The Best 12 Collide Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Collide jokes. There are some collide accidents jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these collide encounter puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Collide Jokes and Puns

There are two boats (tankers) about to collide at sea.

One is filled with purple paint, the other with red paint.

They collide...

All the survivors were marooned.

Two turtles collide in an intersection.

When the police come, they look around to see if there are any witnesses, they only see a snail on the sidewalk. The police approach the snail and ask him if he could tell them what he saw. To which the snail replied, "well, it happened so fast..."

A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .

. . .when she turns the corner near a bar, only to collide with a mean-looking, stumbling drunk. The drunk flies into a rage, and punches her in the face. He then kicks her square in the gut, and begins to brutally pummel her head and face as she doubles over.

Within a minute, she is reduced to a quivering, sobbing mess on the sidewalk. The drunk spits on the nun, and sneers.

"Yeah. . .not so fuckin' tough NOW, eh Batman?"

Collide joke, A nun is doing her rounds around town. . .

A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean......

Both crews were marooned

I read that the Large Magellanic Cloud is going to collide with the Milky Way in 2 billion years.

Maybe the government shutdown will be over by then.


A doctor and a lawyer met with an accident....

A doctor and a lawyer in 2 cars collide on a country road.
The lawyer seeing that the doctor was a little shaken up, helps him from the car and offers him a drink from his hip flask.
The doctor accepts and has a couple of generous sips and hands it back to the lawyer, who closes it and puts it away.
"Aren't you going to have a drink yourself?" asks the doctor.

"Sure, after the police leave."

-Two atoms walking down the street

Two atoms walking down the street happen to collide into one another. The first one exclaims, "Oh no! I think I've lost an electron!"Β 
"Are you sure?" says the second atom.Β 
"Yes, I'm positive!"

Collide joke, -Two atoms walking down the street

What do you call it when 4 giraffes collide?

A giraffic jam!

What sound does it make when a water truck and a vinnegar truck collide?

Douche

My wife asked me "If you had a loaded gun, and you saw 2 busses that were going to collide and you could save one by shooting the driver of the other (killing everyone aboard) one bus loaded with children, the other loaded with my parents and relatives, who would you save?"

I told her "That's a loaded question"

There is 2 boats

One is filled with red paint

The other is filled with blue paint

They collide

What happens to the survivors?

They are marooned

You can explore collide uppercut reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean collide giraffes dad jokes. There are also collide puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If two tanker trucks collide at an intersection, ones scarring water, the other is carrying vinegar, what sound do they make?

DOUCHE!!!!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the collide collision jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working collide collider piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes