Collider get thrown in jail?

Because he was a mass murderer

Why is it difficult to make fun of the Large Hadron Collider?

Because it's hard to discern.

Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider...

It was full of nerds so they split.

What do you call it when two well endowed astrophysicists have a gay sword fight?

A Large Hardon Collider.

I just found out about this underground science ring

It's called the Large Hadron Collider

What do you call 2 gay physicists having sex?

A hard on collider.

So I heard they built a gayporn production facility on the CERN-compound...

Apparently it's called the "Large Hardon Collider".

LHC (Large Hadron Collider)

When LHC discovered Higgs Boson, it literally became deus ex machina.

Why people are afraid of The Large Hadron Collider (LHC)?

because it's Very conCERNing!

Nuclear Physicist Bartender

How did Nuclear Physicist mix drinks at his party?

With a Piña Collider.

Why do dyslexic gay men keep going to Switzerland?

To see the large hardon collider

I want to create a machine that would smash two boners together at nearly the speed of light.

I'll call it the Large Hard-on Collider

TIL that Geneva has the biggest meeting place for Homosexual scientists in the world.

It's called the "Large Hardon Collider"

If we could put bread in a particle collider...

We could discover new quarks and glutons.

What do you call a risk or a negative implication related to The Large Hedron Collider?

A concern

What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider?

Higg no rants

How fast are the particles in the Large Hadron Collider going?

Super cern-ic

What's the difference between a particle accelerator and Donald Trump?

One is a large hadron collider and the other is a small hard-on colluder

Yo momma's so fat,

she uses the Large Hadron Collider as a hula hoop.

What would happen if someone accidentally Collided a fork lift into the Large Hadron Collider?


What's the only thing that can pleasure a supermassive black hole?

A Large Hard-on Collider

What would happen if the Large Hadron Collider broke down?


Scientists have found the main vector of homosexuality:

The large hardon collider.

If CERN's Large Hadron Collider creates a black hole that destroys earth

would that make it a weapon of math destruction?

There is an abundance of particle jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 25 funniest jokes and collider puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any quantum witze you can hear about collider.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes