Collided Jokes
48 collided jokes and hilarious collided puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about collided that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Collided Short Jokes
Short collided jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The collided humour may include short collision jokes also.
- Breaking news just in. A cement mixer has collided with a prison van on the highway, Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals
- Did you hear about the Mucinex truck that collided with a Nyquil truck on the highway? Amazingly, the entire area was congestion-free for over 8 hours.
- Breaking News: A ship carrying red paint just collided with a ship carrying purple paint, in the South China Sea. Authorities report that the crews of both ships are marooned
- Did you hear about the Large Hadron Collider going down? They are gonna have to bring in a quantum mechanic.
- Why is it difficult to make fun of the Large Hadron Collider? Because it's hard to discern.
- Breaking News - in Hong Kong, a ship carrying red paint collided with a ship carrying purple paint CNN reports that both crews are marooned
- There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea. One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint.
They collide...
All the survivors were marooned. - After I stole the priceless statue and turned the corner, I collided into the female security guard's chest... ...It was a huge bust.
- A ship carrying red paint collided with another that was carrying purple paint Both crews were marooned
- Two atoms walk into a party at the Large Hadron Collider... It was full of nerds so they split.
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Collided One Liners
Which collided one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with collided? I can suggest the ones about car collision and exploded.
- What did the black holes say when they collided? Nothing, they just waved.
(Sorry) - A cement mixer collided with a prison van Be sure to look out for 10 hardened criminals.
- A prison van and a cement truck collided Several hardened criminals escaped
- Why people are afraid of The Large Hadron Collider (LHC)? because it's Very conCERNing!
- A red and blue ship collided in the Mediterranean today. The survivors are marooned.
- What do you call it when 4 giraffes collide? A giraffic jam!
- If we could put bread in a particle collider... We could discover new quarks and glutons.
- What do two atoms argue in the hadron collider? Higg no rants
- How fast are the particles in the Large Hadron Collider going? Super cern-ic
- What do particle physicists like to drink? Pina colliders.
- Yo momma's so fat, she uses the Large Hadron Collider as a hula hoop.
- A red ship and a blue ship collided in the middle of the sea The crew was marooned.
- Two bicyclists collided in India... Ten thousand people died.
- What would happen if the Large Hadron Collider broke down? Concerns
- What did one autonomous car say to the other when they collided? App yours!
Uproarious Collided Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about collided you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean crashed car jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make collided pranks.
In celebration of my very first Cake Day, I'm reposting one of my own jokes:
A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.
The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside. One of them, suffering from Schistosomiasis, has a myocardial infarction.
A bystander witnesses the entire event and quickly calls to report the accident on his Huawei.
The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"
"It's hard to say."
The lady who had crashed her SUV complained to the Police that the man she collided with was on his mobile and drinking beer from a bottle at the time.
The Police said that the gentleman was entitled to do what ever he wanted in his own garden!
Whales
A large Humpback whale is lazily enjoying a beautiful day when he sees a female Humpback whale just a little ways off, and he thinks to himself that he's going to try to impress her...
He swims over to her, and breeches the surface, showing off the large h**... on his back.
She looked unimpressed as she breached and showed a larger more well formed h**... herself.
Now, a little embarrassed, he tries again to impress her by taking a breath and blowing a huge cloud of mist and water with a really nice rainbow in it.
Once again she looked unimpressed and she blew a larger cloud of mist, with a more beautiful rainbow.
Now clearly agitated, the Male sees a Navel vessel in the distance and races off toward it. Just before he collides with the ship, he dives, jumps out of the water and as he sails over the bow of the ship, he plucks a sailor off the deck and in one gulp swallows him whole!
He swam back to her very proud of himself, only to find the female object of his attentions with a disgusted look on her face...
As she swam off she said..."I'll h**..., I'll Blow, BUT I WON'T s**... s**...!
Why did the physicist at the Hadron Collider get thrown in jail?
Because he was a mass m**...
Two turtles collide in an intersection.
When the police come, they look around to see if there are any witnesses, they only see a snail on the sidewalk. The police approach the snail and ask him if he could tell them what he saw. To which the snail replied, "well, it happened so fast..."
A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .
. . .when she turns the corner near a bar, only to collide with a mean-looking, stumbling drunk. The drunk flies into a rage, and punches her in the face. He then kicks her square in the gut, and begins to brutally pummel her head and face as she doubles over.
Within a minute, she is reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. The drunk spits on the nun, and sneers.
"Yeah. . .not so f**...' tough NOW, eh Batman?"
Right before colliding with an iceberg...
The captain of the Titanic got ready to make an announcement:
"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Fun fact, this ship weighs about 52 thousand kilograms. I'm gonna let that sink in..."
A cement mixer has collided with a prison van.
Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.
This weekend a red ship & a blue ship collided at sea
Tragically, all the sailors were marooned.
A son was walking along side his father
While walking, the kid was looking at his phone and didn't notice a pole in front of him, which resulted with him colliding with the pole.
The father said, That was some a pole ing behavior and began to laugh at his own joke
The son, being slightly irritated, snapped back at the father saying, was that pun really necessary?
The father than replied with, well, you walked right into that one
What do you call it when two well endowed astrophysicists have a gay sword fight?
A Large h**... Collider.
Two atoms were walking down the street when they collided.
The first one exclaims, "I've lost an electron!"
The second one asks, "Are you sure?"
The first one replies, "I'm positive!"
A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean......
Both crews were marooned
I just found out about this underground science ring
It's called the Large Hadron Collider
An airliner is in the middle of its flight when pilot is contacted by air control
"Delta 627, you need to reduce your altitude 5.000 feet." "What for?" is the pilot skeptical. "Noise avoidance." responds the controller. "Noise? What noise? We are at 35.000 feet, what noise could there be?" responds our pilot, now curious. So the air controller humours him: "Have you ever heard how much noise two airliners make when they collide?"
Two hydrogen atoms decide that they want to ride on the Large Hadron Collider.
They jump on a plane to Switzerland and sneak in while no one is looking. As they start to speed up one of them realises that they have both lost their electrons. It mentions it to his friend who asks "Are you sure?"
It replys "I'm positive."
What would happen if Uranus collided with earth?
It would be a pain in the a**....
What happens when Jeff Bezo's Rocket and Richard Branson's Rocket collide?
Branson's rocket is no longer a v**......
Colored Sailors
A ship loaded with blue paint collided with a ship carrying red paint.
Both ships sink.
The Sailors were marooned.
I read that the Large Magellanic Cloud is going to collide with the Milky Way in 2 billion years.
Maybe the government shutdown will be over by then.
